Unsteady
by ectocosme
Summary: As the war with Wutai abate, a group with enhanced men grow in its heart. AVALANCHE is already harassing SHinRa, allowing the newcomers to grow and casualties to rise. ShinRa said all was in control. Zack, trusting, never thought Cloud would go down. But it happened. Years later Zack has to face reality anew, Cloud isn't so down. AU ASGZC
1. Ch 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own anything albeit my terrible idea

 **Complete summary** :

As the war with Wutai abate, a group with enhanced men raise it anew. Casualities are not unusual, except Zack never thought Cloud would go down.

Or lovers are separated then find each others anew. No death (of important people). Everyone is trying their best to help each other and save what can be saved.

 **Additional thingy to know :** soulmates & soulmarks! Cloud/Zack, Seph/Gen/Geal THEN ASGZC (I'm on AO3 if you prefer)

 **NDA** : Look, it's time I acknowledge the truth: I am a fandom hopper. I'll give you 1 to 3 fics then disappear like a fucking cryptid. You're warned.

This is self-indulgent, okay? I formed a plot daydreaming about the angry chocobo and I'm kind of bullshiting the chronologie/canon story/and the rest. So, right now **Cloud is one year older** than in canon.

ALSO I'm sorry for the mistakes :(

Anyway, good lecture!

* * *

 **edit. 09.10** ,

listen, writing take time, you can't deny it. It's like drawing. Right. Now that this tidbit is clear let's talk about what bother me. Giving chapters to a beta need two things that you might overlook: 1. organisation skills, 2. more time to get over the corrections. Both thing I lack. Betas readers are cool! I had some both in french and english I had good relationships with! but ultimately, it's not possible for me, for an ongoing fic.

So I'm **not** getting a beta reader while the fic is ongoing! and don't come say to me the mistakes are hindering the lecture bc:

1\. I know I have mistakes, I don't care. You can read, I know it. Native english told me it's clear, if not always perfectly 'comfortable'.

2\. Either you have a fic, or you have nothing as my fic is written but not edited and not posted.

I write bc I enjoy it, I'd like to share it too, but I'm certainly not trying to win a nobel prize of literature with my fic, in do the hard work for my _original french fiction_ , not for a _hobby_

also, the fic still not isn't updated regularly, or at all. Bc y'all are shouting about beta reader and it piss me off, especially when there twenty or so people who favorite the fic but don't care to say anything. That's not giving me the will to update or correct my mistakes

end of the NDA, bye

* * *

 **One**

.

Cloud left Angeal's office with a folder he was dying to open. If he did, he was probably dead for sure. He accepted to give it to the science department for the Commander. Zack told him about the Elite Trinity hatred for this place, even if they were silent about it. Plus Angeal was a cool dude and Cloud was happy to help him a bit when he was almost buried under papers.

Still, the folder was in his hand, asking to be open. Cloud couldn't resist.

"Strife."

The infantryman almost jumped out of his skin. He turned around and saw Luxiere coming. Damn, he hated how the man could sneak up on him. Whereas all others SOLDIERS were as discreet as elephants when off duty. Especially since military boots squeaked on the linoleum.

"You're searching Zack again?" asked the man with his calm front.

Cloud sighed, he knew the guy was boiling inside. He had a strange habit of protecting Zack from any perceived dangers. Cloud didn't think he could qualify as a danger for his friend, newly turned First Class.

"I dropped off the registration forms for the SOLDIERS exam in Angeal's office."

Cloud hoped his honest answer would be enough, but Luxiere followed him to the lift.

"And you're taking the exam, uh? Did you ask Zack?"

Cloud bristled and bore a hole in the button calling the lift like it'd made him go faster. Where was the damn thing?

"I took the preliminary test, like everyone."

The lift finally arrived and the doors opened, but Luxiere stepped in front of him, blocking the path.

"I need to give that to the science department, can you let me pass, sir."

Luxiere was going to say something, but one of the office's doors opened and the two froze. Bo stepped outside, saluted his superior then headed for the lift. He waved at them with a calm smile, much more natural than Luxiere.

"Everyone's going down?" he asked, stepping in the lift.

Cloud moved past Luxiere and nodded to Bo, the second class sniffed and refused, letting the two alone. The blonde breathed, happy not to have to be too disrespectful to a superior, even if he was a bully. He managed better with others infantrymen for many reasons. The first being that they were still human, so not immunised to a punch or a hit on the knee.

"Thanks," mumbled Cloud. He didn't like needing help but he knew when it was necessary. The last time he felt hopeless face to face with a bully was at Nibelheim. At the end he did break some noses and gave a good amount of bruises, winning his peace.

"Luxiere is a bit strange but he'll calm down. Someday," answered Bo. "I think he's jealous of you. Zack doesn't stay with one person as much as with you. He's a social butterfly."

"Yeah, but he say I use Zack to become SOLDIER."

"He should know it doesn't work that way, even if you tried. You have a special something with Zack and I'll be happy to know how you hold his attention this long. Though, I'm curious about Luxiere's reaction when Zack will have a lover for more than a month. Or Gods forbid, his soulmate!" Bo laughed. "It's my floor. Bye, Nibelheimer!"

"Bye," Cloud said back, waving without energy. He chuckled when the doors closed on him again. "A special something, uh?"

He smiled like a goof, Zack and him were pretty tight lipped about the whole thing since it was in both of their cultures, but if you knew the signs... or people could ask. None of them would lie or hide the truth if only asked, but nobody made the connection yet. It was possible that Bo was suspicious, he was born and lived near Nibelheim. He did know about some strange cultural thingy from the mountain. It was one of the reasons he and Cloud were friendly even, if the blonde was not fond of socialising.

Angeal should know, if he wasn't so overwhelmed and could spend time with Zack – and Cloud.

Cloud stepped outside the lift, arriving at the medical ward and carried on his way to the labs.

"Spike!"

Cloud held his arms in the air before he was lifted in a bear hug by a very gross SOLDIER. Zack put him down, a smile on his lips as Cloud complained about the grim on his uniform. At least the folder was safe and sound. Then Cloud remembered where they were.

"Why are you here? Are you hurt? You okay?"

"Hey, hey Spike, calm down. I'm a First now! Too cool to be hurt. Although Angeal still kicks my ass. But I'm all fine, better now that I saw my best friend. New Corporal, soon to be SOLDIER. And I burnt my tongue on coffee the other day." Cloud blushed at the praise but let Zack talk. He would give him his answer in all the seemingly unrelated sentences. "Abe, the third Class that was with me, was hurt though. I put him in the doc's hands."

Cloud breathed in relief. He hit Zack on the nose with the folder, earning Zack's undivided attention. "I need to give that to a scientist then work. Go wash yourself and sleep."

"You're coming tonight?"

"You'll be sleeping like a hibernating bear."

"C'mon! And bring something to eat. I'm starving."

Zack ruffled Cloud's hair and bolted out of the corridor. Some nurses and doctors looked away as Cloud remarked them. He groaned, but let it slide, everyone spied on the Firsts Class SOLDIERs like it was a national sport.

In the corridor leading to the labs was a man Cloud never thought he would see. Even if he was with Zack. Sephiroth stood there, leaning against the wall as he waited for something. He frowned at Cloud. The infantryman made a startled noise, he stumbled on his own feet, then disappeared in the lab, hiding his deep blush at the awkwardness Sephiroth saw from him.

The scientist at the entry desk didn't even spare him a glance. "Sephiroth is already out. Didn't you see him?"

"Uh? Yes?"

"Then you don't need to be here."

Cloud stayed silent as he tried to understand what was going on. He put the files on the desk with slow movements.

"Lt. General Angeal asked me to give you this."

"Oh. Thank you, you can go."

The infantryman nodded and exited the lab. Sephiroth was still here. He glared again. Which, now that Cloud thought about it, was strange for the composed man.

Cloud stopped breathing as his heart decided it was time to panic. He tried to remember everything Zack said on dealing with a wild and angry Sephiroth.

"Mint chocolate chip is his weakness, go for it. If he's angry with you it mellows him enough for you to run for your life. Though, you'll want to put Genesis on his path first. He'll irritate him a bit more and they'll go for a spar. Well, it worked like that before they knew for their bond. So try to irritate Genesis first. Then put him on his path. Then put Angeal and wait for Seph with a bowl of ice cream and Banora apple juice. You'll be fine," had said Zack, still munching on a pizza. "Except if Genesis and Sephiroth wired up each other and took you as their target. Even Angeal couldn't reason the two without letting them steam off. So if it happens, you're dead."

Nothing was helpful in this scenario and Cloud hoped Hel would be clement on him. Sephiroth wobbled on his legs, Cloud reached an arm on instinct and held the man still. Sephiroth blinked, expired, then opened his mouth to thank him like it was hard to say. Cloud could have taken umbrage if he didn't deal with a Zack sluggish and high, not three weeks ago.

"Did- did you have a mako booster, sir?" Cloud asked, lips dry.

Sephiroth chuckled, a weak sound that didn't carry any joy. He didn't answer, only looked at Cloud.

"Will you let me help you?" Cloud murmured. He didn't want to hurt Sephiroth's sensible hearing. He was a bit dejected. He was sure the man would shake him off and make him remember he was the General. He was not any other SOLDIER, whatever Zack said.

"Please."

Cloud blinked then staggered as a big body pressed against him. He gritted his teeth and cursed his little frame. He hoped he'll have the growth spurt soon because helping heavy men walking would be a lot easier if they weren't half his size.

Well, he couldn't retract his help now. Cloud would help the man exit the hellish place even if he had to drag him on the ground. Although, Cloud was certain leather would stick and squeak on the lino.

"Shit," Cloud muttered.

Passing by the corridor connecting to the medical bay, Cloud ignored the stares following them. He tried his damnedest not to show how hard it was to support the man. For others, the way Sephiroth stood made him look a bit unstable on his legs. Yet the infantryman was almost crushed under his weight.

"Damn, Zack, why did you go?" whimpered Cloud, pushing the button for the lift. Then he remembered he kind of ordered Zack to take a shower. He cursed himself.

The voyage in the lift was silent and nerve wrenching for Cloud. Sephiroth leaned on the wall more than on him but Cloud had still the man's arm around his shoulders. He could feel the tremors from Sephiroth and heard his inspirations he _tried_ to even out. The 'ping' of their floor made Cloud jump like a surprised cat, waking up Sephiroth a bit.

They made it off the lift before Cloud thought that he didn't want Sephiroth to be alone in this state. He moistened his lips and took a breath to steady himself.

"Sir, I don't think letting you alone like that is a good idea."

"And it would be an honour to spend time with me, right?" Sephiroth responded dryly.

Cloud closed his eyes and forced himself to breath before answering.

"No, I know Zack prefer being with me when he has boosters. Do you want to go to Angeal's or Genesis's apartment? Or I'll help you to yours and fetch one of them. As you want."

Sephiroth seemed surprised but nodded and pointed to one of the door in the hall.

"Genesis' home, please," he said, voice almost pleading.

Cloud all but dragged Sephiroth to the door with Genesis' name. He juggled with his heavy charge for not loosing his grip as he knocked on the door.

The door was flung open with an angry "What?" throwed at Cloud. Then Genesis froze.

"Seph!" Genesis exclaimed, grabbing the silver General. The redhead turned his eyes to Cloud and frowned. "You're the puppy toy aren't you?"

Cloud scowled and shoved Sephiroth in Genesis' arms. He saw him wince as Sephiroth hold on his shoulder to break his fall. The General straightened the second he heard the sound of pain from Genesis. Sephiroth stood like any SOLDIER under an inspection. Genesis reached for Sephiroth and stroked his cheek, murmuring to the man that he was fine.

In an instant the infantryman knew some of the rumors were true.

 _Genesis is hurt_ , they said. _Hollander tried to made him quit ShinRa, taking others SOLDIERs with him. He is not all there in his head. He is placed under a sort of house arrest._

Genesis was hurt. That Cloud could see it for himself. Dark blood on Genesis shoulder swept on his shirt. He was pretty sure Sephiroth saw it too. Others rumors could have a part of veracity. Letting a weakened Lt. General go outside was a clear target for the Wutaiian rebels.

Seeing them being intimate made Cloud feel like an outsider looking in. He fidgeted with embarrassment and cleared is throat.

"I-I'll be leaving now, good day, sirs."

"Yes, you should already be doing whatever troopers do."

Cloud nodded, feeling more empty than angry, and headed back for the lift. He shook his head, trying to understand _why_ he felt empty. Zack always wanted to know why he felt some way, and if introspection made Cloud angry or afraid a lot of time, it did help.

"Don't be harsh, Genesis," Sephiroth whispered.

The infantryman willed himself not to overheard the conversation. But his ears couldn't stop working on demand.

Genesis scoffed, "Come here, darling, we're putting you to bed and cuddling for the rest of the day."

Cloud disappeared in the lift and slammed his hand on the button. He certainly didn't look at the two SOLDIERs embraced. And he understood why he felt empty: he wanted that too. He wanted Zack. Right now he couldn't be bothered by Zack gentle order to bring food and himself to his apartment. He couldn't wait for his working hours to be over.

But first he needed to finish his work for the day. He headed for the barracks, sighing at the prospect of patrolling the plate.

"Cloud! Where were you?" one of his comrade yelled. "Never mind, follow me. We have new orders, we're packing up."

"What? We're leaving? For how long?"

"Two weeks max. Don't worry your pretty head, we won't miss the SOLDIERs exams."

Cloud grumbled, asking the gods why he couldn't spend time with Zack. At snail's pace, he followed his fellow infantryman giving him the details of the mission. He wished he had a PHS to warn Zack.

ₒₒₒ

Sephiroth grabbed his PHS with concealed fury. Genesis had started napping halfway in his book on his lap and he found himself alone with his own thoughts for the first time in weeks. The redhead breath had been a background sound that helped Sephiroth relax during his introspection.

As soon as the rigging started, Genesis stirred, and Sephiroth hoped it was important. Life or death important. If not, he would personally made it as such for the caller.

"Hello Seph." Angeal's voice calmed the general. Until he thought of the reasons why he would communicate during a mission. "Zack called me earlier, but I couldn't talk."

"He is lonely. His trooper friend is on an assignment outside of Midgar," Sephiroth said, absent-mindedly stroking Genesis' hair. He ignored the pang in his heart at seeing the color fade from the strands.

"Seph, I know him. He wasn't good. He didn't put a fight when I said I couldn't talk."

Genesis kissed Sephiroth's hand that was resting on his head and stretched.

"Just... find him, please?"

"I will,"Sephiroth sighed. "Be safe."

He stood when Angeal hung up and called Zack's PHS in hope to reach him but to no avail. Sephiroth wandered into the ShinRa labyrinth, checking all the favorite places of the puppy. Genesis was the first to lose patience and grabbed Sephiroth's hand to stop him.

"We can ask Kunsel."

"You should be at home," Sephiroth retorted. He squeezed Genesis' hand back before dropping it and followed the advice.

As it was Kunsel had Zack's location, as always, and the two First Class were heading for the army barracks. They weren't happy about it. Both of them thought Zack's friend returned and they were catching up. Or Zack's friend, who was still a mere human, wanted to sleep and didn't give enough attention to the puppy who ended wandering the halls and calling superiors.

Reaching the barracks they noticed the heavy atmosphere around them. Troopers muttered between themselves and wore dark expressions. Genesis asked for Zack's spot, a shaking finger answered him.

They arrived at a dormitory empty of any men except for Zack sitting on a bed. He had a photography in hand and didn't remove his eyes from it.

"Hey."

Sephiroth and Genesis exchanged a worried glance at the monotonous salutation. Zack looked lifeless.

"Cloud's squad fell in a trap. Explosions everywhere as I heard," Zack explained. His smile sent shivers to Sephiroth and Genesis. "None of them survived. Even the ones rescued died of their wounds later in medic care."

Sephiroth knew his face showed nothing of his mental state but something twisted painfully in his stomach as Zack talked. He cleared his throat but Zack continued.

"Man, I don't even know how I'll drop the news to his mother. The poor woman doesn't remember Cloud is in the army half the time."

Heidegger rarely informed the SOLDIER department of his squadrons' situations if the two departments weren't teaming up at first. It never bothered Sephiroth as it made less papers for him. The squads in difficulties often made it by themselves in such instance. They had a tendency to disobey Heidegger orders to save their lives. Sephiroth though about the way Zack's loss could have been averted if only … but "if" didn't change reality.

Sephiroth tore from his frozen panic and approached the new First. He crouched and squeezed Zack's knee, not trusting his own voice. Even if he did, he hesitated on what to say on such a situation. Behind them Genesis closed the door to give them all privacy.

"I understand your sorrow at losing a dear friend this young. The renewed war is cause of great anguish for us. I – We will help as we can. You already delivered such information for others comrades. You can do the same for your friend."

Zack snorted then lifted his head to meet the General's eyes. His expression froze Sephiroth to the core. It was the look of a broken man.

"Seph, Cloud is … w-was," Zack stammered, tears falling from widened eyes. "He was my soulmate."

.

.


	2. Ch 2

**Two**

.

A cold wind made the squad hunch over themselves, shielding their face from the icy air and floating snow.

"Ah! I understand why the enemy buried themselves here!" John shouted over the wind."Nobody in his right mind would come to this area if not forced."

"Zack seems unbothered," said one of their accompanying trooper. His chattering teeth made him hard to understand, but half the party was of enhanced SOLDIER.

"Bah! I like the snow. Never seen it at my home back in Gongaga. I started hating the heat and even prefer a cool climate now."

Some answers at his comment were lost in the wind but he heard Essai.

"He has a star stuck under his skin, that's why he's full of energy and make the snow melt," Essai joked.

"Well, he doesn't melt only snow," Peter muttered, his throat still aching from a cold. "Remember at Icicle Inn? All the girls were love-struck."

"Boys too!" Sebastian shouted.

They laughed in the face of the terrible weather. Zack kept a smile on his face but all his senses searched for potential threats. There was only snow for miles but Genesis did warn them of monsters master in the art of disguise. Without counting the people they were tracking.

"Was your buddy Cloud a bit like you? He lived too long in a freezing place and started hating it, so he ran off to Midgar?"

Zack froze a second before his smile broadened. He liked thinking about Spike and questions about him kept him alive, somewhere in his heart.

"Nah, Cloud wasn't so swallow to _hate_ a season. He liked all of them. That's why he was so homesick at Midgar."

"Because there are no clear-cut seasons," Tony said, nodding.

He saw the smile on Zack stay for a bit longer and ignored the glare of the older SOLDIERs. They kept saying they shouldn't encourage the First to linger on the past. But younger SOLDIER like him realised how talking about this Cloud dude made Zack happy. Joan, who died not a month ago, lived in Gongaga too and said talking about dead loved ones was pretty normal for them.

When Zack tensed, and reached for his sword, his companions reacted swiftly. An attack. Fortunately, it was only some monsters trying to eat them. They weren't smart enough to run for their life when the SOLDIERs wiped them out. Unfortunately, the battle revealed their location for the enemy. Enhanced guys from the bad side where a bit harder to beat into pulps.

The Watchers' uniform was all black, covering them head to toes when in a mission. It was made to hide identities. Enhanced men like normal ones wore it. Which meant the only way to know if your opponent was enhanced was to look them in the eyes.

 _Don't work if they wear glass!_ Zack thought.

He shielded himself against Essai and his barrier. He used the breather to scan the status of the men under his command. He scoffed, not pleased. The Watchers surrounded them. They weren't some lowly opponents. Zack jumped anew in the battle, giving all he got, fighting alongside those men he knew for years now. He smiled, satisfied to see that none of the living one backed off or faltered.

"Reyes, did you call for back-up?"

A Watchers dipped his sword into the trooper neck. Blood drowned the answer. Zack hitched to fight the man, but he heard enough of Reyes and knew how bad the situation was.

"Retreat!" he shouted, assuring his men some time.

A second wave of fighters cut their retreat.

"Shit!" Zack barely stopped a sword from relieving some of his useful limb.

 _Almost like they planned it_ , thought Zack.

The squad held its ground as much as possible with one SODLIERs for two Watchers. The troopers were since long dead.

Zack was thrown to the ground. He grunted as someone jumped on his back. If they thought he wasn't going down fighting then they were stupid. He rolled over, grabbing one of his army issued blade. It was a tiny thing next to his broad sword, but the lame was sharp and pushed neatly into the neck of his assailant. He heard his men shouting and fighting. It made him grow a feral grin that died the instant a bullet grazed his shoulder. His heart raced as he tried to find the sniper. There wasn't anyone with a gun near them, so it was a sniper. Yet, with the little vision they had, it should be an enhanced man.

Zack grunted, dodging the blade of another Watcher. A sniper. This was new. And not a good sort of new. His men were thrown off their fights by bullets. Another one grazed his tigh. Only because the swordsman made him stay on the trajectory. He staggered then was put on the ground again. A status spell hit him. Even with all his will he couldn't fight the sleepiness overcoming him.

A chuckle escaped him. They weren't trying to kill all of them. This was new too.

* * *

Zack woke up his cheek pressed on something icy. The odor identified it as metal.

"You're with us, sir?" Essai asked.

Zack grunted, forcing his eyes open even if a migraine was cracking open his skull. Sleep spells didn't him good. Yet he sat up checking his surroundings and his men. His heart sank in his stomach as he took in the situation. They were in a cell. A cell with bars big enough to hold a SOLDIER, plus the thing holding his hands he couldn't see. On the other side of the cell was what was a lab clearly put together in a rush.

"Well, shit." Soft snickers echoed from his men.

"Our sentiment, sir," Essai answered dryly.

Zack would have wanted that the absence of John and the young Tony were because they were only separated from the group. For whatever purpose the Watchers needed them. But he did see their bodies in the blood covered snow earlier.

"Can you fill me?" Zack asked as he warmed up his shoulders.

"We were dragged there and nobody showed up since," Sebastian answered, looking him oddly as he worked his hand under his ass. "The matter of our bonds is resistant to our force, our weapons are nowhere in sight and we're like, deep down in hell."

Zack slipped his hands around his thighs, grunting as his shoulders suffered his manœuvre. But he managed to end up with his hands in front of him.

"What? Cloud had a course on way of breaking bonds. The teacher let them think before the real thingy. He just did that and munched on the bonds. Thought you need to be a bit flexible if you don't want to dislocate a shoulder!"

He grinned, Sebastian continued.

"We think it's the old electric dam abandoned after the spread of SinRa."

"A dam in an area subject to reapeted freezing," Peter groaned.

"The river don't froze, apparently," Essai commented.

Zack nodded while testing his bonds. He grimaced at his wounds opening up.

"We're still alive, and we're not alone," Zack encouraged.

Tired smiles answered him. His own smile was strained, but he kept it up. His senses noticed the sound of someone approaching, and he urged everyone to stay silent. A simple human entered, lab coat flung on his arm and tired eyes lingering on them all. He didn't speak as he leaned against a metal bed and light up a cigarette.

The SOLDIERs exchanged worried glance but Zack thought the man was simply dissociating. He did jump like he was caught daydreaming when two Watchers all but dragged a struggling third one between them.

"He's having a pull," said one of them. "That's why he wasn't on the field earlier."

They dropped the third without care. They fell on the ground, a whine escaping their lips. One of the standings Watcher gave them a hit in the shin. He scramed away when the ill person moved to grab his leg. A laugh had escaped the second Watcher before they went out.

"You stop that!" screamed the scientist leaning by the door. "Stop interrupting me when him in the lab! You assholes!"

The Watcher in his black uniform covering him head to toes, struggled to rise from the ground. He had to lean on a table to stand, yet wobbled like a young fawn.

"You're covered in … gross things," the scientist said before pointing a finger to another door. "Shower!"

The Watcher obeyed silently.

"What are you going to do with us?" Zack asked. "Because I would prefer to know if I'm not going to make it home tonight. I can't sleep without, Mr. Fluff, that's my teddy bear."

The First grinned when he received only blank and shocked stare from both sides. He didn't know himself why he said the last part but, hey, making connection with people required that he shares some of his personal history.

"What?"

"I got it when I was five and you know at this age we aren't really good at naming things. Well, he is green - who make bear green, uh? - and fluffy. Greeny was a bad name, so Mr. Fluff it is! Did you have a favorite plushie? I bet you have! What's its name?"

Half-way during his story the scientist shook his head then rummaged in dressers. He put some clothes, all dark and new materials. It looked like a Wutainesse ninja outfit. Which was normal as Watcher were dissident from the Wutaian Empire fighting to 'renew his sense of honor and kick ShinRa ass'. Or something like that.

"Yeah, yeah, I had a rabbit named Carotte." The scientist finally caved. Zack was so elated he didn't look when the door of the shower cracked open but he did when the scientist said: "Are you going to put your trousers on or what?"

Zack blinked, his heart racing at the familiar solhouette. A second he tried to rationalise. It was just a spitting image of him. The real one was dead. Six feet under. But his brain short-circuited and rationality was threw to the four winds.

"Cloud?"

The man, because its was man and not a teen still growing, turned his head an inch toward him. Cloud. Or Cloud-lookalike looked ill and thin. Too thin. He mouthed what Zack thought was 'Cloud', his own name, like he was testing it. The man didn't recognise the name; he barely reacted to it. Which confirmed the part of Zack's brain that screamed he wasn't Cloud. But the crazy hair was recognisable. Then he dropped his mako blue eyes on the trouser the scientist held for him. He wobbled on his legs and gripped the metal table next to him.

Zack stayed mouth agape, eyes wide before the sight of Cloud Strife. Alive, if unsteady, and wearing the black camisole going high on his thighs and up his neck. It was mouth watering. In others circumstances. Because now Zack could only try to reboot his brain and not to panic. His men were right here, looking at him with confusion. He needed to be in control for them.

It had to be a clone or something like that. Or else...

Or else Cloud had been in the Watchers all this time. Which would poses others questions like: Was he forced to fight for them or willing?

"I'm having hallucinations," Cloud said, fighting on pronouncing each word.

Zack pinched his lips closes as a sob threatened to come. It was Cloud's voice. It was his Cloud. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He couldn't be sure. He had to calm his racing heart and uneven breathing. He soudln't panic; he was a dreadful SOLDIER. Even if it was simultaneously the best and worst day in his life.

 _Breathe_ , _dude,_ he ordered himself.

"When are you not?" the scientist answered. "What kind?"

Cloud tapped against one ear then his eye before sighing. He put his trousers but stayed oddly still, not looking at the prisoners.

Zack liked his lips, he was doing all his possible to stay calm when he wanted to throw himself at Cloud and hug him out. He couldn't do that in a cell, he remembered. Cloud didn't recognise him apparently. He may be a clone.

"What are you seeing?"

"Friend."

Zack nearly jumped out of his skin. Cloud could remember him; he felt it. He was _his_ Cloud!

"Hey, I'm not a hallucination, Spike!"

Cloud turned his head to him at the surname. He frowned, opened his mouth but didn't say a word. Zack wiggled closer from the bars.

"Like hell you're his friend," the scientist huffed. He puffed a cloud of smoke and crossed his arms. Then turned his head toward Cloud. "It is? The guy is your friend?"

The SOLDIERs behind Zack were tense, observing the scene with the same attention as him. Cloud fixed the scientist. Zack realised the guy was far from Cloud's arm length. In this condition he doubted Cloud could stop the scientist from warning others Watchers. Cloud had trouble _standing_. Zack bite his lips, guilt overwhelming him. He may have put Cloud in danger.

Zack snorted, his buddy was in the Watchers. The thing was that he had to be in danger a lot. Maybe more than SOLDIERs. After all they didn't know how the inside worked.

"Doc!"

"Argh!" The scientist jumped, hand to his heart. His cigarette fell to the ground as he turned. Everyone imitated him except for Cloud. His eyes fixated on one point.

The Watcher at the door was dressed up in the uniform, but his head was bare of a mask, letting them saw his blond hair, way more normal than Cloud's.

"What are you doing there, Dirk?"

"Heard Sky is having a pull." He pointed to the SOLDIERs. "What are you going to do with them?"

"Experiences," the doc grumbled.

"Experience," Cloud repeated.

"Well, okay. He's having a pull," Dirk chuckled.

"Yeah, also, the First here say he's Sky's friend."

"It's Cloud!" Zack blurted out. His men fidgeted but stayed as silent as fishes as per his order.

The doc lighted another cigarette; he inhaled as Dirk was eyeing them. "How do we know he's telling the truth?"

"Oh shit," Essai muttered. Zack agreed with a nod.

Dirk opened his palms; he expressed his disbelief silently. When the doc didn't answer his silent question, he threw his arms in the air, "Why me? How do I know? Sky has more conflicting memories than emmental cheese has holes."

The doc waved his hand, more concentrated on his cigarette than Cloud standing like a zombie or the exasperated Dirk. Zack eyed him as he looked over the array of strange instruments on a counter. He took what looked a lot like Reno's weapon. Then he sauntered back to the cell, powering the weapon.

Zack smelled the electricity before the little blue arcs roamed the nightstick. Dirk looked at them, then pressed the weapon to the cell. Zack tensed, heart racing. He couldn't have been prepared enough for the shot of pain that tore through him. A scream escaped his lips. Even if he swore to stay strong. His men echoed his pain.

Zack heard bare feet moving. Then a head hit the bars with force. Despite his zombie-like attitude a second ago Cloud moved as fast as a First. He hit then held Dirk on the ground with easiness. It was an instinctive reaction, Zack thought.

"Wow! You win! You win!" Dirk screamed, his face planted on the ground, Cloud holding him with a death grip. One of the SOLDIER emitted a muttered "damn" that echoed Zack's thoughts. The blond released his hold before his attention was drawn to the doc approaching the nightstick. Dirk demanded: "Wow, don't touch that, doc!"

"I'm only turning it off," he said, doing just that. "See?"

Cloud's body became slack, he staggered from his crouched position and fell on his butt. Zack couldn't resist the urge to grab his hand. He observed Cloud, the way his eyes focused on their hands.

"You're real," Cloud muttered.

Zack chuckled. "So are you."

Cloud lifted his head at that, his eyes mesmerised Zack. Though the greenish veil made his stomach coil. He held the hand tighter when Dirk stood up.

"How in hell it is saying if the man is his friend?" asked the doc.

"Oh! I couldn't verify that, but now, I can assure you he won't let you experiment on them!" Dirk exclaimed. Then he approached Cloud, still on the ground. Zack was terrified, their only help in this situation could easily be removed. Cloud was too sick to think clearly, he reacted at stimulus so when Dirk placed his hand on the blond gently he didn't struggle.

"Don't touch him!" Zack shouted, their hands parting. "Cloud don't-! Do something! Fight!"

"Oh, sush!" Dirk muttered, holding Cloud. Zack was persuaded he would remove him from the piece but he dropped him in a chair.

Dirk crouched before Cloud and pressed his knee. "So, yes of no questions, as always." He paused, "He's your friend?"A nod answered. "You don't want him here?"Another nod. "You have a plan?" The SOLDIER held their breath as Cloud nodded. "Please, tell me you had it before your pull."

Cloud had a weak smile, lifted a hand, then made a move that looked like sign language. Dirk hummed and turned his head to the SOLDIERs, "Two weeks. You should be happy he isn't putting it off right now."

"What?" Essai blurted out.

"Well, his escape plan of course!"

Zack glanced at the zombie-Cloud, an alive Cloud. The blond looked straight at him even with mako glazing his eyes. An uncontrolled smile spread on Zack's face.

.

.

* * *

so, as you should have inferred I'm already writing some scenes from next chapters and I need you to understand what happened to me, which explain my "oops ASGZC happened" moment, so story time! (again)

me: damn Gen and Cloud are cute togheter maybe I'll write a strifesodos after that  
brain: they're in love  
me: no, no, just cute and friendly  
brain: they're in love now  
me: look, Gen is Angeal and Seph soulmate, Cloud is Zack. They're only friend. Plus I don't want to write some complex thing about polyamory with your soulmate but also with non-soulmate. I'll get confused. I confused myself just now. The point is: they aren't soulmate  
brain: … or are they? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
me, soflty: holy shit


	3. Ch 3

yeah I'm a quiche, I managed to delete the story. Not a big deal. Now I'm wasted and I'm gonna complain about french elections for a while, your safe

* * *

 **Three**

.

"You're saying you're really helping us escape?" Peter asked.

"If so, you should detach us!" Sebastian said.

The doc inhaled smoke from his cigarette, ignoring them. He was excellent at ignoring people it seemed. The silence stretched.

"Ah! I'm not the one doing it, ask Sky." He pointed to Cloud who was looking at nothing.

"It's Cloud!" Zack corrected without thinking twice.

"And he doesn't look that perky, how will he help us? What if they're just playing with us?" Peter asked his companions.

Zack dug an elbow in Peter's side to silence him. "Hey, can I talk to Cloud?"

"He is having a mako pull, he's too manipulable right now," the doc commented. It just made Zack more twitchy, what if Peter was right? They might be playing with them. And using Cloud's weakness for that.

"Let me talk to him!"

Dirk ignored him. He spoke to Cloud, "Ok, who do you need?"

"Flore, Lydia."

"Got it!" Dirk said, standing up. "Doc, put him his shoes."

"Why?"

"Do you want to go search Flore and Lydia?" Dirk stood in the doorway, his expression showing he didn't believe the doc wanted that. Then he nodded in confirmation of his own comment as the doc grumbled and waved him off.

The man fetched a military boot lying on the ground and grunted as he crouched next to Cloud.

"What if the other guy just went warning his superiors?" Peter whispered.

"Well, won't change our situation too much," Essai grumbled then addressed Zack. "Thought your buddy could risk sanctions."

Zack grimaced. "Don't say that." He closed his eyes at the whiny tone of his voice. With the stress his hand started tapping a rhythm on his knee without thinking. He needed something to distract himself from his swirling thoughts about Cloud and his life here. He listened to the doc grumbles.

"Don't know why you kept coming to me."

"Don't … experience."

Zack tensed at Cloud's slow words, an icy shiver roaming his backbone.

"That the thing, kid. I did experiences on you." Zack bit his lips, he heard Essai's shocked gasp. "You don't remember?"

"Friend."

"Well, you're hoarding strange friends. But I guess it's been a long time I didn't touch you," the doc whispered. "Damn, there so many laces on those things!"

When the regular tap-tap of military boots approached Zack was sure he was about to implode. All the possible scenarios were playing in his head. An instant he was sure he could break the bars if the situation needed it. He wouldn't let Cloud be parted from him again. He blocked his shoulder and kept his wrist far from each others. The bonds tensed and pushed painfully in his skin but he needed to weaken them. He endured the pain without a twitch.

"Flore's here! Lydia's coming," Dirk said. "What do you want from them?"

A little gangly teen girl followed after Dirk but stayed next to him. She looked warily at the SOLDIERs.

"Weapons," Cloud said as the doc tried to put him the second boot. He tapped his barefoot on the ground, escaping the doc hold. "SOLDIERs weapons. Your rifle."

"B-but, everyone know you're having a pull. They'll ask questions," Flore said. "And I can't take all the weapons you want."

"Tell them it was a short one, and he's pissed. It's should be enough." Dirk ruffled her short hair."Do your panicked stare if they ask something more."

"B-but."

Another woman, older, entered the piece. "Go, Flore."

The girl whimpered and went at snail's pace, but she went.

"Faster!" Dirk yelled at the entry door. Zack stayed focused on the new girl that swatted away the doc and proceeded to help Cloud with his boot. He wanted to do that. He wanted to take care of Cloud, to save him.

 _Breathe_ , he ordered his shocked body. Zack swallowed the ball of mixed feelings threatening to suffocate him.

"Yeah, I would love nothing more than believing you're really trying to help. But maybe detach us? Pretty please?" Zack asked, smile bright.

Lydia waved at the doc smoking like there was no tomorrow. "Keys, doc."

Cloud leaned toward the girl and caught her eyes, she continued to lace the boot without looking at it. He clearly fought to form a more coherent question, "How long can you fight?"

"Five minutes max."

He nodded, exhaling a long breath. His eyes fluttered shut, making him look asleep.

"We need something to wake him up a bit, doc," Dirk demanded.

The man grumbled – again – and left the keys he finally found next to Cloud. Lydia picked them up and approached the SOLDIERs. Her pale blue eyes glowered with mako as much as distrust. On her neck a dark patch of skin made Zack think of Genesis' degradation. Her five minutes of fighting suddenly made more sense.

"Sky trusts you to help," she said. It was words of hope and a menace at the same time.

Zack fidgeted on the ground, ready to jump on his legs and tackle his Cloud in a hug. Even if he knew he wouldn't do it. He wasn't as naïve – or even stupid – as people said. He spent years with bone wary SOLDIERs now, there was certain rules for the veterans. Like being sure the guy saw you coming before even brushing past him. Or he would deck you.

He actually learned that from Sephiroth. To be accurate Zack was obligated to update his policy on tackle-hug if he didn't want to end up against a wall. People thought Zack impinged on Sephiroth's personal space without giving him choice and the man resigned himself. People where wrong. After Zack started being more observing of Sephiroth's reactions and backed down many times from his burst of touching spree, the General warmed up to him. It took a few months and many bruises, but it worked out in the end.

The Watchers had the demeanour of hypervigilant SOLDIERs; Zack doubted he could touch Cloud without freaking him out. As much as it made his gut twist, he knew how to react to that. Being close to Cloud was still better than having only memories of him. It was a different sort of torture than having his soulmate absent from his life. Yet Zack was gladly jumping on this train of pain.

Flore return distracted him a second. She dropped all the weapons on the ground, smiled mischievously when Dirk howled at the lack of care. He took a sword and verified his integrity. Then the sound of Zack's bond falling on the ground made him jump on his feet. Lydia moved her hand toward her sword, strapped at her back, but resumed her previous task.

Zack stopped at arms length of Cloud, suddenly hesitant. His limbs hurt because of how tense he was. Flore approached and took Cloud's attention. He bit his lips not to whimper at being ignored. He glanced around the room to distract himself. He noticed the two swords Dirk was guarding from the SOLDIERs choosing their weapons on the ground and the doc filling a syringe.

"My rifle isn't useful without a materia, she isn't one with bullets," she muttered.

Cloud silently asked to be handed the weapon. Under Zack's eyes he rummaged through his hair and pulled out a fire materia hold with a bobby pin. Zack couldn't escape the bubbling laugh that took him. He muffled it behind is gloved hand, sure that hearing a laugh in a lab was more worrying for guards than nasty screams.

One point for Real-Cloud-is-here-holy-shit-fuck!

Zack was recalling how breathing worked as Cloud dismantled the rifle, put the materia in and reformed it. He inhaled a sharp breath; a memory of the little infantryman Cloud had been, in his mind.

"Damn, I was joking when I proposed that!" Zack said cheerfully but voice still shaking.

Cloud wore a smile not diminished by his distant eyes. Zack started to understand that in this state Cloud had problems with moving his body, but his mind seemed less or not affected. He was gladly surprised when Cloud pulled another materia from his mess of hair then handed it to him. The First used the opportunity to hold Cloud's hand. It was as cold as the ice materia. As solid. As real. If not for the spectators and their dire situation, Zack could have cried all the tears he had in stock.

"I think all the people that mocked your hair should be jealous."

Cloud's lips quirked up. He withdrew his hand. Again Zack tensed all muscles in his hyperactive body not to whimper like the puppy Angeal always compared him to be. He kept his eyes wide open, noticing the position of all the enhanced people. He jumped out of his skin when Cloud stuck the syringe in his thigh.

The silence that followed made Zack jumpy. He grinned, trying to release everyone tension without much success.

"So we're all going out for a walk, uh?"

"Not all of us," Lydia answered.

The SOLDIERs lifted their swords faster than light, Zack made a gesture to calm them but he lost his smile.

"The doc doesn't want to leave, I'm going to die," she continued like nothing happened.

"What?" Essai voiced the SOLDIER group sentiment again.

The renegade Watchers didn't answer as Cloud stood up, his weakness forgotten. They looked at him, waiting for his orders like Zack saw his own men do. Cloud extended his hand, and Dirk threw him the second sword he guarded. Cloud moves where strained but eased as the time passed. He had the same confidence of long time SOLDIER. Although if he survived as a Watcher for two years, he had to be good at fighting.

"How long will it last, doc?"

"Ah! I mixed a bunch of this and that, the stronger the better, right?" the doc said, before crossing Cloud's eyes. "I don't know, ten or twenty minutes, who knows? Not me. You'll have to power trough it."

Cloud whispered but let it slide. Zack wanted to shake the man in hope that he gave of more precise duration.

"Flore, you go to the platforms. Shoot Kevin, not a fatal shot. He needs to ask for help." Dirk laughed and muttered about the irritating voice of the so-called Kevin. "Dirk you kept her back. Lydia-"

Zack assisted to an exchange all in gazes and expressions, he fidgeted, looked around for a sword, sure he shouldn't assist to it.

"I do it consciously. Who should I kill?"

Cloud expired. "The fifth squad."

Lydia nodded, bounced slightly on her feet. She looked as happy as a person running to her death could. Which was making the SOLDIERs uncomfortable.

"You're really ordering one of your inferiors to give her life?" Peter asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

None of the Watchers gave him attention. Zack snitched his sword and was ready for some action.

Cloud punched the doc hard. The man staggered then fell on his ass. On the ground he looked at Cloud with astonished eyes. Like all the others present, except for the Watchers only a bit curious.

"Wha-?" the doc asked.

"Wow, Cloud!" Zack said at the same time.

"Maybe they won't kill you if they believe you didn't help," Cloud answered before muttering. "And it feels good."

Zack eyed the blond, still stunned.

"Play dead," Dirk advised the doc, hitting his legs without much strength. Cloud's lips quirked up then he inspected his party. He nodded, content with what he saw.

"Well, let's mosey."

Zack snorted. Alright, it was his Cloud.

The realisation made him vibrate with energy. He kept a pace identic as Cloud, a step behind since only the blond knew where they went. It was strange to be the one following now, but Zack couldn't be bothered. If he could stick to his Cloud like glue, he was happy.

The First was taken aback by their walk, wich was slow even as they exited the lab and entered a corridor with others people. The non-enhanced didn't look at them. They stared at their feet and moved on. Until the group arrived to the end of the corridor. The entry opened on a large room filled with loud machinery sounds, the center of the bam. It was guarded by a Watcher. Mako eyes glowing in the dark turned to them. He pulled his sword a second too late. Cloud leapt at him in a blur. The force of the blond made the Watcher knock against the wall then fall in a heap on the ground. Not a sound was uttered.

"Now," Cloud ordered.

The SOLDIERs watched as the mutinous Watchers dispersed like a flock of birds. Flore and Dirk all but disappeared on the platforms above the machineries of the dam. Lydia, who was at the end of the group, passed them and continued running out of sight.

"Follow me."

Zack complied with glee. He whooped, jumping after Cloud in the open room. A part of him wondered if he wasn't having some elaborated hallucination. Yet if it was, he would thank all the gods of Gongaga the time spent with his Cloud. He hated the time he was knocked out and dreamed about making out with a malboro.

The enemy's place was in total chaos. Cloud managed to advance without too much resistance.

For the Watchers a guy was shot at one part of the building; a squad was eliminated at another. Nobody knew what was happening exactly. It was a perfect mess for evading SOLDIERs.

"They're escaping!"

… for a little while at least.

Zack found himself fighting only the guys Cloud ignored in his killing path. There wasn't too much enhanced Watchers so the humans were a mere inconvenience for them. Cloud didn't give all of him in those fights, Zack doubted he could with his strange malady kept at bay by a cocktail of unidentified meds. Yet Zack found himself mesmerised by Cloud's movement. The way he held his sword, a bit off, showing it wasn't his normal weapon yet still handle it with experience, moving it in beautiful and deadly circular arc. His feet tapped the ground on a rhythm Zack spent years trying not to forget, fighting a hard battle against time.

Then Cloud stopped, his eyes fixating on Zack before using his sword to open a trapdoor. Under it a wild waterway. He motioned for them to jump in.

"We shouldn't trust him!" Peter shouted. "We're going to freeze outside!"

Zack groaned, "Listen, Peter-"

Two Watchers falling next to them made him tense and mute. Dirk, holding Flore, didn't give him a glance. He ran for the strange exit and jumped.

"Liberty!" he shouted, laughing while Flore screamed.

Zack heard the splash as they entered the water. He nudged against Essai who eyed the exit with a sneer. When Sebastian 'sacrificed' himself for the cause Zack grinned. After that the SOLDIERs all followed their brother in arms' courage. And they were maybe running from Zack's glare. Or the herd of Watchers coming toward them. Looking at the group, they weren't so much thanks to Flore and Lydia's distraction, yet running seemed a good idea.

Following the great example set by Dirk, Zack grabbed Cloud and jumped in the water. A laugh bubbling in his throat as Cloud grabbed him like a cat afraid of water. Too late Zack's remembered his buddy never swam.

.

.


	4. Ch 4

**Four**

.

The water was cold. Cold and powerful. Zack ascended to the surface only by sheer will. He breathed air that froze his lungs. Without his consent his muscles clenched and unclenched. His hold on Cloud slipped as the gurgling water yanked them around. He kept Cloud's forearm in his hand, the blond clutching him in return. Until the waterfall.

Zack would have liked to think he played enough in waterfalls at Gongaga to be prepared. He was wrong. The temperature changed everything. His body didn't respond as easily with the frigid water pushing him around. The current was too strong and broke their hold. Zack managed to maintain his head above the water. He saw the SOLDIERs leaving the water further downstream. Yet he focused on Cloud failing miserably at saving himself. He swam to him, intent on not letting his soulmate die under his watch. Cloud grabbed him like a lifeline and Zack lost his breath at his strength.

Essai's hand helped them get out of the freezing water. Now they had to deal with the freezing wind. But first Zack made sure Cloud was alright. Or as alright as he could be in this situation. He rubbed Cloud's back, waiting for his coughing fit to calm down.

"Damn, it's on my to-do list now. Teach Cloud how to swim. And it's not only because seeing you in a swimsuit would be awesome. It's only a bonus," Zack babbled.

Cloud shook his head and rose on his feet. Zack imitated him, moving from foot to foot. He needed to release his energy.

"Move."

Zack was a bit vexed by the croaked order. Until the renegades started walking at a good pace, followed by Cloud. He was ordering all of them. And it could, or could not, made Zack all hot inside despite his frozen toes.

"W-we can't move like that!" Peter cried, shaking.

Sebastian sighed but started trotting, "At least it'll warm us up a bit."

"That's the spirit!" Zack exclaimed, putting an arm around Peter and dragging him.

Before them Flore handed her rifle to Cloud, who retired the fire materia then cast a low spell on himself and the girl. Dirk shouted about unfair preference but warmed himself with the materia.

"Can you cast the spell on us?" Essai asked.

Dirk glared at them, "Do I look like a fucking humanitarian for you?"

"Hey, we didn't eat or sleep for almost a day now," Peter said.

"Damn, that's hard," Dirk answered, tone mocking. Cloud and Flore snickered, they didn't stop.

"Give it to me. I'll do it," Zack intervened. Dirk glanced at him. "I'm giving it back."

He threw the materia to him but kept his eyes on them as they warmed themselves with a very low spell. Essai and Sebastian refused Zack's help, arguing that they could to it themselves. Dirk retrieved the materia and reassembled the rifle with it.

"We should stop a second to rest," Peter tried.

"You rested in your cell," Dirk said.

"Walk or die," Cloud added, voice monotone.

Zack hit Peter's head, "You're a SOLDIER, not a toddler."

He quackled at Peter's affronted face but accompanied it by tapping him on the shoulder goodnaturedly. He could understand Peter's worry and tiredness. He was feeling the same. But he just had to look at Cloud's spiky head to feel instantly better, full of contained energy. The man was keeping a hard pace, his two buddies eyeing the field of snow with the same attention as Sebastian and Essai. Their presence too was keeping him in check. For Zack, there was no rest for him till they were all safe.

"I'm all for walking for not being caught, but how do we know we're further north?" Sebastain asked.

"Yeah, we should return to Icicle Inn, if we can't find the camp," Zack commented.

"Nine or more miles in this direction," Cloud said, pointing before him. "We'll be there in three hours."

Zack saw Peter open his mouth. He closed it with an audible 'clic' at his superior's glare. Zack smiled, patted the man shoulder and jogged to Cloud. Who was facing the field of snow without blinking. It was shudder inducing. "How can you know?"

Cloud blinked, at Zack's joy. He caught Zack's eyes, "I know this earth."

"Uh, sure. You're a born snow-dweller. But can we have an explanation?"

Cloud blinked anew. He murmured, "Sometimes, I hear whispers."

Zack kept smiling like always, but deep down he was screaming. Cloud's words were perfect for a horror movie. Or in their case, not giving the SOLDIERs the will to follow him. Cloud looked at him, he was pretty sure the boy realised his smile was false.

"Also, our shadow indicates the south is this way."

Zack exhaled. Behind them his men muttered about long forgotten course on this type of situation and how you could orient yourself. Cloud looked at him with a questioning look. Anew Zack thought he would burst into tears at the moment, grabbing Cloud and not letting him go. But he blinked, nodded and blinked even more when Cloud smiled, content. They stayed next to each other, nearly brushing, until Cloud stopped dead on his tracks.

"They're approaching." He looked at his two comrades. "You go, I'll take care of them."

They were going to protest but Zack bet them, "Oh, hell no! I'm not letting you alone!"

"We should all fight."

"Not everyone as a weapon, Essai," Peter muttered.

The wind moving the powder snow covered the sounds around them, but Zack finally heard the boots crushing the snow. He counted ten men and the easiness three had to run around designated them as enhanced people. It was an easy feast compared to earlier and the trap hours before.

"You go. You'll give our position to the camp if needed," Zack ordered his men. "We'll made sure no one follow you."

"But sir," Peter interjected,"How will you find the camp?"

Zack pointed a finger at Cloud and grinned. It was telling enough for his men. Next to him Cloud pointed straight before him.

"Go this way. If you fell lost, send a medium spell in the air. SOLDIER vision should see it with the clear weather. Understood?"

Flore nodded. She jogged away first. Dirk waved at Cloud and caught up to her. The SOLDIERs hesitated a second more. But the approach of the Watchers decided them.

"So, ready to kick some asses?"

Zack and Cloud changed direction and jogged away from their subordinates. They didn't go to far, as they wanted the Watchers to follow them. As Zack thought a moment earlier the fight was easy. Cloud knew how the enhanced men fought and the others Watchers were only humans. For the both of them the group of Watchers was too little to hinder them.

"It's only a group of scouts," Cloud said.

Relieved from a part of his restlessness Zack felt a moment of peace as he looked at Cloud. The wind ruffled his spiky hair, his nose was red from the cold and he still had an air of sickness, but he was there with Zack.

"Did you hear me, Zack?" Cloud asked. He tilted his head to the side, a small smile lifting his lips up.

Zack's heart clenched with joy. He nodded to answer Cloud. The blond grabbed his hand and started running in a completely opposite way as the North. Or Zack thought so. His mind was a mess, and his heart was making feisty moves in his chest. It took him a moment to hear the footsteps from _more_ Watchers coming.

"They won't stay out too long," Cloud commented. "If we reach the camp before the end of the afternoon, we should be okay."

"If we rach the camp we're sure to be okay. So, we're going now?" Zack asked, his breath coming out in tiny puff of smoke. "Then I propose we run faster."

"No."

Cloud, Zack behind him, dipped under a frozen projection created by the wind. Zack didn't see it at first, he was impressed by Cloud and hoped the Watchers would be fooled too. The both of them huddled in the little place, hearts beating fast and strong. They held their breaths. Zack used the time to observe Cloud. The way his eyes now glowed. The little scar above his left brow and his adult face. It was so strange to see a man when he remembered a teenager. Cloud was approaching his eighteen now. Zack could wish him a happy birthday anew.

The lump in Zack's throat threatened to burst. It would till he let go. But he couldn't cry right there. He needed to stay competent and focused. The nagging voice telling him that sounded a lot like Angeal too. He forced himself to look at anything other than Cloud even if he kept his hand in his. To stay assured Cloud was still there. He regained his composure little by little as he kept his focus on the sound of footsteps going away.

"They're gone." He sighed in relief.

Cloud didn't respond, so Zack waited for him. They would resume their march when Cloud wanted. The boy knew the place better. A sigh escaped him, he was more tired than he thought.

"Aren't we going?" He whispered, fighting the urge to yawn. "Cloud, c'mon."

Returning his eyes to Cloud, Zack froze. His first move was to take Cloud's chin and look into his eyes. Empty and glazed like at the enemy's base. His hand trembled, his breath hitched.

"Okay, okay." He glanced around without reasons. "You are okay, I understand that? But you can't talk. Okay. Shit! We still need to move. Okay, I don't understand everything that's happening to you yet, but I won't let you go. I'm taking care of you now."

Zack glanced around again. He swore as he understood he was panicking. Cloud's hand squeezed him. He wouldn't have noticed without his hypervigilance. Zack sighed then nodded to himself. He could do it. Shaking his head to clear his trouble Zack thought about the next step. They couldn't stay there, fortunately they had the ice materia and swords. Although holding both weapons would be hard if he carried Cloud. He mussed about it a second, thinking about which carrying position would be better, before shrugging.

Moving Cloud for let him rest on his back was easy, the blond still had some prehension in his hands and thighs. Zack couldn't remember if the tiny-Cloud in his memory was less heavy than the big Cloudy but he _was_ tiny. Now Cloud was goddamn _tall_. Well, he was average but his dandling legs where awful for walking.

"I could strap them?" He wondered aloud. "Or strap only one. So I can have my hand free if needed."

Cloud groaned in his neck. Zack chuckled and assured him he wouldn't do it.

Zack continued talking as they where passing snow and more snow. He decided he needed to fill Cloud on the series he missed. During the resume of the god-awful romance Angeal was fond of Cloud started groaning again.

"Well, well, I _know_ it's bad. Believe me buddy. But it's so horrible it's funny. Except Angeal don't laugh at it and I can't stay in the same room or I'll end up laughing so hard I'll break a rib. And I don't want to make him sad, y'know?" Cloud tapped his forehead to his neck and groaned. "What buddy?"

Zack stopped dead on his track, scanning the endless white panorama. He readied himself for another fight, but nothing come and Cloud tapped him again.

"Not... south."

"Oh." Zack breathed. He chuckled, his stress going with the wind ruffling his hair. "Hum, then. Which way?"

Cloud tapped him lightly on the right pectoral.

"We are going to the right, right?" He had to ask, Cloud had his arms crossed around him, he could be confused.

His charge grunted and let his right hand fall to his side. Cloud grabbed Zack's shirt and pulled, clearing all possible misunderstanding.

"Thanks buddy." Zack nuzzled against the blond's head. "Don't worry, I'm gonna get you home."

The walk was uneventful, at Zack's relief. Except for the few times he nearly lost them. But Cloud kept watch. If Zack could say that, because the blond wasn't watching anything, yet he still knew where they went.

The wind blew over them, moving the top of the powder snow. Others part of the panorama glinted in tiny rainbow where the snow started to freeze. Zack didn't feel too cold as he walked, but he was worried about Cloud. Being immobile in this temperature wasn't a good thing. The Watchers apparently had the same cut on the clothes budget than SOLDIERs since Cloud only had the thin black top above the camisole. At least it was long-sleeved. Zack still increased his pace.

The sun started to descend when Zack heard the first signs of a big group. He slowed down, listening intently for anything which could tell it was his camp. Yet it was when he finally had a visual that he recognised the place. He whooped and attracted the guards' attention.

ₒₒₒ

"A squad is already looking around, stop pacing around the camp. You're unnerving everyone."

"You should be inside," Angeal answered.

"I know you're mad I came here, but Zack and I were doing fine."

"Until he was kidnapped."

Genesis sniffed, his eyes dropping with sleepiness. He shook himself then shuddered. Angeal felt bad about his own attitude. He did take out his frustration on Genesis by lecturing him more harshly. He was too worried for his ex-mentee. Shaking himself from his mussing he decrossed his arms and draped one over Genesis' shoulder.

"Sirs! Lieutenant Fair is in sight."

Angeal sprinted in the direction the soldier was pointing, clasping him on the shoulder in passing. With his enhancement he saw Zack approaching in a little trot, a big smile on his face.

"Zack!" Angeal clasped the puppy's arm and glanced at his charge. "I hope you know the luck you had, storms start quickly there. And just the nights are hard to survive."

"I know you were worried, but my buddy here is better than a map," Zack didn't stop his jog, he headed for the medical barrack. "I lost us a lot of time, without Cloud I would be turning in a circle. And freezing my feet. You can't imagine how cold they are. I hope I didn't lost one or two toes. Do you think Cloud would love me without my toes?"

Angeal opened the flap of the tent. He followed after his smiling mentee with a more sedated pace. He couldn't quite believe what Zack's men said about their escape.

"This is really Cloud?"

"Yup!"

After that, Angeal stayed in the background as medics took care of Zack and the little blond. The SOLDIERs' eyes kept voyaging from Zack to the unresponsive Watcher. One time he glanced as the two others Watchers at the other end of the tent. They were observing them but kept eating under a Second Class' supervision.

"Well, a big meal and a night of sleep should take care of everything for you." The medic said addressing Zack.

Angeal returned his attention to Zack who was practically bouncing on the bed he was forced to sit on. The puppy pointed to Cloud, on the next bed. The question was clear.

"Him … er, it's quite unconventional. I'm sorry to inform you that he has a grave case of mako poisoning."

"But he's moving and talking!" Zack exclaimed. "Well, not right now but-"

Angeal dropped a hand on his shoulder, Zack stopped talking and turned pleading eyes to him. He squeezed his shoulder and smiled, but it was a sad quirk of the lips.

"I know it's a harsh news. With mako poisoning, we can't do anything more than wait." Angeal inhaled, preparing himself for the last sentence. He didn't want to break Zack's heart but he had to. "You know the rate of recovery is low isn't it, puppy?"

"Damn, don't be so dramatic."

They turned to the Watchers that approached, their meal in hand. The man – Dirk, the reports said – shook his head at them. The SOLDIER behind them caught Angeal's eyes worriedly. He calmed the man with a single gesture.

"He always had mako pulls as long as I can remember. Always walking it off too."

"Normally he spent some time sleeping somewhere safe, at the doc's lab lately," Flore said.

"Safe," Zack groaned, his hand playing with Cloud's hair distractedly. "The man said he experimented on him!"

"Not for a long time," Dirk pointed. "Sky said they were friends. Kind of."

Angeal crossed his arms, frowning. He noticed the slight movements of the duo. The girl moving before the man, keeping him from attacking.

"I doubt someone experienced on would tie an amical relation with their torturer," Angeal commented.

He saw Dirk glance at him with fire in his eyes then wince as Flore stepped on his foot.

"Well, he and the doc had a strange relationship. Maybe Sky liked him because he would explain what was going on with his body."

Flore smiled, trying to defuse the situation. She looked at Zack putting aside a strand of hair from Cloud's forehead. Angeal frowned at the mako blue eyes looking at nothing. It was hard to imagine the guy standing up and recover from that.

"And he helped with the degradation," Dirk commented.

It draw Angeal's attention like fire caught a butterfly, "Degradation?"

"Yeah, lot of us are affected." Flore pulled up her left sleeve revealing a dark patch of skin. "I am."

Angeal reached for her arm, "Can I see?"

"Uh, no. Dirk 's already all tense because of your presence, I don't want him to kill anyone."

The burly commander eyed Dirk who returned him a glare. Angeal addressed him, "I'm your primary target." It wasn't a question, so Dirk didn't answer. Angeal turned to the girl, "What yours?"

"Commander Rapsodos!" she chimed.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself Angeal commented, "He never comes on the battlefield."

"That's why I'm a sniper."

Dirk dug an elbow on her side. She looked sheepish. Yet it didn't lower the worry knotting in Angeal's stomach. He would definitely keep an eye on the girl. Orders were already given to the SOLDIERs and infantryman to monitor the newcomers. They shouldn't be able to lay an eye on Genesis, but Angeal's would be dishonored if he didn't protect his soulmate himself.

He glanced at Zack, his silence made Angeal uncomfortable. Yet he just had to look at the puppy to understand why he was silent. All Zack's focus was on the blond. It was worrying to see the power the sleeping Watcher already had on Zack. It made Angeal tight with worry as they weren't sure the boy was really the one he pretended to be.

Angeal sighed, where were the Turks when you needed them?

"Zack, you should go to sleep. He isn't going to wake up now. You wouldn't want to be falling asleep when _he_ 's waking up, uh?"

Zack looked at Angeal, torn between following his advice or staying a bit longer. He felt bad for manipulating him but it was rapidly washed over by relief when Zack nodded and followed him. Angeal wanted to have him under his supervision for now. He wanted Zack to be in full command of his faculties when facing Cloud again. Must the Lieutenant need to fight against him. It was possibly the darkest turn of event, but someone had to think about it.

Angeal swore to himself must Cloud become an enemy, Zack wouldn't have to fight him if he was there to help.

.

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	5. Ch 5

if you didn't know I'm fucking delighted by the lovely reception this fic has /sarcasm/

anyway, the fic should have 20 chap minimum, good lecture

yukiangel51 : well, thanks. I'm continuing don't worry buddy

* * *

 **Five**

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The center of the tent was overflowing with maps. There was one from their area, one of the dam at his construction and one after his renovation before it was abandoned. They spent the last hour discussing what they should do, who they should sent, if it's was even necessary as the Watchers were surely already off.

Angeal was on the verge of a break down. He had to manage three awful personalities alone. Yet he couldn't blame the two SOLDIERs that choose tactical retreat. Genesis was angry because he was minuted to leave the area the moment relief came by choppers. Sephiroth reacted to Genesis' moodiness by being as moody and finally Zack kept walking like a caged lion. He would approach the tent exit then return to them in hope of finishing the discussion. His constant movement from the exit to the table put Angeal's on his toes. He knew the puppy wanted to leave. He wanted to see his – probable – soulmate.

Angeal tried to subdue Zack's excitement. He tried to make him understand being around Cloud wasn't safe for him. Zack loved Cloud, he couldn't react efficiently if the Watcher decided to stay an enemy and go onto a kill spree. They knew too little about the trio to be complacent.

Although Angeal didn't know when the conversation shifted from the bam to his doubts about Strife. Zack's pacing increased in the last minutes whereas Genesis' and Sephiroth's tension lessened. Now the two of them stayed on their side of the table, observing Zack and Angeal.

"Listen to me puppy."

"I did!" Zack shouted. "I heard whatever you had to say. All your doubts. The fact that Cloud could be a spy. He could try to kill me. Because maybe I'm his primary target! Maybe he's gonna become batshit crazy for whatever reason and try to kill me anyway. Or he's not Cloud. Or only a clone. Maybe the settlement had one of those shitty Number and either Cloud or his chicks are one and Cloud will defend them before he would defend me!"

Zack's voice cracked. He took a sharp breath and crossed his arms, his eyes fell on the ground as the walked the length of the tent for the umpteenth time.

Angeal pressed the base of his nose, "You forget what we saw on Watchers' backs. Their soulmarks..."

Zack stopped pacing, eyes downcast and humid. Angeal knew he hurt his ex-mentee, but he always felt the need to protect the boy, even if Zack thought he was hurting him more.

"Many had scars of their soulmarks ripped off," Sephiroth commented. Angeal breathed with relief.

"Some had traces of the soulmark coming back," Genesis said, crossing his arms. Angeal sighed.

"Look, 'Geal," Zack started, oddly serious for a man so upbeat. "You can order me on a battlefield, but you can't order me about my personal life."

The dark gleam in Zack's eyes and his tone of voice hurt Angeal as much as a physical punch. Everything in Zack's attitude rejected him right now.

"I wasn't trying to," Angeal said.

"Yes, you were," Genesis pipped up. "By the Goddess, you're the first who proposed Zack was Cloud's target. Even when the reports from Zack's squad made it clear Cloud reacted violently at the attack on him. Cloud escaped because he didn't want Zack in the Watchers' den. And we should be happy there wasn't a Number who could stop them. Or the two from AVALANCHE."

Angeal eyelids twitched, he frowned at his lover wearing a smug smirk. That was a low blow.

"Elfé and Shears had not been spotted with the Watcher for more than a year," commented Sephiroth.

"The Watcher group basically cannibalised AVALANCHE; we know they may be part of those Numbers," Genesis groaned. "Hiding or something."

Zack didn't say a word but increased his pacing, holding a hand before his eyes and the other crossed around his middle.

"As I said," Angeal interupted the two. "Maybe one of the three Watcher is a Number. We know nothing of them except the fact _we_ gave them stupid nicknames because they could kill Firsts. Cloud could-"

"I doubt someone prone to..." Sephiroth hesitated. "...mako poisoning relapses, could be anything else than a liability on the terrain. Or gain enough power to become a Number."

The puppy groaned loudly so the Firsts knew he was wound up.

"Zack, we don't even know why he was there. Maybe he was with them willingly."

"Cloud always wanted to be a SOLDIER, not fight ShinRa!"

"You said he didn't pass the first time, maybe he was approached by a Watcher..."

"We knew nothing of them, but we knew about AVALANCHE and the Ravens. Do you think Cloud was stupid enough to be drafted by a group claiming to make you like a SOLDIER. When on top of that he was going to go through the SOLDIER exam in few weeks?"

"Fear can make you do pretty stupid things!"

"Fear can make _you_ say pretty stupid things!" Zack retorted. He shook his head, trying to calm himself. "Look, you can think what you want. I'm not going to stay away from my soulmate."

Zack opened his mouth to continue but yells and sounds of fights froze the Firsts in the tent. Zack jumped out, followed by all of them. Angeal saw three SOLDIERs trying to subdue Cloud. They were rolling and kicking at each others, played by Cloud. The soil walked on by a good number of people was mud that stuck to their body. Angeal had the impression of looking at a group of children bickering and dirtying themselves. Except Cloud's kicks and punches were precise and touched each time. They were made to disable temporarily someone.

A fourth SOLDIERs attacked the blond by surprise by jumping on his back. They rolled on the ground, but the SOLDIER kept his hold and blocked Cloud on the ground. The blond was entirely covered in mud which stuck his hair in forms even more wild if it was possible.

"Hey! Spike! Damn, Frau let him go!" Zack exclaimed. He made a shooing motion at the burly SOLDIERs sitting on the struggling Cloud. "C'mon, don't worry. I take care of him."

The SOLDIER nodded but all the participants of the skirmish hovered around the Watcher.

"Hello, Cloud. Are you better?" Zack asked, leaning over the blond.

Cloud lifted his eyes to meet Zack's. He blinked, "Better."

Angeal couldn't pinpoint if the boy was only repeating Zack's word or answered him. The blond looked completely lost. Which was logical after his mako poisoning.

"Here, buddy, take my hand. I'm pretty sure you're going to have trouble getting out of there without help."

True to Zack's words Cloud barely managed to lift his arm from the sticky mud. Behind him a Second Class tried to free his boot but the pit claimed it in and audible 'pop' letting his foot in the air. Zack pulled his blond from the ground with a laugh. He almost clapped Cloud on the shoulder but retracted himself just before.

Angeal looked at the couple with mixed feelings. He could see Zack's happiness, yet he was prepared for a disaster with the Watcher. As he said to Zack, anything could throw Cloud off. Looking at them, Angeal saw the restraint Zack had, maybe because of his words earlier. The boy didn't touch Cloud more than their joined hand and kept his movements rather slow. In fact Zack forgot all about the others SOLDIERs and kept talking to Cloud with his full attention. Angeal couldn't deny that Cloud gave his full attention to the puppy too. The look of pure wonder was bittersweet. They were in their world.

"Oh, I know!" Zack exclaimed. "Shower! You really need a shower right now buddy. I'll show you the place!"

Zack found Angeal's eyes, he smiled like the devil himself.

"Gonna wash all this."

Angeal sighed, he knew when his fight was over. He lost. At least Zack could confirm the state of Cloud's back and his soulmark with this pretext.

When they passed them Angeal saw the glint in Cloud's eyes. He knew he was right: Cloud was a threat.

"Well, you should have seen it coming," Genesis said in a murmur, glee in his eyes. "You tried to prevent the puppy from approaching his soulmate."

"How would you have reacted if someone did the same to you?" Sephiroth continued. "I would have fought it."

"You would have tore the bitch apart, you mean," Genesis cackled.

Sephiroth nodded then returned to the tent, his coat floating behind him. Genesis gently pushed Angeal's side before retreating after Sephiroth.

ₒₒₒ

Cloud looked around searching for any potential weapons or enemies. It became natural for him when living in the hell pit the Watcher group was. His mind automatically classed Zack as a potential threat. The way he hold himself told of concealed srentght and forced calm. It was never good if a Watcher controlled themselves, it means they were tense and ready to strick.

"Hum, it should be a good size for you, what do you think?"

Zack held a standard white shirt before Cloud, gauging their size by eyesight. The SOLDIER smiled, his face brightening up in a way Cloud knew by heart. A wave of guilt washed over him. He shouldn't be considering his soulmate a threat. Yet since he first woke up in the Watchers' hands, sort out truths from lies was almost impossible. He didn't know if ShinRa was the real enemy. If Sephiroth killed his mother. In fact he was sure of very few things. One being that he couldn't trust his memories or what informations the Watchers fed him.

He wanted to believe this was his Zack, but what did he know of ShinRa capabilities? Maybe it was Zack's clone like one of the numerous clones of Sephiroth's in his delusion of the silver General becoming mad, forcing him to kill him. Most of the time Cloud believed it was the story the Watcher feed him in order that Sephiroth became his primary target. But doubts held tight.

"Well, that will do!" Zack shrugged, deeming it fitting enough, and finished picking up clothes for Cloud.

The place was a communal bathroom but there was some booths for more privacyy. Surely for the people not wanting to expose their soulmark, although he remembered his days as infantryman where him and others just wore the top hiding their marks. The little group were teased for being this prudish until the novelty weared off.

Zack pushed him in one of the booths. He put aside the clothes to stay dry and started stripping.

"Wha-what are you doing?"

"Taking off my clothes?" Zack said, head tilted on the side. "You should do it too."

Cloud nodded but his mind was clumsily catching up. He never thought they would take the shower togheter- _together_. His members still weak after his mako pull, he stripped down to his camisole where the zip didn't agree with his clumsiness. Cloud's heart nearly exploded when Zack's hands automatically found their way to help him. His eyes locked on a point above Zack's head. He didn't think he could manage Zack's touch plus his vision. It was too surreal.

When Zack withdrew his hands Cloud held his defeated sigh.

"Hey," Zack's voice cracked. Cloud lifted his eyes to him right away. "If you tell me not to touch you ever again because you're uncomfortable or- or whatever, I'll do it."

Cloud's heartbeat raced, making his hands quiver.

"Wha-what?"

"You're tense whenever I touch you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Zack continued.

He was serious. Cloud couldn't believe it.

"N-no, it's..." Cloud exhaled and closed his eyes, he couldn't form even one intelligible sentence. His mind was a mess oscillating between a blank noise and half-thoughts. "It's just, too much. Everything is too much. I like when you touch me but you're _here_ when- when… I can't."

Cloud closed his eyes, overwhelmed by shame. That's why he rarely talked except for plans or thoughts he dwelt on for days. He was good when he was angry too, but he couldn't be angry at Zack. Never.

"So, still touching but not too much or I'm going to have a freaking out chocobo on my arms."

Cloud scowled, "Don't call me that."

Somehow they succeeded in undressing themselves without turning their back to each other. Both for different reasons. Cloud had the pervasive thought that someone could take advantage of their vulnerable state for attacking them when Zack worried that one second of inatention would make the blond dissapear like smoke.

The water started running, relieving Cloud of the veil of mud drying on his skin.

"Warm."

Zack chuckled, "SOLDIERs have some advantages, warm showers at the icy hell is one of them. But only for five minutes max."

Cloud sighed, he forced his eyes to focus on Zack even if his mind pulled him in a memory of the same little moment of intimacy, years before. Zack had shorter hair at that time.

"You let your hair grow," Cloud mumbled.

"Uh?" Zack seemed to wake up from his own dream. "Yeah, looks cool, no?"

"No." Cloud's lips quirked up at Zack's shocked expression. "I liked it better short."

"I kinda forgot you had that in common with Sephiroth." Zack said, a breathy laugh escaping him. At Cloud insistent stare he expended. "Sometimes you get honest but, like, in a very blunt way."

Something twisted in Cloud's stomach, "I hurt you?"

"No! It's just hair, Cloud." Zack's hand cupped his cheeks. His smile faltered when Cloud pulled away automatically. Zack breath exited him shakily, "I like it. Either your honest little comments are fucking adorable or can straight up kill anyone. Which is badass. And I like it."

"You're nervous," Cloud realised.

"Obviously! I got you back not a day ago and now I'm taking a shower with you and I'm trying to ask you to show me your soulmark but I'm a chicken!" Zack yelled, his arms threw in the air. He froze as he realised what he said. "Ah."

Cloud blinked. His head was still fuzzy and his limbs seemed so far from him. He took surely way more time than what should be considered normal to turn around, his back to Zack. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He should be looking at Zack's back, protecting him, but he refrained.

Fingers on his skin made him jump and wake up a bit. Zack apologised softly, his hand hovering but not touching anymore. Cloud took an inspiration in hope to calm his hyperactive heart and pressed against the hand. He heard Zack trembling breath as he traced the soulmark. He hummed at the sensation of the warm caress he thought he'd never experience again. The hand didn't stop at his soulmark, it traveled to others scars.

Cloud looked at Zack over his shoulder. Perfectly alive and breathing and _warm_.

"Can I see yours?" Zack frowned then opened his mouth, yet before he could ask Cloud continued. "I … I don't remember it. I kept mine hidden with the camisole and all. The … scientists that could've seen it I … they're dead. Can I see it?"

"Of course."

It looked awfully complex, but Cloud couldn't say if it was standard for a soulmark or if this one was particular. He could remember very little. But he remembered the shimmer impossible to reproduce by any scientists and the way the – _his_ – soulmark looked on Zack. He remembered the familiar old runes spelling his name in old Nibel lined by the white and black wings.

He let his head fall between the tan shoulder blades. Zack turned around and wrapped him in his arms. Cloud felt like he was on the edge of a breakdown. He concentrated on anything which could help him center. Mostly how the water worked on his naked body.

"Zack, we're naked."

"Well, duh." A chuckle escaped Zack and his arms tightened around Cloud. "Never bothered you before."

"It's not- I... we're-" Cloud failed in expressing his thoughts. He sighed at length.

"Our weenies are touching, that's your problem, uh?" Cloud hit his forehead on Zack's shoulder at his teasing. " _That_ never bothered you before. Nor weenies fight for adults."

Cloud burst out laughing. He took away from Zack, "You're dumb."

Zack gasped, playing the offended with a hand on his heart. His indigo eyes big with false surprise. Eyes Cloud remembered seeing lose their mako glow as death took over Zack. The sudden memory made the blond shook. The water on his back wasn't warm anymore but biting cold. The booth's walls felt false, like if Cloud pushed them they would fall on the ground to reveal a certain cliff. A cliff where Zack was dying.

Cloud pushed past Zack and took a towel, forgetting about the clothes. He wanted to leave, sure he would burst into tears any time now. If he did, he'd need a place a bit more safe.

He opened the cubicle's door, only a towel around his hips, and was met with a group of human and enhanced soldiers walking in. They eyed each others, until Zack slipped a finger on the rim of the towel and pulled Cloud inside while closing the door.

"Maybe you should dress before facing the frozen hell."

Cloud scowled at Zack gleeful grin but still followed his advice. Zack choose winter SOLDIER clothes for him, although without the pauldrons and belt. Cloud couldn't care less for the loss; it gave too little defense for it to be useful. Still, wearing the uniform was strange. He remembered an old dream of becoming SOLDIER, but it was like it belonged to someone else. Having a sweater and coat above the base of the uniform made him fell better.

"Now food!" Zack exclaimed.

It caught Cloud's attention like nothing else. He lifted his head to look at Zack searching a trace on his face to show he had heard the dark-haired man just fine.

"Food?"

"Yeah! We're enhanced, we need regular meal to be in top form!"

If the ravenette feed him on top of everything else, Cloud might start revering the ground Zack's walked on, giving him offerings and singing his words of praise. Even if he hated singing.

Zack took Cloud's hand to guide around the camp, smile unwavering. In retrospect, Cloud would make everything for Zack's happiness even without regular meals. Offerings were a good idea. The SOLDIER loved receiving gifts. Or was it just a false memory?

ₒₒₒ

Cloud was even more baffled when Zack brought him back to the medics barrack for a check-up before taking him to a tent where he could sleep. Zack left after that and he tried to sleep, but kept an ear on the two guys outside of the tent. He managed to have little-naps. Yet he spent the most of his time barely grasping reality, staring at the side of the tent and breathing in Zack's smell on the pillow.

He woke up when people entered the tent. He counted three of them. His heart started racing but he kept a steady breathing. It was better if they thought him asleep.

"Be careful."

The calm voice stirred a hole of dark thoughts in him. He tensed, barely breathing and eyes wide open.

"He _saved_ me, Seph," Zack answered. "He won't hurt me. Don't be like Geal."

"Not consciously," the general said. "But nightmares or flash-backs can mess up one's mind."

"That's actually why Zack brought Cloud here," the third person said. "So we could help if... anything went wrong."

The silence strained longer until Sephiroth said, "I apologise for Angeal's comportment. I believe he was more worried than we thought."

"Yeah, it was..." Zack trailed off. "It's nothing. G'night, Seph."

Zack plopped on the mattress without warning. Cloud sprung, sitting in a heartbeat. Zack startled as the other relaxed SOLDIER tensed.

"You weren't sleeping?" Zack breathed. "Uh. Sorry for frightening you."

The weight of his heart in his throat prevented Cloud from answering verbally. He nodded, but didn't move from his position even when Zack let himself fall on his back. The First kicked his boots from his feet and buried himself under the cover.

"I know the bed is tiny but mind if I use you for personal heather tonight?" Zack asked.

Cloud looked at him. His fingers drummed on his tight to release the anxiety in him whereas Zack was relaxed. Cloud's heart jumped again when Zack took his other hand in his.

"Okay, try to sleep a little more, okay? G'night, Spike."

The SOLDIERs sleeping in the tent this night entered one by one, not commenting on Zack sleeping form or the fact Cloud was still sitting without moving an inch. He spent longs minutes fixing Zack's visage in a haze. Until it started worrying him, Zack could be dead. There was too many heartbeat in the tent. Mixing together and confusing Cloud. He couldn't be sure Zack's was okay. Cloud's breath threatened to stay blocked in his throat; he forced the air to come in and out as he moved.

Carefully he put his head on Zack, just above the heart. The steady pulse washed away his anxiety better than anything. He closed his eyes and tightened his hold on Zack's hand who returned the squeeze with a low hum.

Cloud felt safe for the first time in many years. That other SOLDIERs from Zack's squad were sleeping with them in the tent wasn't a big inconvenience for Cloud. One wasn't even sleeping, but feigned it. The blond knew the man was keeping watch in case he attacked Zack. Their will to protect the man was something Cloud could perfectly understand. It even permitted him to let himself go into deeper sleep, knowing that if he woke up during a nightmare and menaced his soulmate, someone would stop him.

It was almost as comforting as Zack's presence.

.

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	6. Ch 6

**such lovely readers, you make me super happy to post each week /yep still sarcasm/**

 **yeah I don't don't why I bother posting here. But for whatever reasons I do it so enjoy till it last**

* * *

 **Ch.06 :**

A recrudescence of movements outside the tent woke up Cloud. He froze, the sensation of the body pressed against his back different from Flore or Dirk. Lydia rarely slept lately. He exhaled as his mind caught up and he recalled where he was. Cloud turned into Zack's arms to face him. Just to be sure.

Zack grumbled in his sleep and his arms clenched harder around Cloud's body. The blond didn't say a word at the slight pain. It was not an inconvenience when it grounded him. The way Zack held him, the pressure of his body against Cloud's, the texture of his skin under Cloud's fingers helped him to stay calm and retrieve his autonomy. Taking back control of his body after a Mako pull was tricky. From one second to the other, either everything overwhelmed him or he was floating away. Zack caged him, but it felt safe and warm. Wonderful. So much it looked like a dream.

In an instant, his heart beat faster, a cold sweat slid down his back. Cloud doubted everything was real. Even Zack's arms seemed like cotton. Sucking in a breath that could've woken up the raven-haired man, Cloud wiggled an arm free. He brushed Zack's cheeks then his nose which made him scrunch it. Cloud smiled at the cute sight then traced his fingertips from the nose to his ear. He buried his hand in the mess of black hair. Was it real? It felt like it was.

Zack's skin was so much warmer than his. He recalled thinking it was a SOLDIER thing due to Mako and hoping his always cold hands would warm up. He wanted them as pleasant for Zack than his soulmate's hands were for him. But they were still cold. Hard and cold. Like growing up in Nilbelheim. Like he had to become to survive. To fight Sephiroth.

Cloud huffed a laugh without joy. Did he fight Sephiroth? As a member of AVALANCHE, maybe not, but he had faint memories of doing it in a Watcher uniform.

"Why did you stop?" Zack mumbled, his words muffled by his pillow. His eyes were still shut.

Amused, Cloud freed his other hands so that he could bury both in the black spikes. He rubbed Zack's skull like he would have done for a dog and an appreciative low hum from Zack recompensed him. He looked ecstatic and was putty in Cloud's hands, like a puppy having a good petting session. Cloud's chest swelled in fondness.

"I didn't sleep this well for years. I love having a personal heater," Zack mumbled. His arms tightened around Cloud as a warm smile spread on his face. "You okay?"

Essai, Sebastian and Peter were in the same tent, awake and listening. Even with great loyalty for Zack, Cloud wasn't going to put his trust in them. He learned at the Watchers that any weakness was an opportunity to attack. Lying was easy. Forgetting the cramps in his stomach, his tension, the strain in his muscles was easy.

"I'm fine. Too pressed though. You take room."

Zack huffed a laugh. He let go of Cloud to stretch. His arms and feet went over the bedframe, he retracted them with a shudder.

"Well, time to rise, soldiers."

Grumbles answered Zack but did nothing to his good mood. Cloud kept his eyes on the man, still unsure about the reality of the moment. When Zack ruffled his hair, and pushed him to move Cloud managed to find the strength to appear normal and not struggling to assure himself he was _here_ with Zack.

The fresh air on his face made him shudder but it felt good. The world could interact with him; he wasn't a ghost passing through things. He closed his eyes and savoured the sensation. Cloud leaned toward Zack when the man grabbed his arm to guide him around, but Zack stopped with an incredulous sound. Cloud opened his eyes for them to fall on a silhouette which made his heart speed up. Next to Cloud, Zack bounced on his heels and waved at the silver haired man. Zack approached the man, still holding on Cloud, mute with stupor and they left Zack's SOLDIERs behind.

"Oh hey, Seph! I forgot to ask yesterday, but why the fuck are you here? I thought you were at Kalm."

Cloud followed Zack's gaze and noticed the surprise on the General's face. Heart racing, Cloud kept his eyes low. He couldn't determine if it was fear or the urge to fight that went up in him. Maybe both. Ignoring the strong presence of the Silver General was his best idea to keep control.

"I came here for you, Zack."

The voice made Cloud whole body shudder in disgust. He inhaled deeply, focussing on the way his lungs expended and the way he stood made his sore muscles in his legs hurt a little. He kept his eyes anywhere till they weren't on Sephiroth and fixated on little details like the way the infantryman in passing limped slightly or the coldness' smell. His eyes stopped roaming around when he saw Dirk, behind him. A SOLDIER stood next to him and they were talking casually. The guardian and the prisoner seemed to be on good terms. Cloud was reassured.

"Lazard send you and Angeal here? He really did that?" Zack asked.

"Don't play dumb, I came on my own."

"I knew befriending you was a good investment!" Zack exclaimed with a laugh on the tips of his lips. "I love you buddy."

Cloud turned toward Zack at the comment. He saw his soulmate hugging Sephiroth. The General seemed awkward as he patted one of Zack's shoulder. Cloud found it so strange he kept staring.

"Sephiroth! Put a damn shirt on or so Goddess help me I'll do it myself!"

Startled, Cloud glanced at the man approaching, read leather floating around him. Behind Genesis came Angeal, a small smile on his lips. Another glance at Sephiroth this time confirmed the man was bare chest except for his ridiculous straps and coat. Cloud's eyes returned to Genesis as he realised he saw something off. The man's right arm was held against his stomach by a medical sling tainted red.

A footstep too heavy on the soil then another one informed Cloud of the attack. Sephiroth's hand flew to Masamune hilt, his eyes setting behind Cloud. Whose mind went haywire. If Sephiroth started attacking, Cloud couldn't protect Zack _and_ Dirk. He turned halfway, crossed Dirk eyes. Hard and cold they were. Until Cloud stuck his leg out. It wasn't just to make him trip. He hit hard enough for Dirk to wince as he stumbled. The idiot fell on the muddy ground. Cloud moved so he was standing on the knife taken from the cantina.

The idiot couldn't kill his target in such a setting. Not that it would have worked another way. Dirk's mission always had been a suicidal one. Like Cloud and Flore.

Cloud thought he made it clear to Dirk, but he was still _trying_.

"Dirk."

Cloud hoped the man would understand all he didn't said: don't engage, keep low, _lie_.

"What? Still no hugs?" Dirk asked as he lifted himself from the ground. "I can verify you're still in one piece. I mean, yesterday you woke up from your pull and where _smashed_ on the ground. I was worried!"

A relieved breath escaped Cloud. From the corner of his vision, he saw that Angeal didn't move, maybe too distracted by something to saw the pathetic attack. He met Sephiroth eyes thought. His blood froze in his veins. He had no weapon, and Zack was between them, he couldn't let him be hurt.

"Interactions between the three of you are restricted," Angeal said. He considered Cloud then Dirk to be sure he was heard. He nodded appreciatively when Dirk back off and returned to his assigned SOLDIER.

Genesis pushed back Angeal and stood before Sephiroth in a threatening manner, "You're putting something on you or I'll find a survival blanket and sew it around you. You're not leaving till you're dressed like a sensible person."

Zack chuckled and Cloud's lips quirked up when Sephiroth came close to pout. He crossed Cloud's eyes before following diligently his soulmates. When they were far enough Zack squatted. Cloud looked at him with confusion until he moved Cloud's boot and took the knife on the ground. Zack's face was stone cold when he looked back at Cloud who felt his heart come to a halt.

"Don't." Zack said between his teeth. "You three are threats for now. Don't look at them, don't acknowledge their presence or everyone will think you care about them and will protect them if they attack. I can't let you do that."

Even if his heart was choking him, Cloud managed to answer Zack. But he still had to look away from the judgment in Zack's eyes.

"Would you?

"Would I have what?"

"Would you have done it? Turned your back on your soldiers? if the Watchers had kept you in..."

"That's not the same-"

"Because Dirk attacked a friend of yours, but what if Peter had attacked Dirk in the dam and you knew he'd been beaten? Would you have let him, do it?"

Only silence answered him for a second. He kept starring at his feet.

"No, and I'm an idiot." Zack answered. "I... I just don't want people to see you as a Watcher. I want them to be friends with you rather than think you'll gut someone for accidentally shoving you. Or if they took the last sandwich at the cafeteria."

The lump in Cloud's throat threatened to burst and made him cry. He did the last one. Or something close to the last one. Food was too important when you didn't eat for days; you didn't have all your mind.

"What if ShinRa think we're too dangerous and need to be imprisoned?" Cloud asked. The moment he saw Zack's eyes he regretted his question. "It's okay. I-"

"Cloud," Zack grabbed his arm. "I'll keep you safe. I-... whatever I have to do for that, I'll do it."

Image of Zack dying on the cliff flashed before Cloud's eyes. He took Zack's hand to centre himself as the man observed him with a worried frown. This Zack never gave his life to keep him safe, but he was talking about doing it and Cloud couldn't bear this idea. Now it was Cloud's turn to keep Zack safe and happy. But could he do so in detriment of Dirk and Flore safety?

"I'll keep them in check." Cloud murmured. "I'll be safe."

Zack seemed to be relaxed by Cloud's words. The blond hoped he could hold them.

ₒₒₒ

Cloud eyed his plat with awe, even if it didn't show on his face. The day before he stuffed as much food he could inside him. He was so sure he wouldn't have another meal so soon. Then he had breakfast. Now a second meal after having done nothing more strenuous than following Zack around as he made idle chat with some infantrymen and SOLDIERs. He went to the radio operator two times to ask about Sephiroth doings out there and dragged Cloud back to the cafeteria after that.

"Are you going to eat?" Zack asked, his mouth full.

It startled Cloud out of his zoning out. He fixed Zack giving the SOLDIER that passed next to him a high-five. Cloud saw the man frowning, close to snarling, but he ignored him for the food. He wasn't craving it, he ate in the morning, but yearned for what this meal entailed. Zack would feed him regularly as he promised.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

Zack looked perturbed by his answer. Cloud blushed, realising he spent so much time answering that Zack moved on.

"Nothing," Cloud mumbled. He took a bite of his military meal to hide his shame. "Can I see Flore and Dirk?"

"I don't know, Cloud. Not everyone is comfortable with having you here... and letting you regroup, even less. The Generals are talking about the three of you."

"Okay, I can see them here?" Cloud asked. "We're surrounded by SOLDIERs and infantrymen."

Zack opened his mouth only to shut it. He ruffled his hair and sighed, thinking for a moment. He eyed the men present in the cafeteria then shrugged.

"Peter, search for the two, let them come."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, he's right." Zack shrugged. "With all of us here they can't do anything."

"But what if it's a trap."

"Yeah, yeah. I still gave you an order, go."

Peter, sat at another table, huffed and glared at the blond before obeying, still unwilling.

"Thank you." Cloud murmured to Zack who smiled back.

All he wanted was to assure himself his two charges were fine. He hadn't the time when he stopped Dirk earlier.

As they walked in, he felt a weight being lifted from his lungs. Their eyes glinted with an easy contentment he never saw in them and they were calm. A strange thing since they were in the enemy's camp. Yet being surrounded by deadly enhanced men wasn't a novelty for them.

"I heard the Holy Trinity want to send us to Midgar," Dirk said in lieu of salutation. "Are you going?"

"I'm going where I can stay with Zack." Cloud answered.

Dirk nodded and sat next, letting the chair between them to Flore.

"I've been thinking about what was the best course. Leaving the military that don't have legitimate control over us or the country. Or risking my luck and staying."

"If we stay, the Watchers won't come after us," Flore continued. "I don't want to end up like Rein. I won't do that to you, Sky."

"Cloud." Zack corrected. He huffed and leaned over the table. "Two questions: why are you calling him Sky and what happened to Rein?"

"Lydia called him that when I came." Dirk said with a shrug.

"I was Mako poisoned," Cloud answered in a low voice. "I couldn't remember who I was, what was my name. But I felt my name was linked to something in the sky. So, Sky it is."

Zack looked shaken to the core. Cloud couldn't understand why; it was just a name. There were far more important things he forgot about.

"When did you remember your name?"

"The first time? I don't know." Cloud said. "It complicated. I forget then remember. I-... When you called me it felt real."

"Oh." Zack stayed silent a second before murmuring. "Did you remember your name in old Nibel?"

Cloud stared at Zack. The memory of the man whispering his name came to him. The name he only had the right to tell his soulmate outside of the family.

"It's the first thing that came back after I stopped thinking I was someone else," Cloud confessed. "Mom said the old Nibel was carved into our bones. Our names are in the old tongue so that we'd never lost it. She's right." Cloud went silent. "She's still alive?"

"Yes," Zack breathed, eyes shining from something else than Mako. "Sometimes I call her. She's very sweet. She even sent me a recipe for her cookies."

Cloud nodded but didn't ask more about his mother. Her mention twisted something in him, bitter memories and sweet ones combined resurfaced. Yet he couldn't stop himself from mouthing her name in old Nibel. Between them the silence lingered, but Cloud wasn't paying attention.

His mother was alive. It matched his thoughts about the world he was in. Sephiroth becoming mad never happened there, only the Watchers and the old AVALANCHE without Barret and Tifa. Cloud still had doubts about others points. Mostly about the Planet and the way the Mako extraction hurt her. He couldn't ask that to Zack. He doubted a SOLDIER, even a First Class, knew about the repercussion of Mako extraction.

"So, Rein," Flore said after the silence started lingering for too long. "Sky- Cloud and him escaped. Except the Watchers caught up. S- Cloud. Cloud, stayed to hold them. He was captured, but Rein ran off for one week. Before he was killed."

"Oh." Zack emitted. He blinked and ruffled his own hair, eyes wide. Witnessing the man being speechless was an experience for Cloud.

Although with his failing memory almost everything was a new experience, he mused.

An infantryman coming their way cut Zack's mutism. He talked about a storm and the Lt. Generals wanting to see him about Sephiroth and his squad still out there. The last information visibly shook Zack. He kept a smile but his legs were bouncing under the table.

"You' okay if I let you with my men, Spike?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

"Good, I can't stay here. We have a bit to do before the storm hit. I'll see you later." Zack ruffled Cloud's hair then walked out.

The blond played with the fork in his hand, worrying his lip. He didn't like seeing Zack this distressed. Yet he couldn't do anything to help him. He didn't remember what he did younger to alleviate dark thoughts from his soulmate. He didn't remember if Zack was even sad ever.

Cloud finished his meal then decided to stay outside in the cold wind. Peter, the one watching him for Zack, muttered about Cloud's stupid plan to force him to go away. Cloud didn't give an ear at the man thoughts. He let the fresh air ruffle his hair and lull him away from his worries.

The camp had a surge in movements when Sephiroth's elite squad returned. Without him. Cloud couldn't stop the surprised chuckle he had when he overheard the men talking to Angeal. It was surreal.

Eyes half-lidded he observed the men come and go in a frenetic dance that went faster as the wind picked up. He caught sight of Zack going into the tent where Sephiroth's squad was. The puppy exited with a defeated stance that pulled at Cloud's heart. The blond wondered about this unit: what would they say to explain they lost Sephiroth, ShinRa prized possession, and they might find his frozen body years later?

There was still hope the man would survive. If he found the camp before the storm hit or a cave to hide for the night. Sephiroth was full of Mako which made him capable of handling far worse temperatures than a human. But if he stayed outside during the storm, he was dead, that's for sure.

Cloud let his eyes wander over the mountains. They were encompassed in dark clouds lapping at their feet. In contrast the camp glinted under a perfectly clear sky, but it was a trap. The wind chased away the little clouds only to push the mass of the storm toward them. The only cues of its arrival were the wind and heavy air pressing on their shoulder. It made it hard to breath yet it grounded Cloud. After a Mako pull, he always had trouble to take back control over himself. Limbs were too heavy, too clumsy or so far away Cloud doubted he regained his body and wasn't floating above it.

He hunched over himself at the surge of force from the wind. He blinked, faint whispers from his Mako pull echoing in his head. Lifting his eyes Cloud saw Zack talking with the burly First he could recall a bit. Cloud could walk over Zack and touch him without problem. The idea made him snicker. It was so unbelievable it looked like a dream.

But maybe it was…

He still heard the voices in the Mako more strongly than normal. Maybe everything was a dream, some complicated delusion. Exactly like the story of Sephiroth insanity and the bloody path he made to attain Godhood. Maybe Cloud would wake up and find a Watcher ready to feed him lies, to validate him in his story.

"Oh hey, Cloud!"

The blond started at Zack's call. Leaning over him, the man smiled then ruffled his hair.

"Don't stay outside or you'll freeze. Look your nose is already red."

Zack pinched his nose and chuckled at Cloud's expression. He shooed him away then returned to the Lt. General gazing at them. With a sigh Cloud followed Zack's gentle order at Peter obvious happiness.

They returned to the tent allowed to Zack's squad. Peter dropped on his bed while Cloud stayed on his feet, looking around like he didn't come the night before. It was so strange for him. For years, he believed ShinRa was to be destroyed, his hatred focusing on Sephiroth and Hojo. Yet he never felt so safe than right here even with Peter ready to strick. He did doubt the lies the Watchers gave him, but he had no proofs, only the will to flee a group taking advantage of him. Cloud didn't know where reality started.

What a weird dream he was having.

His eyes caught the shape of emergencies backpacks neatly tucked under the beds. Finding Sephiroth would be easy. Killing him would be another story. Sephiroth was suffering hypothermia now. It was certain. Cloud wasn't going to have a better opportunity to strick.

Cloud moved before the SOLDIER reacted. He grabbed Peter. Rolled on the ground and blocked Peter's throat under his arm. The SOLDIER deprived of oxygen fell unconscious without a word. Cloud left the tent unnoticed.

.

.


	7. Ch 7

Thanks to the one who reviewed :)

* * *

 **Seven**

.

Sephiroth inhaled, the sharp icy air made his lungs prickle. He lifted his scarf to hide the lower part of his face, passing through it the air was easier to breath. Earlier Genesis bullied him into getting a warmer coat and at least a scarf. Looking at the sky, the man corrected himself, not _earlier_ , but this morning. Now the sun was setting. Not that it could have pierced the frosty fog. He couldn't even see the tip of Masamune. Sephiroth relied on his good internal clock to affirm the time.

Flicking the weapon around he removed the monster's blood covering it. He hesitated to send his precious sword away but decided against it. More monsters could come.

Sephiroth started walking again. When he'll return to the camp Genesis would lecture him in not caving to his demand to wear more fitting clothing. Then it would be Angeal. But what he wore would have been enough for the short trip to the bam. Except after exiting the empty place they were assailed by monsters as the storm descended and he lost his troop. He thought he was not long behind, protecting their back, but he fooled himself.

His sharp hearing picked up the sound of footsteps on the snow. He stopped dead on his track and scanned the area, gripping his sword tight. Coming from behind him he saw a silhouette. It was human, but Sephiroth couldn't choose between making his presence know to the person or risk they pass him and die out there. He couldn't ignore the option the man was out there to kill him. Except the person chose for him.

Mako blue eyes peered at him from afar, two beacons on a humanoid silhouette. Until the fog cleared a few seconds, letting him see a face shielded by a hood and a scarf that didn't hide the killer intent into the man's eyes.

Sephiroth's grip on Masamune tightened. As he could see the man hands were free but maybe he had a weapon on the ready. None of them moved for a long time till the fire in the mako blue eyes flew away.

"Follow me!" the man shouted, the wind muffling his voice.

Sephiroth decided not to move. He preferred building himself a shelter right there on the monsters' territory than following the unknown man. Didn't Angeal say kids shouldn't follow or obey unknown people? He was certainly not a kid but the same advice applied to him in this situation.

The stranger finally moved, his fingers brushing against Masamune's blade. He retired the lower half of his clothes, revealing a face Sephiroth knew, but still didn't thrust.

"You're coming, now." Zack's soulmate said before grabbing his hand.

Sephiroth jerked it away only for the blond to hold it more strongly. His bones grinded against each others but not a sound escaped his dry lips. The man's hand was warm against his, somehow it was more painful than the iron grip.

"C'mon, you've been out too long."

The man tugged on his hand to force him to follow, with a tremble in his arm Sephiroth found himself trailing after the man. He wondered about his willingness and how the blond could orient himself into this storm, yet uttered no words, his mouth shut to avoid the demeaning clatter it would do. Although he wasn't sure his... _guide_ would hear him above his own string of uninterrupted mutterings.

Sephiroth was surprised to see the mountainside appear under his eyes. Zack's soulmate let his fingers trail over the rocks like they touched Masamune earlier, with a hint of awe mixed to fear as it opened on a wide entry. Which was something Sephiroth wouldn't expect from someone that found a cave for the night.

"There is dragons inside."

"Dragons," Sephiroth repeated. He sighed, he was so exhausted. But he had to slice them.

"There a cave a bit farther, do you think you can do it?" The blond looked over Sephiroth and grunted. "You sure as hell can't fight the dragons."

Without letting Sephiroth talk he pulled him, still holding his hand from earlier, and they made their way to the second cave. It was smaller. Way smaller. It necessitated that they crawl on the layer of snow to enter. At least it protected the interior from the strength of the wind, but their feet were blown on. It was so dark even their enhanced senses where little help and Sephiroth knocked his head on the top. He ended up hunched over in a very uncomfortable position.

Sephiroth looked at the little blond tapping his feet on the ground, crunching something at the same time, but ignoring it as he rummaged into his backpack. He found a torch and scanned the area with it.

"Well, it's little but not much more than a camping tent."

Silence returned and stayed between them. Sephiroth couldn't remember the man's name. It was a first for him. Genesis was always competing to see which one knew the more employees' names in the Tower. He always won. Yet his mind has drawn to a blank about the blond. Something related to the sky he remembered. Genesis said it was stupid. Bird? Sky? Blue? Storm?

"Cloud."

The blond turned to him. Sephiroth closed his eyes a second longer than a blink as he realised he talked out loud. He'd just remembered the boy's name. Cloud didn't comment on it. He crouched down, sweeping away some bones and rummaged again in the backpack.

"Put your coat on the ground and sit there. Remove any wet clothes." Cloud ordered as he pulled out a flask from under his coat. "I don't have a lot of cool water but I can do more."

Sephiroth crouched face to the blond. It was far more comfortable.

"Are you under the impression I have hypothermia? If so I can assure you I'm fine."

Cloud pulled out slowly the stove and gas from the bag; his eyes didn't left Sephiroth's.

"Did you hear yourself speak? Your words are slurred. Plus, you're shivering."

"Only slightly," Sephiroth said. "You're shaking more."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know it was a competition. Now sit down and remove your clothes," Cloud groaned before sighing. "At least your coat and your boots."

Cloud took the pot, menaced him with it then worked on finding snow that hadn't been walked on by them. Sephiroth hesitated to follow Cloud's order, but he was exhausted and the ground was cold. Laying his coat on it wasn't stupid. He hesitated longer with his boots, was it a scheme to slow him down in case of pursuit? Or just to hold him there? If so the blond would be surprised.

Returning, Cloud shoved the water flask in his hands. Looking at them, Sephiroth could see the tremor he shouldn't have. Hojo trained him not to show weakness even when terrified. He wasn't terrified right now. His hands were still pale and shaky.

"Drink, now."

Sephiroth nodded, he was too tired to argument with the little Watcher face to him. Cloud threw him the emergency cover then tried to find something Sephiroth didn't catch in Cloud's mumbles. He wrapped himself in the cover, eyes dropping, but managed to take off his boots. They weren't comfortable, too wet and cold.

"There's no matches." Cloud said, voice blank. Sephiroth observed him as he eyed the stove, like his anger alone could light it up. The blond was trembling from head to toes. His hands clenched and unclenched. As a way to warm them, Sephiroth thought.

The general sipped on the water, rubbing his toes under the blanket. Then he grabbed his fire materia. "I will do it."

Cloud looked up. Moving faster than Sephiroth, he snatched the materia from his hand. The general stood, ready to fight, only to knock himself on the roof. He cursed and jerked away when a hand touched his arm. Sephiroth drew a shaking breath and eyed the blond with the materia.

"We only need a sparkle. You're too confused to make the spell." They stayed silent until Cloud sat down. He mumbled, "Sorry for frightening you, but _you_ frightened me."

Sephiroth licked his lips, he returned to his coat and observed the man. His shaking body wasn't only due to the cold, but from tension too. He was visibly trying to calm himself before doing the spell. Sephiroth frowned.

"I wasn't frightened. But I'm sorry I made you panic." Cloud snorted at his apology. "Although I doubt a Watcher know how to use materia in such a precise way."

Cloud looked blankly at him. A sparkle jumped on the stove. It was a good answer, Sephiroth decided. He stayed cocooned in his blanket even if the wind swept at their feet and observed the blond as he dug out rations bars that he threw at him without kindness. The materia too.

Removing his own coat Cloud used it as a makeshift screen in order to stop the wind. Then he plopped on the far end of Sephiroth's coat. He glared at him, challenging him from removing him. When the general didn't seem to shoo him away Cloud nodded then started munching on his own military ration, a frown constantly on his face as he kept watch of the melting snow.

Sephiroth finally acknowledged he wasn't good, not a second did he find the situation he was on strange. Or strange enough for him to do something against it.

He was taken care by a Watcher.

"How did you find me?"

"Luck?"

Sephiroth frowned. Cloud moved farther and sat at the very edge of the coat. He tucked his knees under his chin and rubbed his hands.

"Uh, it's a family thing."

It was evident that Cloud didn't want to talk anymore. Unfortunately for the blond Sephiroth's curiosity was a nagging thing.

"Why did you come then?"

Cloud opened his mouth only for it to snap shut. He glanced at Sephiroth before answering, "I'm doing that for Zack."

"Why?"

"He was freaking out about your absence," Cloud mumbled, head on his knee. "I just... need him to be okay. For that he has to have you back apparently."

The silence stretched between them. Zack evocation seemed to have put Cloud into a melancholic state. Sephiroth eyed the backpack then the gears Cloud pulled off the bag. It was ShinRa material. Which was logical since Cloud came from the camp.

"I'm sure he his freaking out about your disappearance too," Sephiroth remarked, hoping to be supportive. "He may be searching for us in this blizzard."

Cloud's head jerked back, he fixed Sephiroth as his face morphed into confusion then horror.

"You should stop talking. I'm starting to regret not killing you," Cloud growled.

Sephiroth's eyes twitched as his hand on the materia. He evened his breath and forced himself to relax. Attacking Cloud now wasn't the best course. He wasn't restored enough and needed all the rest he could have. Though, this night he wouldn't slept may the Watcher try something.

Outside the fiery of the storm prevented him from leaving the place. Not physically, but Sephiroth was reluctant to go outside anew. He preferred to stay snuggled up in the austere place. Even if he had a Watcher next to him.

Cloud kept melting snow until his water flask was full again. Then he turned off the stove and let his head fall on his knees. He stayed still so long the general believed him asleep. Sephiroth moved silently. He wasn't half standing that Cloud opened his eyes and fixed him.

Sephiroth felt the urge to lie, "I'm looking at the state of the storm."

"I'm pretty sure you can hear it's still here."

Cloud smiled, an easy motion that took Sephiroth by surprise.

"What? Do you think I'm holding you hostage?"

The blond laughed then shook his head, mirth radiating from him.

"I told you, I'm saving you for Zack."

"You also told me you regretted not killing me," Sephiroth recalled him. He inhaled and returned to his place, not seeing the blond as a menace anymore. Cloud was too relaxed, his anger had left him.

"The Watchers made you my primary target," Cloud confessed, rubbing his hands and feet together. "I think not following their order is a good 'fuck you'."

"Genesis would agree," Sephiroth said softly.

"And you're still important for Zack," Cloud muttered.

Sephiroth found himself glad for Zack's friendship like he never had before. Now warm, feed and hydrated he could realise how bad he had been when Cloud found him. He wouldn't have went down without a good fight, but killing Cloud might have killed him in return. He remembered enough Watchers risking their lives only to hurt him for it not to be an option.

The General eyed the blond for the following minutes. He wasn't sure how to feel about the man. Cloud went out of the camp to kill him, but changed his mind. Did it warrant fear or gratitude? Sephiroth didn't know. But on the moment he felt pity for the shivering blond.

"You are cold," Sephiroth remarked.

"You're hogging the blanket, and my coat keeps the place isolated."

The General nodded and lifted his right arm. Cloud fixed him without moving for a long second.

"Are you … offering me to _cuddle_ with you?" Cloud choked on his words.

"Sharing body heat," he corrected. "I doubt Zack would consider me his friend if I let you freeze when you helped me."

Cloud rubbed his foot on the edge of the coat, eyes downcast as he mumbled, "Good point. But I don't like... touching people."

"Me neither."

They eyed each other in silence then Cloud sighed loudly.

"For Zack then."

Cloud was much smaller than Genesis or Angeal. He stayed curled on himself, only pressing his side to Sephiroth but the General found that he appreciated it nonetheless in such a situation.

ₒₒₒ

In the morning the storm wasn't diminished but Cloud stepped outside despite the absence of visibility. Sephiroth understood Zack's comment about Cloud being a map. The blond guided them with the same ease than the day before in the heavy fog. In better shape, the General could notice how weird it was.

When he asked Cloud about his way of orienting himself, his answer didn't give any relief to Sephiroth.

"I found you. I can find Zack. Or a big group of people. But I prefer Zack."

Then Cloud made his mother chocobo toward him, who was apparently his primary target, and watched as Sephiroth was feed and hydrated. Before Cloud, only his own soulmates and Zack were so direct in their attempt to care for him. Sephiroth found that Cloud fitted the original tale of the Watchers more than anyone.

Sephiroth learnt everything he could on the Watchers and their ties to the Wutaiian Empire and why the later didn't support the former, even informally. The Turks found out in fact.

Watcher was a bad translation of the original name of the group in old Wutaienese. A more close signification would have been Guardian, and it was apparently the inadequate naming of the group and their methods that angered the Wutaiian. The Guardians of Gaia, a mythological clan from whom the Watcher' group title was derived was very important for the Wutaiian. Desecrating their name by using the same methods as the enemy separated the fallen Empire from the Watchers.

There was not a lot on the original Guardians, except that they weren't Wutaiian, lived in a mountain and were thought to be a peaceful clan that abandoned something of great value and pledged to protect what might be a cave. Sephiroth never understood the reverence the Wutaiian had for the logically extinct clan they only encountered once in their exploration centuries before.

Hojo even thought they might be Cetras but no trace of them using the distinctive Cetra powers could confirm the theory.

Cloud corresponded to their description: fair skinned, never lost whenever they where and the eyes of a predator but choosing kindness over hostility. Although the last one could be challenged, Cloud seemed to care for him for Zack and out of spite toward the Watchers, not by pure generosity.

Cloud hummed, pulling Sephiroth from his mussing. During their walk the storm did calm down, clearing their field of vision. The General creased his eyes and identified the black mass in the distance as their camp.

The guards touring the camp saw them in return and informed others. In no time the camp was bustling with movements and people. The duo kept walking in a sedated pace, not pressed now that they were in sight of the camp.

Sephiroth's curiosity was poked when Cloud let his backpack fall on the ground then put his arms in the air. The guards clearly saw the blond with him, they weren't menacing him.

"What are you doing?"

Cloud caught his eyes a second, looking surprised.

"Uh. I don't know?"

An awful screech was heard. The both of them startled. Zack hurtled toward them, the evil shriek coming from him. Sephiroth prepared himself for a tackle-hug, a small smile lifting his lips at the prospect. It was a shock to see Zack grab the petite blond by the waist and hug him tight. Sephiroth convinced himself he was only surprised and not disappointed. He breathed deeply to unknot the heaviness around his throat.

"I was so worried! I thought you ran away! But you just found Sephiroth and brought him back!"

"I'm sorry, Zack," Cloud mumbled, holding the man in return, his feet dandling in the air. "I wasn't thinking, just moving."

"I'm not a mere dog who lost itself," Sephiroth said curtly.

Zack turned his head from the blond neck and looked at him with humid eyes. Sephiroth looked away, feeling bad.

"You still were lost."

He let Cloud fall on his feet but kept an arm around his waist. Sephiroth didn't see coming the one-armed hug that pressed him to Cloud and Zack. He was surprised but being second was better than being ignored by Zack. Sephiroth looked around to see if they were observed and tensed as he saw all the SOLDIERs pointing at them. The duo of Lt. Generals approaching didn't help his unease. He couldn't let himself go entirely, but he needed to show Zack he reciprocated the affection. So he patted the puppy on his back.

"I'm hungry, Zack."

The puppy jumped on the comment with a snake vivacity. Cloud exchanged a glance with Sephiroth telling him silently he did that for Zack to let go of him. The General nodded a silent thank you. Yet he longingly eyed the duo as they got away just as Genesis posted himself before Sephiroth.

"Hello Genesis."

"Don't 'hello' me," he hissed. "Do you know how worried we were?"

Sephiroth found the cold hair gave back colours to his fiery lover ready to lecture him. He looked at Angeal and found no help there. His eyes trailed to Zack and Cloud's backs. He should have said he was hungry too.

.

.

* * *

 **NDA** : a tendinitis which healed then a blocked nerve on the same hand make it difficult to use this week. Like, did you ever try to do your daily life with one hand? At least I'm ambidextrous... it's already hard to write with one hand I can't believe what it would be if I was a complet righty

anyway do you know how to review, people? asking for a friend


	8. Ch 8

maybe I won't be able to post next week, you're warned

* * *

 **Eight**

.

Cloud didn't lose his scowl since the choppers arrival. Not that he had been very upbeat before, but now he had one more reason to glare and look threatening. Flore and Dirk seemed unaffected by his mood, but SOLDIERs eyed him carefully.

"C'mon, don't make this face, Spike," Zack pleaded.

"Then come with me." He knew he sounded childish, but he didn't care.

"I can't," Zack moaned, desperate. "I have to stay here to secure the bam. Angeal's going to Icicle Inn, and Sephiroth is doing Super SOLDIER stuff with his own chopper."

The Silver General merely raised one eyebrow at Zack's glare and thinly veiled jealousy. Cloud crossed his arms more firmly and scowled. For good measure he hit the ground with his boots and glared at it. A Turk leaned against his chopper eyeing Cloud since he got there. The stranger was noting everything and categorised it in his pesky head. Cloud didn't see others Turks and didn't recognise him. Although the Turks he knew and who were included in his mako delusion should be from his time as infantryman. Which was eons ago. Assuming he hadn't invented any people during his fantasy.

Assuming it was a fantasy, he thought to himself.

Cloud's scowl deepened at his thoughts. Zack whimpered, his hands clenching and unclenching toward the blond but not touching him.

"At least for once I'm not the only one punished and sent home," Genesis commented.

"You're not punished," Angeal sighed. "We're trying to protect you. Now everyone stop whining and get on the choppers."

Zack whined, received a glare from Angeal for it and straightened. Cloud wanted to whine too. He was comforted when Zack hold his hands toward him asking for a hug then went for it anyway. Cloud melted in his embrace and hide his face on his shoulder. His scowl changed for as he fought back tears. He was a grown adult both by Nilbelheim and Midgard standards. He could hold his tears.

Except he wasn't in the Watcher and was face to face with his soulmate. It felt wrong to lie to Zack like that. He wrapped his arms around Zack and reciprocated the hug with as much strength as possible without hurting the First. He couldn't say out loud how he wanted to keep Zack next to him, so he hoped being childishly clingy would get the message across.

Cloud retrieved his composure and his frown when Zack pulled away.

"I'll be calling you," Zack said.

"How will you do that if he doesn't have a PHS?" Genesis asked.

Angeal shook his head at Genesis, but the redhead ignored the other SOLDIER. He was sulking.

"It will be settled so you can call him," Angeal said to Zack. "Now, get on the choppers and don't make me repeat a third time."

Genesis huffed and climbed first on one machine. Cloud took advantage of Angeal demanding Dirk and Flore to climb on the other chopper. He hopped on the same as Genesis and sat down next to him under the SOLDIERs baffled eyes. Angeal's opened his mouth but Cloud cut him.

"Do you want three Watchers on one chopper?"

The distrust was still clear on the Lt. General eyes yet Cloud didn't expect Sephiroth to say something.

"He isn't a threat, Angeal. He knows it isn't in his interest to attack someone from ShinRa."

Sephiroth locked eyes with him. The General's intimidation was as subtle as a brick in the face. Though, the man wasn't trying to hide it, Cloud was sure. A mentally stable person should have been scared shitless by Sephiroth threatening them. Instead, Cloud resisted the urge to stick his tongue out. He nodded and kept his face as grave as possible.

Zack pressed Cloud's tight to retrieve his attention as the SOLDIERs coming back home climbed in. He looked pained making Cloud felt guilty for aggravating both of their ache at the separation. He patted his head. Not without cursing himself at his awkwardness.

"I'll be okay, come back soon."

Zack chuckled, "I'll do my best."

"I'll watch him," Genesis added, pulling a smile from Zack.

The pilot warned everyone of the departure as the propeller started in slow motion. Cloud's heart jumped. He convinced himself it was because of the near experience of motion sickness and not the fact he was purposefully letting Zack behind him.

Seated on the edge of the chopper bench, Cloud fixed Zack until he was only a blurb on the ground. At least he didn't have vertigo or nausea. When they were too far for him to even see the edge of the camp Cloud sunk in his seat and crossed his arms.

He was returning to Midgar. On his own free will. Did the sector 7 plate collapsed? Or was it something that only happened in the dream induced by the Mako? And this Reno wouldn't owe him money since it was after... after everything, that he started being on friendly terms with the Turks.

Cloud huffed as he knocked his head against the metal. He shouldn't ask himself that. He should only live in the present and trust what his eyes could see now. Cloud had had years to realise that even if it felt real the events that brought him to AVALANCHE and what he did with them never happened.

He just had to deal with a mind playing tricks on him and making him doubt he wasn't dreaming right now.

"So, why did you choose this chopper?"

The blond turned to the Crimson Commander, which mostly commanded from a desk now. Except when he was running away with a First Class commonly nicknamed Zack the puppy. Cloud's eyes glossed over Genesis' strapped right arm but quickly settled on Genesis' knowing smirk.

"ShinRa won't attack the chopper with you in there."

"Oh? But the other chopper maybe," Genesis nudged.

Cloud smirked, he held Genesis' eyes, "Yeah, but this one wouldn't hold much longer then."

The five others SOLDIERs seated around them tensed, but Genesis smiled and settled more comfortably on his place. He gave a head sign to the Turk.

"I do hope you hadn't in mind firing on the choppers. I think it would be ill advised now."

The Turk didn't answer though his hands were typing rapidly on his PHS. Either to cancel their plan or note his deductions about Cloud's behaviour. Cloud held his gaze when he glanced at the blond. The Turk tipped his head in acknowledgement then sat staring straight before him.

Cloud hadn't his consideration, he did check on the SOLDIERs before they got up in the chopper but now he observed them carefully. He looked a bit longer at Genesis. His memories were vague, like for anyone else that didn't have a great role in his long fantasy, but he also had some insight on him by Flore. Genesis was her primary target, she needed to know his whereabouts although the redhead rarely left the ShinRa Tower, so the informations given to her were sparse. Cloud knew the man was sick, but looking at him made it clear.

Genesis was reading a leather bond book the blond didn't caught the title. But he was holding it with his left hand as his right was strapped in a medical sling tainted red. The hand Cloud saw was blocked in a perpetual claw-like state. The muscles of the wrist were tight, sometimes twitching. It was signs Genesis' hand was impotent. Though it wasn't the only sign of sickness. His skin was pale and gaunt on too thin limbs. Dark circle stood out under his eyes and the mako hue didn't hide the redness in the white of the eyes.

Then Genesis' hair. They were a dark ginger, the coloration was strange for a degrading SOLDIER and it ticked Cloud off. He squinted as he studied the redhead. Inspecting the base of the hairs Cloud could see they were white. He emitted a sound in his throat, satisfied to have found asolution to the mystery.

Genesis huffed, letting his book fall on his lap as he glared at Cloud, "Yes?"

"Is it dye?"

The man was startled, his hand coming toward his hair but falling on his lap before he touched it. Genesis took his book, not giving another glance toward Cloud who saw his jaw clench and the blush on his cheeks, "This is none of your business."

Cloud was taken aback, everyone knew the man was sick, pointing it wasn't such a problem, didn't it? The blond pondered a moment on it, glancing at Genesis every few seconds. Was he Zack's friend? He didn't understand, but he could excuse himself, thought it was strange to do so.

"Sorry, I was curious. Talking about degradation is inevitable in the Watchers. Flore isn't as touchy about it."

"Well, excuse me to be touchy about it!" Genesis snapped.

Cloud panicked, "It's look good on you?"

A SOLDIER snickered as Genesis' eyes bugled, "What? It looks good on me? Degradation looks good on me?"

"Not degradation," Cloud said, he felt like jumping from the chopper right now. With Hel help he could survive the fall. "The dye." He closed his eyes then decided nothing could go worse than that. "Though degradation doesn't seem to bother you. I mean, you're still alive after... years. Your tutelary Deity did help, right?"

Cloud was pretty sure Genesis was going to set the chopper aflame until his last words. The redhead smirked and leaned against the wall.

"You could say that. Although she didn't help me in the way you're thinking of."

The blond nodded then decided not to open his mouth until their arrival. Though he was really curious about the reason the man seemed as healthy as an enhanced man in the early phase of degradation. He couldn't remember exactly the numbers of weeks Lydia had been affected but she wasn't as perky as Genesis. The redhead looked more like Flore who was at the debut.

With no distraction the worry gnawed at his guts without interruption making him nauseated. Or maybe it was motion sickness.

The trip was longer than Cloud expected, but he rarely took choppers to go on mission so he wasn't expert on the question.

When he first saw a glimpse of Midgar, he had mixed feelings about the metallic structure. Dread was one. He could be walking – or flying – to his prison. Why would the highers up in ShinRa accept three Watchers to walk freely on their ground? Confining them was the best option.

ShinRa was also a known enemy. He wasn't going to trust them like he trusted the Watcher at first. They might try to use his flawed mind to manipulate him. They would realise why he was kept away from the four other strongest enhanced Watchers and the scientists, but still surrounded by enough enhanced people they could stop him from running away.

Cloud paused. He should ask Dirk and Flore to hide this particular part about him. For the element of surprise.

Midgar was also where he met AVALANCHE and Aerith in his Mako poisoned fantasy. Even if they were there, they wouldn't be the ones he grew to like, but a lot of memories where connected to the city. Some happy, sad or full of confusion, echoing in the present.

The chaos of feelings made Cloud's stomach lurch. That or the motion sickness.

* * *

Genesis was sick, but he wasn't dead and still had eyes. And a fairly moderate curiosity. Which helped bond with Sephiroth at first. But it wasn't the subject. The subject being Cloud Srife. Infantryman reported K.I.A in 0002 but well alive, with ties still unclear with the group named The Watchers. For all they knew he could be either a Watcher ordered to enter ShinRa or a real renegade.

In all honesty Genesis wouldn't have bothered to look after the blond without some pression. He didn't have the energy for that. But a little something tied him to the blond. Cloud's status was complicated by a secret only the Elite Trinity knew about in the SOLDIER Department: he was Zack's soulmate. And because Genesis had a heart under all his prickles he knew he would be forced to protect Cloud from Shinra, the Turks and everything at Midgar.

After all, during the last year, the trio took care of Zack as much as he did to them during missions or at the Tower. Genesis couldn't count the number of times the boisterous First had been here to be sure Genesis ate or was fine without his soulmates. Genesis had a debt. Maybe more than one.

Although taking care of Cloud promised to be an ordeal.

After the little mishap about degradation, and being honest about it Genesis found it endearing in its awkwardness after his anger calmed down, Cloud had been silent and docile.

They arrived at Midgar and the Watchers plus a SOLDIER for each of them went to Lazard's office, where Tseng and Rufus waited too. Cloud complied with the Turks about participating in an interview-slash-interrogation and give all informations he had about the Watchers. He accepted a surveillance for the time being too and his little chicks followed his lead.

Then Lazard asked a little thing which changed Cloud from a complying human to a carapaced adamantaimai. Genesis was reminisced that Cloud was voluntary trying to be passive and follow orders. Because he was also the guy who wasn't afraid to knock out a SOLDIER, stole part of his supplies and go into a storm to retrieve one person we were asked to kill for – presumably – years.

"We won't go in your labs!"

Lazard eyed his brother whispering with Tseng, but found no help. So he tried to calm the tiny enhanced man, "Understand that-"

"We won't go!" Cloud repeated.

Genesis sighed and leaned in his chair, he wanted to go to sleep. Yet everyone in the piece was tense and ready to jump on their swords. At least he didn't have to warn the boy about the labs; he already had an ingrained fear of them. Which Genesis understood contrary to all the others occupants of the office.

"I think that Lazard want you three to have a check-up," Genesis started, picking Cloud's attention. He eyes Lazard and smirked, "And doctors can move some stairs. Or better: take lifts. Isn't it?"

Lazard pinched his lips together as Cloud observed him then Genesis. Cloud moved his weight from one leg to the other, considering Genesis' words.

"That will be the only option we'll accept."

Cloud stormed off with his chicks on his heels, the SOLDIERs, not moving fast enough to hold them. Genesis chuckled, Cloud promised to exhaust him but he liked it. A bit of action wouldn't do him any harm. Quite the opposite. Genesis did sneak out of the tower to rejoin Zack to do something and not go insane.

The SOLDIERs followed after the ex-Watchers except one, a new Third Class completely lost. Rufus and Tseng exited without a sound, like the shadows they were, and Lazard sent away the poor remaining SOLDIER that didn't know what to do.

"Genesis, I need them to go to the labs."

"You heard them. They don't want."

"You don't want and still goes."

"I don't want to die. Clearly not dying isn't high on their priorities list."

Lazard sighed as he put his head on his joined hands.

"Also you're not allowed near any of the... ex-Watchers without any SOLDIERs in proximity. I promised Angeal."

"You what now?" Genesis exclaimed, straightening up on his chair.

"He's worried for you," Lazard said.

"He's paranoiac! They won't do anything to me!"

"Frankly, I'm agreeing with him. You don't seem to think they're dangerous, but the fact is: they're enhanced, you're not and they were enemies not a week ago."

"I'm still enhanced, just sick," Genesis hissed. "If I can't be alone with even one of them, they won't trust me and you can say bye bye to their trip to the labs."

"Genesis, we need them to go for you, like for themselves. Apparently the girl is degrading too, which mean their enhancements are flawed, maybe in the same manner as you. More subjects mean-"

"I know how studies works! I spend half my life under scientists and medics' hands! I learned something during this time." Genesis stood, reckless energy pouring in even if he still felt like taking a three days nap. He easily lied, "I'll see what I can do. But think about the stupid restraint you're giving me a bit more!"

"Gen-!"

The redhead didn't hear the last of his name; he was already down the hall, fuming with irritation. Angeal did something really shitty. The problem was that it didn't affect only Genesis. He was accustomed to both of his lovers protectiveness even if Angeal's was more and more important, letting him feel caged. But he could deal, or just ignore and step on Angeal's restrictions.

Angeal telltale put a big 'danger' on Cloud's head and his chicks for all the SOLDIERs to see. Genesis promised to himself, and tacitly to Zack, that he would protect the blond. Being far from him wasn't helping.

Everything would've been much simpler if Zack and Cloud weren't following that stupid cultural mutism on their soulmates' names.

Maybe he could let it slip himself? Or pay one of the Turk for that.

Maybe the problem would be resolved at the end of the Turks interview of the Watchers. They would give files about the basic things to know about each Watchers to all the SOLDIERs. Then they would know Cloud was Zack's soulmate and would be all lovey dovey with the blond. Or at least less hostile.

Genesis returned to their shared apartment and sunk into the couch, his head falling on the soft cushion. He closed his eyes and sighed.

What was wrong with Angeal? Before his departure Genesis talked about his willingness to look at Cloud and gave reasons that Sephiroth approved off. Cloud saved Sephiroth, and he was Zack's soulmate. He was to be secured. Genesis thought both of his lovers approved. Though Lazard only talked about Angeal, Sephiroth wasn't involved. He would not be happy about Angeal's move behind their back. It was a little reassurance for the redhead.

"What's wrong with you sweetheart?"

Hojo had had a fit when he found Angeal was degrading during a check up but couldn't say how the degradation affected him or where the sickness started. Genesis revised all the injuries his lover had those past month. Even the paper cut, because degradation was a bitch and didn't care about the gravity of the wound to start growing from it.

Genesis opened his eyes, struck by the answer. He gripped his right arm as his mind blanked. Angeal had been concussed on a fight, two weeks before Hojo's check up. It was too little to even warrant a cure, but apparently it was enough for degradation roots to settle in and start making damages.

* * *

Cloud eyed the SOLDIER that was assigned as his roommate for the undetermined future. The one that brought him here stepped aside then went back on his heels. Cloud was left whit the helmeted man seated on one of the two beds eating space in the little quarter.

The man retired his helmet to reveal tan skin and pale ginger hair. The man's face was covered in freckles and his smile was easygoing.

"Do you remember me?"

"No," Cloud said.

The man's smile didn't disappear to Cloud's curt answer. He chuckled and nodded, seeming as positive as Zack.

"I'm Kunsel, Zack's best friend," he said, extending his hand. When Cloud didn't move from the entrance, he let it fall on his lap and leaned toward Cloud. "Zack warned me of your return. When an order was put for volunteers to present themselves for a mission of underdetermined length I poked around and found it's was about being a roommate for a Watcher. Being yours was easy."

Cloud moved the mass of his body from one leg to another without saying a word. He didn't like the fact ShinRa employees expected him to sleep alone with a stranger. He should be with Dirk and Flore, watching after them. But they promised to be compliant, as compliant as reasonable, Cloud thought.

"To be honest with you, my goal is to be sure you can sleep soundly. Zack liked- like you very much and I'm doing that for him." Cloud nodded, it was a reason he could get behind. "I'll be protecting you as I can but I have my limits. If you show yourself too hostile..."

He didn't finish his sentence, but his eyes spoke for him. Did Kunsel had tried to be reassuring? He just made Cloud wonder about the reasons why his sleep could have been disrupted and if those reasons could happen to Dirk and Flore.

Cloud lay awake on the bed during all the night. He curled on himself as he realised what he did. He let Zack behind him when he should be watching over his safety then left Flore and Dirk alone in the same manner. He was unreliable. But he didn't let it pull him into a breakdown. He kept all senses turned to the exterior of the bedroom, waiting for a combat to happen.

.

.


	9. Ch 9

NDA: warning: big case of fake science!

* * *

 **Nine**

.

"Still no Turk," Kunsel sighed. He turned around to look at Cloud still sat on the bed he didn't sleep in. Kunsel passed a hand in his hair then nodded to himself. "We'll go to the cafeteria. They'll find us if they really want your interview."

Cloud shrugged, he could go days without food, even with his enhanced body needing more nutrient than a normal human. Maybe a slight hunger was part of the Turk plan for the interrogation. Enhanced people tended to be impulsive and distracted when hungry. The wait let Cloud think about how the interrogation would go, which type of interrogation it would be. The waiting time could have put him on edge if he wasn't so disconnected. Although he was certain the Turk interrogation would be more refined than a Watcher's one. Less physical torture and more mind tricks. Like making them wait to let them stew over the future interrogation and let them be hungry.

If it was a calculated move, a Turk would intercept them before they entered the cafeteria. To frustrate Cloud a bit more.

Though he wasn't going to refuse Kunsel's offer and followed him silently in the corridors. He may have used them in his infrantry days for visiting Zack, but no memories came back to him. The place was too linear and impersonal for him to pinpoint an interesting thing that could trigger his memory.

Memorising the plan of the Tower promised to be hard. It was still necessary in case they needed the safest and fastest way of escaping.

The cafeteria was in the same cold colours as the rest of the building Cloud saw. Steel and plastic were the primary materials which made awful sounds on the linoleum. When he and Kunsel him arrived in the room – unstopped at Cloud surprise – all eyes turned to them in seconds. Recognising Cloud, the SOLDIER's eyes stayed on them. Kunsel didn't seem bothered and went to the queue before the displayed food. Cloud felt out of place and not by his clothes, there was SOLDIERs in casual clothing all around. It was still something he was accustomed to. He was an outsider in the Watchers too.

Looking at the choice of food then his tray, Cloud was torn by indecision. There were too many things for him to choose. Everything made him salivate.

"Are you going to take something?" Kunsel asked, snapping Cloud out of his thoughts.

He nodded and took plat at random, choosing mostly by the colour of the stuffs. He finished with a pale green soup, some pasta and what he hoped was a chocolate dessert. Before they even where seated Flore entered, chatting with a petite blond Turk, a very bored SOLDIER following after them. Flore smiled at Cloud and waved at him with her right hand which was occupied with a small stress ball.

For the following minutes Kunsel and Cloud eat in silence. Well, Cloud at least. Kunsel was talking with passing SOLDIERs or answering his PHS, but he left Cloud tranquil. The blond was glad for this little miracle, he wasn't alone, but he was at ease.

Cloud was halfway in his meal when a Turk approached them, putting an end at Cloud's relaxed state.

"Hey! I needed to see Cloud Strife twenty minutes ago. We agreed to meet at the dormitory."

Kunsel turned to the Turk that just arrived, Cloud didn't know him. The blond consciously ignored the man. He wanted to finish his plat, he wouldn't leave till he had food on his tray.

"You were late, buddy," Kunsel commented. "I was hungry, Cloud was hungry. We decided to go eat and wait for you there."

"Well, I'm here, we can go."

"Not before we finish," Kunsel said then shrugged. Cloud eyed him. Kunsel wasn't the lest intimidated by the Turk next to him. "You don't want enhanced men starving."

"Yeah, you wouldn't want that," the petite Turk pipped up. "You just had to be on time."

Cloud kept is mind on his meal. He was stuffing the more food possible in his mouth without bringing eyes on him. Wich was difficult since the table he shared with Kunsel was the center of attention. He hated that. The only thing he wanted right now was a hiding place where he could ate and sleep without prying eyes. He couldn't, of course, because of one of his fuck-ups. Accepting to be trailed by a Turk and sleep with a SOLDIER in the same place.

Between bites he looked at Flore in front of him, just to be sure she was eating too.

His nose picked up a strange fragrance as the cafeteria doors opened. His eyes fluttered shut for an instant as he inhaled. He knew who carried this perfume. Each time the man was near, memories nagged at his brain.

"Good morning, my dears."

Genesis plopped on a chair next to Cloud, the odour becoming almost too much. He frowned, noticing in the edge of his vision others SOLDIERs pinching their lips but saying nothing. Didn't Genesis have a less noticeable scent at the camp or during their trip in the chopper?

Cloud's eyes fell on Genesis' hand shaking even if put flat on his knee. The logical explanation was that Genesis spilled perfume on himself, the smell becoming overpowering. Frustration build up in Cloud as the odour tugged on his thoughts. He lost himself in his mind, scrapping at this nagging sensation of being within reach of the memory.

"Sir," the Turk tried to catch their attentions.

"Cloud Strife!" Genesis called, poking his nose.

He jumped, clutching the thing in his hand and looked at Genesis chuckling quietly, his memory slipping away. Slowly he released his grip on his fork and set it aside. Genesis's eyes didn't stray from him. The Lt. General seemed worried.

"Just a memory," Cloud said for the redhead. "About the perfume."

Genesis lifted an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Banora apple?"

The memory hit Cloud as hard as the bottle that smashed against him all those years ago. A bubbling laugh, a bit shocked, left him. He lifted his hand to his forehead and stated, "You hit me with a bottle of perfume."

Recognition lightened Genesis' eyes. He huffed, crossed his free arm above the right one and sunk in his chair.

"I was trying to hit Zack," Genesis said, the smile now firmly set on his face. "Although I'm happy I didn't. Angeal would have lectured me for _days_ about hitting a SOLDIER with a bottle of perfume. I'm well aware it would have been hell for enhanced senses, but, like losing a full bottle wasn't devastating already I might had have to take care of _Zack._ So, hitting you was the best scenario."

"I was knocked out, and Zack didn't come near me for three days," Cloud mumbled. "It's awful in the eyes."

"I healed you."

"You didn't apologise."

Genesis furrowed his brows then huffed, "I did!"

"You healed me."

"That what I said."

Silence fell around them as they eyed each others.

"Sir, I need him for his interview," the Turk interjected.

Genesis waved a dismissing hand at him without even glancing toward the poor Turk. All things considered he was holding his composure pretty well for someone under so many SOLDIERs' eyes. At least he kept them from looking at Cloud.

Genesis tried to grab a water bottle on the table but it was on his right side. He moved his right arm instinctively only to be stopped by the red sling. He resorted to his left arm with a frustrated scowl.

"That's the best you can get from him," Kunsel whispered to Cloud.

He was listening from only one ear, the rest of his mind focused on the way Genesis struggled with his hand. After years he should have been mostly a lefty and don't need to remember to use his working hand. Yet Cloud just witnessed the contrary.

It explained why the red head was nowhere on a battle ground those last years. That, and he was an important face of SOLDIER, they weren't going to throw him in a fight he couldn't win like the Watchers so loved to do. ShinRa even found out how to keep him alive which mean they wanted him to stay like that. Or they were experiencing with him in case degradation started on others SOLDIERs, if they already had a medication it'll save the compagny enough money to compensate from keeping Genesis alive all those years. They still didn't spent money on physical therapy or Genesis would be using his left hand without thinking.

Cloud thanked Hel he was ambidextrous.

Genesis gulped his water, not without giving a dark look at his unuseful hand.

"Flore, ball."

Kunsel tensed, ready to leapt at the projectile. Cloud caught it with a smooth move, eyeing the SOLDIER in case he was going to jump on him. But Kunsel relaxed and observed him curiously as he put the ball in Genesis' right hand. The redhead blinked at the object as Cloud arranged his fingers to keep the ball in position. Cloud used the touch to test the strength in the fingers and their response to stimuli. They were fine, even if let unmoving for too long. The blond smiled to himself when Genesis moved his hand to grab the ball more effectively.

"There, you'll use it to muscle your arm."

"My hand is useless," Genesis said blandly before anger rose in his voice. He gripped Cloud's wrist, "Are Watchers all stupid? This is the second time you're talking about degradation like you can't understand what it means. Didn't one of your friend is affected? And you still don't understand how degradation work!"

Cloud blinked at the hissed words. He met Genesis' eyes which sparkled with irritation. The Turk came to fetch Cloud moved, wanting to stop any altercation that could happen. He stopped when Cloud pinned him with a glare.

"Do you?" Cloud asked, returning his attention to Genesis. "Do you know what degradation do to you? Do you know why removing the infected tissues does nothing? Flore, come here."

The teen grunted but stood. She started rolling up her sleeve before being asked. Then she undid the bandage and presented her arm to Genesis. He grimaced at the open wound. Flore moved her fingers, Genesis turned his head away under her laugh. The movements made the muscles shift under the slashed skin darkened by degradation.

"The point is?" Genesis asked. "Except that by displaying your wound like that you're going to push the Science Department to put a hand on you even more."

"The point is, even with pain the integrity of the limb is intact."

"The pain is telling enough about how the limb isn't intact," Genesis answered, leaning toward Cloud so they're face was inches from each others.

"We're full of mako," Cloud sighed. "Things are a bit different for us, that's why there is a Science Department watching over you, SOLDIERs, _with_ the Medical Department. Also, you'll use your arm. After you muscle it again. Because, yes, it's useless now."

Genesis inhaled and exhaled, his breath tickling Cloud's cheek. His eyes bored holes in Cloud as he recited in a hushed tone:

" _I don't listen to monsters I know them and all that they say_

 _I see only beautiful faces_

 _Good faces, sure of themselves_

 _Certain soon to ruin their masters_ *"

Cloud stared at the read head blankly, still keeping the ball in Genesis' hand. The poem was pretty, but what was it saying exactly?

"You say I'm a monster?" Cloud asked, furrowing. Being insulted like that made him uneasy. He breathed, waiting for a response, but cut Genesis as the old religion from Nibelheim came back. It was always bit and pieces, but it was an easy think to remember. His mother talked a lot about the Old Gods and the old way, "If so, you need to know that monsters are Deities' warnings where I come from, not mindless beasts killing for the pleasure of spilling blood. Sometime, they are the one giving the warning orally and disappearing."

Genesis smirked, "Like prophets. Do you think you are one?"

"You recited a poem about monsters. I am one to you?"

"The word monster is used figuratively about someone denatured and unnecessarily cruel in this poem. By that I mean, I think you know nothing about degradation and you are trying to hurt me, either by ignorance or delibaretly."

Cloud spared a thought for the situation he was in. He was having a civil conversation with Genesis Rhapsodos about the sense of 'monster' and a poem. He was defending his point without being attacked on the spot. Though, if he was honest, if Genesis ordered it, the SOLDIERs around them would – try to – trample him. It was... refreshing.

He glanced at the people he could see from his spot and smiled. They were all ears, waiting for a sign from Genesis to attack. Others even looked bored or rolled their eyes like Genesis coming to start such conversations in the cafeteria was common.

"Sky-... Cloud is studying it!" Flore said. "He made Lydia live two months more than the average degrading Watcher."

"You did?" Genesis asked, his interest returning.

Cloud grimaced, Flore gave him an apologetic smile. She was good to keep secrets... when she remembered to keep herself in check.

"I worked with doc on it," Cloud answered. "It was a bit, hum, laborious since I would forget a lot after a mako pull. But I had everything noted." He paused, sparing a thought for the now lost knowledge. "I should have taken the notepads."

When escaping he only thought about Zack. Yet he had a responsibility toward Flore too. Without his notepads his mind was fuzzy about Doc and his theories. The realisation of his fault saddened him. He always found a way to fuck up apparently. Although, the notepads had both his and Doc scrawl, bit and pieces of thinking or even memories. Doc had never said anything about those last texts and writing them helped Cloud remember. Sometimes Doc even had noted in the margins if the specific memory was true or not.

"You know what are the two principals ingredients to form a SOLDIER?" Cloud asked to change his mind from this train of thoughts.

"Just to be clear-" He slid a foot behind Cloud's chair leg. With a swift move he brought Cloud closer so they were face to face. Genesis leaned toward Cloud. "Are you implying you know how to cure degradation?"

"I didn't say I know how, but I was working on it," Cloud answered leaning toward Genesis too.

"Do you need a lab? I surely can force them to give you one."

Cloud shook his head, "It was only theories. Beside I won't go to the labs, I told you. I can't help you. I can't help anyone."

Genesis huffed and sunk in his chair, not releasing Cloud's. The eerie silence was more noticeable without Genesis' voice to covert it up. He glanced around and noticed the stare given by the SOLDIERs. He wasn't being discreet.

Talking about being discreet. Cloud thought Genesis hated talking about his degradation, but he was interrogating him in a room full of people. Plus two Turks.

"So what do you know?"

Cloud sighed, he would have liked to go with the Turk now. He preferred being interviewed with only few people observing him rather than an entire cafeteria. Yet Genesis hungry eyes hold him. The man seemed to crave for any knowledge about his degradation.

"It's like... a constant battle between J-Cells and Mako. Both attach themselves to cells in our body. Except Mako hold on more easily, the J-Cells can lose their hold and degradation happen because they kill the cell when leaving it. Then they wander as unattached cells and cause all sort of problem. It's like cancer, a cancer that make you age too fast." He paused, inhaling. He started missing the notepads more and more now that they had been mentioned. "Sometimes J-Cells are more present than Mako in the body, in this case mutations happen. Yet there a third option..." Cloud trailed off, gripping his left arm.

"It's?"

"Geostigma." Cloud breathed.

"I never heard of it," Genesis said. "What does it do?"

Cloud paused. In this reality, did he ever have geostigma? He couldn't be sure. He recalled seeing his arm darkened by the malady, but was he in a Watcher uniform or the modified First? Maybe he was talking about a malady that didn't exist in reality. The notebooks in doc's lab existed for the sole purpose of helping him remember. He liked his lips, rubbed his knee and glanced around. He was still the center of attention with his explications. "It's rare. Anyway, I told you I can't help."

Genesis grabbed his wrist as he stood. Panic blossomed in Cloud's heart. He grabbed the first sharp thing. His hand stopped the fork a few inches from Genesis' throat. Kunsel's fingers didn't grab Cloud's other wrist, but he felt their brush on his skin. Sounds of abruptly pushed chairs still resonated in the room. Breathing hard Cloud glanced around. He planted the fork in the table and shook his wrist free. Genesis seemed unfazed.

"Anyway, I asked Lazard what he wanted to do about you. He's looking at veteran pensions for you, he'll need to convince Heidegger first. Then, he's unsure about your friends. You should think about a solution before you see him again."

"When?"

A loud hit against the cafeteria door made them froze. They turned to see a redhead Turk, hands in his pockets.

"Yo! Tseng send me. He's losing patience."

"After your interview with the pestering Turks," Genesis answered.

Cloud nodded as the Turk waved at him. He glanced at Flore, caught her eyes and nodded toward the door. He didn't want to let her with a room of SOLDIERS.

"Can you move? We're busy, yo!"

"Reno," Cloud sighed.

"You remember me!" Reno exclaimed. "Woah, it's like, the highest praise for someone that forgot himself!"

Cloud closed his eyes and counted to ten, "You owe me money."

There was a 50% chance Reno really borrowed some cash from him.

Reno gasped loudly then followed Cloud outside, "I see how it is. You're a materialist. Fuck, I thought you were a cool dude. I preferred you dead."

Leaving the tense cafeteria was a blessing. Even more when he caught Flore and Elena exiting before he was too far.

.

.

* * *

well... even with a week more to work on it I still don't like it. It just feel so unnatural. But I practice the new method: 'I don't care slap the chapter on people's faces and run' rather than agonise on the chap for three more weeks.

*Paul Eluard, The human face, I


	10. Ch 10

NDA: me * looking suspiciously at the numbers of subscribers vs numbers of commenters then whispering with saddness *: curse you, follower-bots

also me *lying on the floor, screaming without interruption bc this chapter was even harder than the last and I keep changing it bc I didn't like it until I remembered I wasn't trying to write a Nobel worth book and ascended to a plane of peacefulness*

* * *

 **Ten**

.

Cloud let himself fall in one of the two chairs in the room. Tseng sat across from him and put a folder on the table but didn't open it at first. Cloud looked around, noting Reno and Tseng places then the camera. He sighed as he crossed arms and legs. He purposefully hit the table with a knee to realise it was fixed to the ground. Tseng send him a look that said he knew what Cloud did that for. The blond stared back.

Behing Tseng, Reno leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets and moving an old toothpick with his mouth. He smiled at Cloud when their eyes meet.

"Are you going to ask questions or are we going to look at each others in silence for the next hour?"

Tseng made what could be seen as a smile then crossed his legs, without uttering a word. Cloud's chest expended as irritation swelled in him. He exhaled and let the silence of the room lull him. If the Turk was trying to test is patience he'll bite his fingers. Cloud could spend days without talking. Not moving wasn't a problem either.

He looked up at the ceiling and lost himself in his thoughts.

"Please, state your full name, your age and you lieu of birth."

"Cloud Strife, 18, Nibelheim."

"It this stated in this report witnesses heard Lieutenant Zack Fair and you talk about Old Nibel names. Can you state them?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It's religious. Anyway my name is Cloud Strife outside of my mother home. Why do you need them?"

"To be sure you are who you say you are."

"Well, except from my mom and Zack, nobody could confirm the names. I can say anything I want, if that makes you happy."

Tseng sighed, he closed his eyes longer than for a blink.

"How long were you part of The Watchers?"

"I'm sure you have a more exact date than me."

Tseng breathed, his chest heaving at the movement.

"Please, Cloud, speak your mind."

"I already do. I don't know the date of my disappearance; I can't give you the length of my... stay."

Tseng nodded and choose to drop this question.

"Did you join them voluntarily?"

"No."

"How were you taken?"

"I was abducted."

"When and how?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"I'm sure you're already aware Mako can mess with your memories."

The silence returned, Reno moved his toothpick an inch. Cloud inhaled, bored.

"What are Dirk and Flore for you?"

"We follow the same chocobo riding classes."

Reno's snort woke up Cloud from being on the moon. He breathed silently and resisted the urge to bite his lips at his impulsive response. Tseng didn't seem to have taken ombrage of the answer, he gave a blasé look and crossed his hands on the table.

"Do not make me repeat."

"I don't know, they're not friends."

"Lovers?"

Cloud shuddered, "No."

"Mentees?"

Cloud paused and shrugged one shoulder, "Close enough."

"What is the life in the Watchers?"

"Terrible."

Tseng kept his eyes on Cloud, unwavering. Cloud waited for the next question. In the other reality induced by his mako poisoning he had a conversation with Yuffie about interrogation tactics. Since she had been arrested a bit too much for such a young girl. At least, she always found a way to run away. Her favorite tactic to deal with was when the cop asked questions and stayed silent until the person face to him filled the uncomfortable silence by speaking at length. Which Yuffie loved. She talked and talked and often time managed to give the cop a headache.

Curious, Cloud lifted his head from the crucial observation of his own nails. Was this the true reason for those lengthy silences?

"Can you be more specific?" Tseng asked, his tone clipped.

Cloud's lips quirked up a second but he controlled himself not to smile. He was right. Which was disconcerting. He remembered things that never happened from a crazy future and yet hardly remembered his time as a trooper or at Nibelheim.

"Terrific."

Tseng took a breath. He looked to a point above Cloud's head, and the blond had the certitude Tseng was resisting the urge to roll his eyes. The Turk put his hands on the table, made a sign to Reno and rose. They exited the room under Cloud's curious eyes. Where they going to let him marinate alone until he cracked and became talkative?

"Reno, you're going to ask the questions."

Cloud was surprised to hear Tseng. He thought the room was designed with SOLDIERs enhancement in mind. Although he was at a First level on this domain, the sound-proofing could be only for lower ranking since he still had to listen carefully, focusing on the faint conversation, but he heard all.

"What? Why me? Not that I refuse, but what's your reasoning, yo?"

"Because you resemble Genesis."

There was a pregnant pause where Cloud had to force himself not to emit the sound of disbelief that took him. He couldn't saw any similarities between Reno and Genesis; they didn't give the same signature at all in Cloud's mind.

Reno said in a high-pitched tone, "I swear to Shiva if it's because we're red head, I quit! And Genesis isn't even a natural red head anymore!"

"Reno," Tseng sighed. "I know Rude and Elena tease you too much about it, but there no link with your hair colour. You're both passionate and have a smooth way of moving. When you're not stumbling on your toes."

"And you think it'll help him talk?"

"Reno, you're a good Turk. Make him talk."

"Sure sir, I'll make this little shit spit out his darkest secrets."

Cloud pondered on the conversation. They could be trying to trap him by knowing he could listen. It was a bit convoluted and they didn't say anything remotely important, but Cloud was wary of every action from the Turks. And others people.

Also Reno was right, the only resemblance between him and Genesis was their hair colour and yet it still wasn't truly the same.

They came back, Reno with a spring in his steps.

"So," Cloud started. "You're doing the serious cop and the flippant one?"

"Isn't it the good and bad cop normally?" Reno retorqued.

Cloud shrugged, "I'm not an expert. You tell me."

Reno sprawled on the chair, propped his feet on the table and crossed his hands on his stomach as he started rocking his chair. Behind him, Tseng leaned on the wall, arms crossed and eyes swift.

"Can you describe your life with the all-black dudes? And please give all the gritty details, I love that."

Cloud decided to be less of an asshole.

"There's not so much to say. There was a dichotomy between enhanced and non-enhanced soldiers. We had to fight to have enough food. Or hunt when we could be outside. Sometimes we spent months held inside. And then we'd had to go on missions."

"What were the kind of missions?"

"Fighting against ShinRa troops. Making Mako reactors explodes."

"Explosions, yeah, that's cool, but did you ever fight enhanced people?"

"Obviously."

"Did you kill some?"

"Obviously."

Reno leaned a few centimeters toward Cloud, returning all the chair legs to the ground in an irritating sound.

"You realise SOLDIERs are prized for the company and you are going to pay for any damages done to those precious jewels-dudes?"

Cloud blinked, his mind going fast, "We weren't talking about SOLDIERs."

"C'mon, don't lie! Yes, we were."

"You said enhanced people. You could have been more precise."

Reno leaned back again, considered his words and nodded. He was still on two feet of the chair which tempted Cloud to push Reno's feet enough for him to fall flat on his back.

Reno groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's say you're a bit more stupid than I thought. Now I'll be precise: Did you kill enhanced Watchers?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Dominance fights, fights for food, fights for comfort," Cloud listed before stopping. "Do I need to continue?"

"No, I think I understood the pattern. Fight for anything, uh?." Reno nodded with big movement that made his hair fly in all orientations. "Anyway, there wasn't any authority figure keepng all the Watchers on their toes?" Cloud nodded. "'kay, did you kill SOLDIERs?"

Cloud could lie, it's wasn't like he was against lying. Not in this situation anyway. But he wasn't sure about what Dirk and Flore had said. After leaving Lazard's office the first day, he barely had time to tell them they should restrict all informations about him and his capabilities, especially about his many quarrels with the little group of enhanced Watcher where all the best fighters where gathered. Arguably, Cloud thought the most irritating of the Watchers where in this group.

"It was that or I was killed," Cloud said in a breath. "Is ShinRa going to ask money for compensation?"

"It could," Reno answered. "Before you wallow about your futures debts, can you talk to me about the day your squad was attacked."

Cloud tilted his head and crossed his arms, "I can't remember much." He paused. "The place was tranquil. I don't know why we were here. But the place was tranquil. Still, we advanced with caution." He took another inspiration as he forced himself to fish slippery memories. "There were monsters. Not a big deal, but then there was a blast. I- … I thought-" Images of a ShinRa helicopter flashed before his eyes. He held his breaht then exhaled, classing the memory in a part of his brain. He hoped he would remember it until he could write it. "I was confused by the explosion, and the rest is lost. I can't help you."

Reno hummed without taking his eyes off of Cloud as he rocked his chair. Cloud stopped himself from making his legs jump under the pression and kept the red head gaze. For the first time Cloud felt uneasy under the scrutiny of the Turks, but he couldn't say he saw the ShinRa logo on the chopper. He doubted it himself and saying it out loud could be interpreted as an accusation. A thing ShinRa dealt with swift disappearance if money didn't work first.

An illumination made him grin.

"What ShinRa's going to do to retribute me?"

Reno lost his composure a second then frowned.

"What do you mean, yo?"

"I mean, I was a trooper and I was caught by its enemy, I was tortured to the point of losing my identity and fighting against ShinRa."

"It will be discussed," Tseng interrupted. "Though we need all the informations before that."

Cloud hummed but didn't lost his smile. He wasn't foolish as to think ShinRa would retribute him. It was just to mess with them, even just a bit.

"I understand. Then, what will I receive for all the informations I'm giving you?"

This time again Tseng seemed to be taken aback by Cloud's question. The blond was disappointed, the rumor said Turks could think in advance of all the response their interlocutor could give.

"They are free in exchange for a roof above your materialistic head and food, yo," Reno interjected.

"No, they aren't free," Cloud said in the same tone. "Food and a roof aren't a good payback. Do you think I can't live by myself? Also, if I'm considered M.I.A then I will be paid veterans pension. Food and care are also provided. I know I'm a Watcher too. Yet I helped a group of SOLDIERs survive and I'll be giving you much needed informations."

"Your chicks can give them too, without needing retribution."

"Are you sure?"

Reno moved his awful toothpick to hide his pout. Apparently he wasn't so sure. Tseng wasn't speaking up either which meant they perfectly knew Dirk and Flore had less informations than him. Cloud hoped it would be in their favor. Reno sighed and crossed his arms.

"None of our SOLDIERs said the escape was prepared-"

"It was. Except it wasn't including some lost SOLDIERs."

"None of your chicks talked about paid informations, yo!"

"They don't have a lot to bargain for. We were part of a branch shut of the principal Watchers' group and they never read my notepads."

Reno jumped on the last sentence, "About those notepads. Where were they?"

Cloud blinked, taken by surprise by the sudden interest in those.

"In Doc's lab."

"Where exactly?"

"Doc could tell you that." Cloud paused. "Is he dead?"

"Why are you asking us that, yo?"

"If you didn't find the notepads in the bam, then he's either dead and the others scientists stole his works or he left the bam with it."

Reno made a pout as he thought and played a rhythm on the table by hitting it with his fingers.

"We only found some corpses in the bam. Including a degrading young woman fitting the description made by Lieutenant Zack Fair and his squad."

"Lydia." Cloud evocation made his chest tighten. He had given everything to help her. But even that wasn't enough. The worst had been to witness her lose her will to live. She kept saying that she was willingly to give her life to help them escape. It had been a quiet sort of ideation of death until Cloud could see her reflect on killing herself before the degradation did it. The only thing that stopped her had been the idea suicide would help no one she cared about.

She had been so advenced, Cloud had thought she was beter dead too.

Reno paused in his little music and looked at Cloud with a frown, his smile vanishing.

"That's all? I tell you one of your chick is dead and you nod?"

"She was ready to make this sacrifice."

Reno lifted a brow but said nothing more about Lydia.

"Now can you talk to us about he Numbers?"

"Numbers?" Cloud raised his eyebrows. "Numbers are mathematical objects used to count and measure," Cloud smirked. "I'm sure you heard of it, it starts with 1, 2, 3-"

"You're so funny, look I'm pissing myself laughing," said Reno, rolling his eyes. "The last sympathiser of the Watchers we found understood our nicknames. Apparently they use them too."

"Well... our settlements were always far away from bigger branches. Informations travel poorly between them."

"Well, those dudes kick ass." stated Reno opening the previously forgotten folder and throwing it to Cloud. "Even SOLDIERs Firsts' asses. They're the big guys capable of killing Firsts one on one."

Cloud tilted himself above the table and took a good look at the photographies spread before him. It showed Firsts against enhanced Watchers, thought he only recognised Sephiroth, Angeal and his Zack. He focalised on Sephiroth against a Watcher. A duel wielder. Yet he pointed the one against Angeal first.

"This one I don't know, the sword don't give me hints to identify them. And those... Numbers, change members a lot, because of degradation or good old killing." then he pointed the lance wielder against Zack. "This is Kira."

Cloud leaned back in his chair and pondered giving more infos about those Numbers. He knew them and they didn't change members that much. Only one was often changed, the rest was stable in their positions.

"Hum," sounds of swords clashing echoed in his head. "I know a few dual wielders, but they aren't strong enough for Sephiroth. There was Elio but he changed branch. I dual wield too, sometimes. But I'm no match for Sephiroth."

He wasn't surprised when it picked up the interest of the two Turks. Cloud's heart picked up speed. He ignored it in favour to seem controlled. He was trying to lure them on his strength.

"Oh, really?"

"That's why he was my target. It was a doomed mission. I am just here to serve as an inconvenience until a better fighter than me could take my place. My goal was to hold Sephiroth by all means. Even dying."

Cloud nodded to himself. He had said more than enough about the Watchers to be considered as a cooperating 'prisoner'. He could relax a bit and use his patched memory to look like he couldn't answers others questions.

* * *

Alone in his quiet apartment Genesis glanced through the ex-Watchers' files. He had to give a – metaphorical – arm to the Turks in exchange for it. He sipped his apple juice, giving a melancholic thought to the times he could drink wine without being forcefully stopped by one of his lovers.

He took the last folder; Cloud's.

Sephiroth rubbed off on him. Now he kept the best for the end. In any domain.

Cloud's files were both the best and worse of the trio. It was interesting but also heartbreaking. Cloud had a good position in the Watcher. By that the Turk clarified it meant the blond was strong enough to fight for his food or a place to sleep. Strong enough to protect two younger Watchers and take them under his wing. From what the Turk gathered from the three, Cloud was a mama chocobo. In return his chicks were glued to him and protected him during 'pulls'.

Another interesting thing. Which would attire the Science Department even more. The boy was subject to relapses in mako poisoning. Harmless enough that they referred it as 'something that happen'.

Genesis muttered it to see if it sounded less stupid aloud, "Mako poisoning is something that happen. No need to panic."

It didn't work.

For the redhead it still wasn't the worse thing. Cloud's memory was shredded to pieces. He managed to hide it pretty well in his own interview, but his chicks had been less careful. Plus the Turks spied on the Watchers since their arrival and Cloud said a lot. To him mostly. Genesis could find a tiny bit of him sorry for having contributed to pull answers from the ex-Watcher.

At least the Turks assured the interviews proved the three ex-Watchers were renegades and not spies. Although Genesis could have answered that under a minute, who created such stupid plans to spy on people and hoped they worked? Nobody, that is.

The ex-Watchers talked also about the life in the organisation and Genesis was baffled such a disorganised group could hold it's gound against ShinRa.

He took another mouthful from his drink and put the wine glass on the table. The stress ball offered by Cloud rolled a bit and stopped against notepads Genesis took to make notes. He didn't take any notes. Genesis played with a notepad's corner. He had an idea. It wasn't very safe. But the notepads were little. They could be hidden on someone.

"We'll see later!" he said before falling on his couch and pulling out Loveless.

Only to straighten up and grab the notepads. Genesis knew how it was to be incapable of trusting his own mind. He was more susceptible to bout of emotions than memory loss, but whatever. It counted as the same for him.

He found the blond in the SOLDIER' lounge, huddled in a corner. He clearly was looking at his chicks with the raptness of a mother watching over her kids. It would be funny if not for the tension reigning in the room. Maybe the SOLDIERs reacted to Cloud's tension or the other way around, it didn't change the fact the atmosphere was tense.

Cloud's attention reported on him the instant he stepped on the room. He was wary of him. Genesis grinned, and, maybe, puffed his chest. But he attracted the worried eyes of all his SOLDIERs too. If Cloud was a mama Chocobo, what were the SOLDIERs? Over-eager puppies? Somehow it sounded like an insult to Zack. Although the PuppyTM Angeal took as mentee matured a long time ago. He had to think a new nickname to put in his PHS for Zack's number.

Walking toward Cloud, Genesis pulled out the notepads and scribbled rapidly Zack and his numbers. His mind still half on the nickname for Zack. Or he should just change his analogy with the flock of SOLDIERs. Dogs wanted to please their master, not watch them like he was a prisoner.

Which mean they preferred Angeal. They obeyed him rather than Genesis after all.

Genesis groaned and a frown took place on his face. He stood before a confused blond looking at him. The Lt. General gave him the notepads. The eyes on them irritated him more and more. He thought he learnt to deal with it, but the renewed intensity of their scrutiny grated on his nerves. He wouldn't support that for long each time he wanted to talk to Cloud.

He died to burst them aflame. He wanted them to remember what SOLDIER we had been.

"Here, I don't use them," Genesis all but barked.

Cloud startled but took the notepads, "Okay... thanks?"

Genesis turned around, anger boiling in his veins, "I won't break only because someone looked at me wrong! Go training rather than slouching here! What are you? SOLDIERs or grandmas?"

They jumped on their feet and flew the room. Cloud passed next to Genesis with a more sedated pace. He looked at the redhead with clear confusion written on his face. Genesis felt the urge to explain his outsburst. From the corner of his vision, he saw only Kunsel waiting at the door.

"I hate being observed like a circus freak. I prefer awe to worry," Genesis said. "I'm going to push Lazard around for him to regularise your status here."

Cloud nodded, then followed Kunsel. Genesis smiled at the reverence he saw in the blond's eyes as he got away. Alone, Genesis let escape a trembling breath. Another minute under those eyes and paranoia would have kicked his ass. And him theirs.

.

.


	11. Ch 11

So, I'm not posting the next chapters here bc it's just not worth it for me.

I'm not deleting the work, just not updating anymore

* * *

 **Eleven**

.

When Genesis said Lazard wanted to talk to him after the Turks, Cloud expected a long power struggle between the Head of Department and him. That what he got before Rufus arrived. At Lazard's face, Cloud knew the man wasn't happy to see Rufus. Cloud couldn't decide what to feel. He didn't know enough of the man to understand how his presence would change the game.

Rufus swept away game's pieces to put a totally different one in place.

"So, Lazard looked over for a veteran's pension. Know that Heigheger will throw you under the train. He's going to ask the Turk to do something about you. They won't. Because you're going to be our advisor on all Watchers' matters. Don't you?"

Rufus, leaning against Lazard's desk, waited for an answer.

"Uh ?" Cloud shook himself. "What about Dirk and Flore?"

"Them too."

Cloud's mind raced as he examined the blond and Lazard who had his face in his hands. Rufus ShinRa was the son of the President ShinRa. There had to be a trap.

"Lazard was trying to get you there. But he had to pass by complicated ways because he's a complicated man who wants the best end of the deal. I'm being clear. We want everything we can on the Watchers." Lazard looked at Rufus with disbelief but Rufus keep talking. "Every memory the three of you have, your input about their actual movements and in exchange you'll have access to degradation medicines, though it does not cure it but manage the symptoms, a place to live and a paycheck. What do you think?"

Cloud wanted to be left alone and bug in peace, he couldn't believe the Vice-President was giving him such an opportunity. His mind was flashing him signals of suspicion and urged him to find where the trap was. Yet Lazard had still his head in his hands, he shook it during Rufus' speech.

"When should I give you my answer?"

"Tomo-"

Lazard was cut short by Rufus, "You have one week starting today."

Cloud couldn't help his little grin when Lazard made an annoyed noise from the bottom of his heart, eyes huge with irritation. Rufus was smiling, content with himself. He had the poise of someone knowing he was giving you the best deal and you wouldn't refuse. Who could give a better proposition than the Vice-President of ShinRa? Rufus could be confident as he wanted, nobody proved him wrong.

Though Cloud was still wondering why his – and his chicks – states interested him. Ordering the Turks to obtain those informations by all means was certainly a good alternative rather than paying him with a contract.

"Thank you." The words felt weird on his tongue, thanking two powerful men of ShinRa was surreal. "I will give you my answer soon, then."

He stood awkwardly as he felt so out of place discussing a possible contract, a thing so normal when his life was not. A heartbeat after he straightened to his full height, months of conditioning making him react instinctively so he wasn't looking weak or even tired. The two men nodded, Rufus even shook his hand with a smile before he left. Cloud let his ears pick up the conversation between the two.

"You've ruined it, Rufus. I could have asked way more from him."

"He has nothing, Lazard. What more do you want to ask from him? In the reports it was clear any of them could change their mind and leave the Tower overnight. They left the Watchers; they can leave the Tower."

The only thing Cloud heard from Lazard was a low garble then complainings about the youth of his brother. He still was uneasy, but wasn't panicking, things just seemed wrong. Door handles were too far, lift buttons too spaced out from one another and the ground moved around. The talk couldn't have made him so anxious as to make him feel ill, the only reason for his sudden weakness was his lack of sleep.

Cloud closed his eyes and leaned against the lift wall. SOLDIERs and un-enhanced people entered or exited and their movements were the only reason he remembered to move too. He went for the lounge since his babysitter, Kunsel, should be here.

The day was nearing its end so a lot more SOLDIERs were there. Turks too at Cloud surprise. And not just Elena and Katana who were following Flore and Dirk respectively. Reno should have been around Cloud, yet he was already here with a lot more Turks than the two cited. Drinks and food were present on the table always full in the corner but also on the others were SOLDIERs played card games normally. In fact, all furnitures had been moved to the center of the room were the people gathered and a white screen rolled out. It looked like preparations for a party.

"Cloud!" The call was followed by Kunsel waving at him from the couch he was on. "It's movie night. Help yourself for a drink or food. Also if you want to leave, just tell me."

"Wouldn't you want to stay finish the movie?" Cloud asked.

Kunsel shrugged and talked about having seen this movie too much with Zack then resumed his previous conversation with the red head Turk who wasn't Reno. Reno who was at the buffet, filling his mouth and flirting with another Turk. Not far from them Dirk was doing the same minus flirting. Flore was with Elena and two others Turks, talking in ushed tones.

Cloud wanted nothing more than sleep yet a movie night grew on him. Mostly because Kunsel implied Zack loved this movie for having seen it so much. Participating could let him talk with others SOLDIERs but mostly Dirk and Flore. As he came close to Dirk and the food, nobody stopped him. They were too relaxed for monitoring them, or the Turks were enough for them to dissipate their attention and watch over the trio of ex-Watchers in passing rather than a continued surveillance.

The movie night shared with Turks was a novelty for Cloud, but he approved the heap of drinks and food. With a bit of luck, all those SOLDIERs wouldn't eat everything in half an hour and Cloud could eat later. He liked better eating a little each time but more often.

Without thinking he started scanning the lounge again, noting his 'chicks' emplacements but searching for a certain red head. If Kunsel was occupied and the 'no touching, no talking' was still applied – albeit loosely – for his interaction with Flore and Dirk, he'd like some company.

Reno came close to him, so Cloud took advantage to ask, "Genesis doesn't come?"

"Nope! Now, the guy like sleeping better, yo!" Reno pushed him with his hips so he could reach the plat of mini-pizzas. "What? You're sad? You're already so attached? Wow!"

Cloud sighed, a nice nap without nightmares sounded better than a movie. But he had the bad luck of being incapable to sleep with a person he didn't trust and he was forced to sleep in the same room as Kunsel. If he was a kind guy, Cloud wasn't the trusting type.

He pushed Reno from his path with the same hips blow the red head used. Reno tripped on his own feet and sprawled on the ground, his plate saved from spilling, Cloud took the last chocolate donut the Turk had aimed for. He crossed Reno's eyes, huge with surprise, and smirked as he took a bite of the donut.

"I'm starting to hate you, yo," Reno mouthed.

Rather than fighting over food with Reno, Cloud went to find a place to eat in relative peace. Which became impossible when the first images started being projected on the white screen. People moved around, raising their voices in excitations before someone was forced to shush them. People found seats where they could, next from friends, but Cloud backed away from the main heap of bodies. He found a place against the wall with pillows – army issued, so not very comfortable but better than the ground – and sat with an eye on the movie and another on the exit.

Dirk came to him first, he was an asshole and didn't make friends because of that. Cloud sometimes wondered who he supported the man. He didn't remember who he ended up with him, but he never doubted Dirk loyalty. Dirk was his asshole. Flore was the social butterfly of the trio – quartet before Lydia's suicide – which worried Cloud when in the Watchers. She'd move away too much, risking being snatched in a fight without one of them to help her. Although her heap of acquaintances did help her in this exact situation. Once. After that, the olders three keep an eye on her at any given time. She made quick friends then stripped them of any informations they had on the others branches of the Watchers. Flore was their own little Turk.

Cloud swept away the hand that tried to steal his food. Dirk frowned then settled back against the wall, his shoulder touching Cloud. It was the most he allowed.

The movie was long started when Flore plopped next to them and tried to steal some food from Cloud too. He pinched her arm and made big eyes at her. She made puppy eyes in hope to mellow him, but he protected his food. Also, Zack made better puppy eyes.

With a quick scan of the piece, Cloud saw that nobody paid them too much attention. Most of them dozed of on the nearest shoulder offered.

Flore scowled, crossed her legs and stretched. In the motion she managed to sign in the baby sign language she had from the orphanage that she had no informations. The logical conclusion was that it linked to the 'contracts' Rufus proposed. Then she let her head fall on Cloud's thigh. He sighed but didn't move her as the thought about those contracts.

The movie couldn't hold his attention much more anyway. The first half was already too bad. The girl didn't recognise her own soulmark on the handsome hero. She didn't even need glasses.

If producers wanted to play with the soulmark trope they could use the omerta that existed in Gongaga or Nibelheim rather than making their love interest a pair of breasts with a potato brain. Although the omerta concerned others, you could tell the other soulmarked that you had his mark. That's exactly what Zack did.

The stomach full and with the warmth coming from his two super-human-heater, Cloud soon felt asleep, trusting fully his two friends to wake him up if needed.

.

.

* * *

So, I'm not posting the next chapters here bc it's just not worth it for me. I'm not deleting the work, just not updating


	12. Ch 12

yeah an update. Though there will be no schedule for updates here

* * *

Apart from the Turks' watch, Cloud had to be accompanied by a SOLDIER, which, on the SOLDIERs' floors Cloud was allowed on, was easy. He could walk around without problem. Everyone was always keeping an eye on him. It was both a blessing and a curse. Being watched at each movement made his skin crawl, but it didn't change too much from the Watchers. In those circumstances a SOLDIER couldn't single him out without being seen, too. At first it looked like a good protection; the certainty that another person would intervene if Cloud was in danger. But it was unlucky judging by the quiet hostility SOLDIERs showed him. Yet they wouldn't attack him in groups. He hoped.

A minority were amical with him. Starting by Kunsel and finishing with Genesis.

Dirk and Flore had more luck. It must be said that Dirk loved the kitchen. He spent his life there. The Chef and his team adopted him the day he put a foot in there. Flore was so cozy with the young Turk Elena that she could have been one of their own.

They pointed it to him earlier. Lazard, or Rufus, allowed them to eat together under the watchful SOLDIERs when Dirk made the remark. Knowing he had a different treatment than the two didn't faze Cloud. He preferred to be the center of the SOLDIERs' antipathy rather than his friends. With some time, the SOLDIERs would be accustomed to them and, if not like them, stop quitly insult them or try to bore holes in their heads with furious glares.

He could sustain animosity threw at his head with the subtility of a six foot tall SOLDIER.

He could.

Except he hadn't a pause. At the Watchers' hideout he could find a place to hide and breath. He could go to the doc's lab too and stay remotely tranquil for a bit. At the ShinRa Tower he had the bedroom he shared with Kunsel. Or another SOLDIER when Kunsel had a mission. Which didn't happen for now at Cloud relief. He was too unnerved to let anyone sleep in the same room as him without trusting them first. Not that he slept well anyway. Or slept at all.

Available food but no time out, Cloud thought. He couldn't choose if it was a good exchange from the 'times out but no food' from the Watcher group.

The only way to relieve his frustration and hope to sleep at night, was to exhaust himself. So Cloud spent almost all his day in the gym. It had been graciously open to the ex-Watchers, but not the VHR rooms. Cloud utilised the treadmill the more since nobody wanted him near anything remotely shaped like a sword. At least it let him think. Which, in retrospect, wasn't so good.

In the safe place that was ShinRa – or safer than a Watcher's hideout – Cloud's mind could wander. He remembered bit and pieces about the building he was in. Like the awful military cafeteria he was exempt off as a prisoner in SOLDIERs floors. Or the heap of paperworks. In rooms full of enhanced men, he noticed that SOLDIERs made they boots squeak near non-enhanced to let their presence be known. He didn't know why this was important to him, but it was.

He hadn't been prepared to be followed in the showers one day. Though, he should have been.

Standing under the water he watched the four SOLDIERs entering and dispatching on the showers around him. Each looked at his back, wanting to have a glimpse of his soulmark. Cloud was glad he never lost the habit of keeping the top covering it. His stubborness to keep it started mostly because of the terrible stories of people in town capable of reproducing a design in one look then scam you. After being with Zack he did it to avoid opportunists searching his – and by proxy Zack's – approval or the possible accusations of making his way up by his connections. Or worse: the dreadful fans every First had.

He breathed steadily, they were in the shower, as naked at him – more if counting his top – and didn't hide weapons on themselves. Of course they outnumbered him, but four enhanced men where easy for him. None of them should know how to fight in this kind of space too and Reno waited for him outside. They couldn't try to kill him.

"What, Abe, are you trying to see if he's your soulmate?" one of them joked.

The man made a non-commital noise as Cloud made sure he thoroughly covered his body in soap. His feet firmly planted on the slippery tiles.

"I know my soulmate as they knows me," Cloud commented, his heart beating both by the presence of those men and the translated locution. A poorly translated locution from old Nibel, but with the same connotation.

I am not alone.

"Then why are you here and not with them?" asked a broad man with ash blond hair that ring a bell to Cloud. "You killed them?"

Cloud's breath hitched.

Why are you here?

He gripped the shower handle eliciting a shrieking sound from the bent metal. He forced himself to let go, to breathe. He waited for Zack to come home. Because the man lived for ShinRa and Cloud couldn't ask Zack to change his mind if he couldn't even sort the truths from the lies in his own mind.

Did you kill them?

Rain pouring on him. Soil soaked, taking a reddish hue. So much blood. Lazily flowing from the man on the ground. Blue eyes starring at the sky without seeing it. Blue eyes. Dead eyes.

Cloud swallowed. He moved his right foot. He felt the tiles on his bare skin. The warmth of the water. He wasn't on a cliff. The scene never happened. He was in a shower, already vulnerable. He needed to be present.

Zack's fine.

"Use your brain," he snapped. He changed his mind and cleaned himself from the soap. He wasn't going to fight there and needed to exit now.

Zack's fine.

He turned off the shower and started dressing. He knew he looked like he was running from them. He didn't care. Running was sometimes better than participating in a fight only to prove himself to some guys.

The man he faintly recalled passed another SOLDIER to approach him. Cloud was halfway dressed, he retracted his hand from his boots and stood face to face with the man.

Zack's fine.

"I remember you, you know? Even as an infantryman you were trying to play with Zack. And now it's Genesis."

"Well, I don't remember you and I'm not playing with Genesis. He's the one seeking me out. Not the inverse."

"You gave him false hope."

"I told him I couldn't help him, clean your ears if you think otherwise."

Cloud was dressed, except for his boots. The nasty things with too many laces that forced him to crouch. But no with a SOLDIER coming at him.

"You're such a little shit."

He moved fast. Not fast enough to touch Cloud. Cloud avoided the grab toward his neck. He walked on an untied lace making Cloud stumble. With a trip Cloud sprawled on the wet ground. So much for his confidence in taking four of them. Rather than frightening him, it made his blood boil.

"Luxiere!" Abe shouted in outrage.

The man was distracted a second by Abe. Cloud grabbed Luxiere slack fingers. His opponent startled and tried to free his hand. Cloud used his hold to push the fingers in a bad position. Luxiere yelped, he moved to put less pression on his hand. The movement permitted Cloud to enter his space, grab his elbow, turn it in Luxiere's back and block him. He waited a second, for the man to realise what happened then made him glid on the ground and hit a wall.

Cloud looked at the others SOLDIERs watching with interest and a bit of awe. He went out in a calm pace exteriorly, but seething interiorly.

Zack's fine.

"We can't trust them! He attacked me!" Cloud heard from the showers.

"You did it first, calm down."

Cloud didn't catch the others' comments. He was too far off.

Reno, leaning against a wall, stretched and walked with him. Hands in pockets he seemed unsurprised by Cloud's state.

"You saw them entering. You didn't stop them," Cloud said in a clipped tone.

Zack's fine.

Cloud ignored his too fast heartbeat. The pain it caused in his chest too. Pain was easy to deal with. You just had to keep breathing until it stopped.

"They're dudes drenched in sweat entering the showers. What do you want me to do? If you want a private shower, you need to go to one, yo!"

Zack's fine.

Cloud blinked away the dizziness that clouded his vision. He breathed deeply.

Zack's fine, he thought with more conviction.

He inhaled deeply, retrieving a normal vision.

"Don't play dumb. I thought your presence was to avoid those kind of encounters."

"Nah, dude. I'm here to catch whatever infos you'll throw at me. I can't match in a SOLDIER brawl. If you're worried for yourself say your Zack's soulmate."

"They wouldn't even believe me," Cloud said, a humourless laugh escaping him.

He stopped dead on his track. Then looked at Reno, now few feets farther away. The Turk turned toward him, a questioning look on his face.

"You know?"

"Obviously, we have forms to fill when we find our soulmate, y'know?" Reno shrugged. "I already knew when Zack filled them years ago. We fished everything out to make your profile. Now all the Turks know too."

"And you didn't tell it to anyone?" Cloud asked. It was surprising.

"Zack forced us to stay silent before that, we decided the demand was still applying."

Words seemed too hard to pronounce so Cloud nodded. He followed after Reno, keeping on repeating his mantra without appearing distressed. The Turks' silence was strange, as strange as Rufus and Lazard helping the Watchers. Yet Cloud couldn't find a link between all of them except for the day Rufus and Tseng had been together, but Turks were always near the President' son.

Cloud hated not knowing what exactly was happening.

They arrived to a meeting room. Reno flopped on a chair and composed Zack's number on his own PHS. He put on the loudspeakers then propped his feet on the table.

"Please don't make this conversation boring," Reno said as salutation. "I can give you starters if you want. Like your sexual fantasies, maybe?"

"No thanks, Reno," answered Zack. "Give me, Cloud."

The blond inhaled sharply, Zack was fine. He was talking and living.

"I didn't even prep him, but he's all wet!" Reno chirped.

Zack and Cloud groaned in unison which only made Reno laugh more. Cloud fidgeted with his wet shirt. He felt the notepads under it, tucked in his belt. He cursed silently. He hoped the ink wouldn't bleed. Yet he prepared himself to lose the first inked pages.

They proceeded to ask each others how they were, hiding their worry from Reno and unwilling to adress their shared pain. Which spend his time inserting comments. Some made Cloud smirk, but they only made him more and more irritated by his situation. He would have liked being alone just one minute. One minute with Zack. Even if he wasn't really in the room.

"You look like you spent the last weeks on a battle ground, smile, buddy!" Reno said just after the call was finished.

Cloud scowled, his brows knitted together by his sadness. Talking to Zack was good but it recalled him he hadn't the bubbly First with him. Thinking of that made his stomach twist.

Reno edged closer during Cloud muted thinking. When the blond focused back on reality he startled to see the red head at few centimeters from his face. Cloud backed away from the studying gaze, a sneer on his face. The Turks made him feel like a specimen to be examined.

"It wasn't weeks, but years."

The Turks grimaced at Cloud's tone. The blond passed the door when reno spoke up.

"Cheer up, you'll see him soon enou-"

Cloud cute him by slamming the door in his face. He heard a thump and a moan from the red head before he left for the SOLDIERs floors.

He hoped his impulsion wouldn't cost him too much.

* * *

Genesis put another post-it and noted his thoughts on the paragraph. The margins were since long filled to the rime. His first Loveless book was a temple for his devotion. A temple falling to piece and sprouting arborescence of post-its. He needed to glue the cover back too.

Footsteps alerted him of a visitor. Though, he didn't expect the only person who was forbidden to see him alone.

Cloud stood in the entryway. His hands shook at his sides and his eyes roamed the room without fixing on one spot.

"Will you bring me a drink, dear?" Genesis asked. He unconsciously used the voice he used with Sephiroth when he was overwhelmed. At least he didn't use Sephiroth's petname too.

Cloud startled and looked at him. Genesis pointed at the water cooler across from him. Cloud followed his gaze and approached the machine. The blond took one drink and gulped it. Finding some control back. Then Cloud gave him the drink he asked for.

"Thank you." Genesis paused, he kept his eyes on the book but glanced at Cloud from the corner of his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Reno," Cloud started, voice barely audible. He cleared his throat. "I couldn't put up with... their constant watch."

"So you came here." Cloud nodded. "You lost your Turk and came here," Genesis repeated. "Your way higher on the suicidal scale than I thought at first."

Their eyes meet each other. The redhead saw comprehension hitting the blond. Cloud lowered his eyes and played with his pierced ear.

"I thought it would be calm here."

"Well, it is," Genesis accorded crossing his legs on his couch. "But it won't be for too long now that you're here."

Cloud closed his eyes and mumbled, "I'll find another place."

"My friend, do you fly away now?

To a world that abhors you and I?

All that awaits you is a somber morrow

No matter where the winds may blow"

Genesis took a deep breath, eyes closed, as he savoured the words on his tongue.

"Why did you stop?" Cloud asked. "You don't know the rest?"

A bubbling laugh took Genesis. He shook his head and waved his working hand toward his office desk.

"Give me my PHS will you. I'll make sure nobody will burst in to save my purity."

Cloud gave him a bewildered look that made Genesis huff in amusement, but he obeyed.

"Aren't they going to ignore you and come anyway?"

Genesis gasped, outraged, "Put a little faith in me!"

"And if I do kill you?"

The Lt. General wasn't even surprised by the question. He snorted, not intimidated at all. He finished his message for the Turks then put his PHS down, "Well, it won't be my problem anymore."

"You don't think I can kill you?" Cloud asked, more curious than threatening.

"Oh, I know you can. An expired meal could kill me in this state. I could trip in the stairs where nobody is here to catch me. You could make me laugh and I'll have a stroke. Technically you would have killed me. I can go on."

"I doubt I could say something funny enough to make you laugh," Cloud commented. "So, what are you reading?"

Genesis felt the trilling sensation coming with this question. No matter how many times he answered this question, it always excited him.

"Loveless!" he sighed happily. "The best book I laid my eyes upon. The end, mostly. It's the end that drawn me. There so many interpretations. One for each people and how they read all the book. I read a lot of those too. The best one was from a young girl, brilliant mind. She wrote a great continuation, but stopped because of her studies," he spitted out the last word, shaking his head at the loss. "Loveless reach us all."

Then reality came back to him. The boy wanted calm and came to him. He needed Cloud to fell safe with him. So he could kept the boy from the labs, whatever Lazard said. It was his way of thanking Zack for what he did. In other circumstances he would have continued without thinking twice. If he started trying to please to everyone he was dead. Right now he forced himself to think of the other one in the room. Being kind to someone that wasn't his soulmate once wouldn't kill him.

Dejected Genesis looked at Cloud, standing above him. The blond didn't say a word for a long time, but his next sentence made Genesis' heart jump.

"You wrote something too?"

"Yes," Genesis croaked.

"And the poem, it was from the book?" Genesis nodded, mute with surprise, and refusing to open his mouth again if he was going to make unceremonious sounds. "Can you finish it?"

Genesis stared at the blond until he started fidgeting.

"We didn't have much poetry, or books, at Nibelheim."

"Well, if you want. Make yourself comfortable."

Cloud eyed the room; he settled on the chair before just plopping on the ground next to the couch. His sky blue eyes staring at Genesis now at the same height fluttered the redhead. He started straightening up, "I can just mo-"

A hand stopped him. Cloud shook his head and propped his head on his hand. He waited for Genesis to continue. He looked curious and ready to hear a good story. Yet his free hand shook on his thigh and his eyes were dilated. Cloud hide his anxiety pretty well, but Genesis saw him enter in the room earlier. Since then Genesis kept observing little signals from the blond. Cloud was trying to distract himself from his own mind.

I had to distract him before he could calm down and say what bothered him, Zack said one day. Or he would be a Genesis-bis and be all fury and fire. I kind of wanted to see a fight between you two one day. Yeah, strange fantasy, uh? Worked if he was anxious too.

Like Angeal, Genesis found the custom to keep talking about dead people unsettling. Almost unhealthy. It was dwelling on the past. Though, authors did it. But it felt less strange for Genesis. Anyway, right now it was useful beyond words. He really didn't want a freaked out Watcher on his hands. Angeal already made sure the boy was seen as a potential danger; none of them needed it to become true. Even the excuse of panic attacks couldn't protect the blond. So Genesis eased himself and started reciting Loveless.

During his recitation he started talking about the best analysis of passages. Cloud moved closer so his head was resting on his hand on the couch. He didn't talk, but gave all his attention to Genesis. The redhead soaked it up. Spending so much time on his office because of unexpected spike of pain and his chronic tiredness, Genesis hadn't his dose of attention for years now.

Halfway through the book he received a message. He sassed Lazard until the man got feed-up and was certain Genesis was okay. Chuckling softly he turned his eyes to Cloud that stayed silent during his exchange. What a sweet boy.

Except he was fast asleep, his head on the brim of the couch. Cloud's breathe tingled Genesis' unused hand. The sensation plus the extravagant hair at his reach spawn an urge in the redhead. He could move his hand and pat the blond head. Yet his hand was so feeble, it could hit the blond in the head and woke him up. Genesis was torn. In one hand – ah! – the bet made his heart beat pick up. On the other hand he found himself reluctant to wake up Cloud. The truth he showed him by sleeping here made Genesis smile.

The urge still won. Genesis smiled at his little success. His hand was buried in the blond's hair without waking him up. The pitiable thing he had for hand stroke clumsily the soft hairs, but Cloud just leaned in the touch. Was it strange to pet an ex-ennemy? Genesis thought an instant before shrugging. He had a rivalry with Sephiroth that finished in complete love, Genesis was biased.

That was without counting the obvious: Cloud was Zack's soulmate. Zack was part of the few Genesis called close. He cared for Cloud because he cared for Zack.

Who was he kidding? Cloud was cute. A bit neurotic, but cute. Petting him was therapeutic.

"Maybe we should take another cat?" Genesis murmured to himself. If he felt the urge to ruffle a Watcher' head he was surely touch starved and needed a pet. Angeal wasn't here enough to fill his quota of touches. Genesis sighed, he became so needy, where was the independent SOLDIER he had been?


	13. Ch 13

**Thirteen**

.

The ex-Watchers weren't here for one full week that some truths were acknowledged by all SOLDIERs and, by defaut, by Turks too. One, Dirk was a damn fine chef. If you were searching him, you had to go for the kitchen. Second, Elena and Flore were inseparable. So much that Turk envisaged recruiting the little ex-Watcher. But it was hush-hush. Genesis loved gossip as much as Kunsel and they found out by the First' own Fanbase. They were useful sometimes. Third, trying to stop Genesis from seeing Cloud was impossible.

Genesis didn't know if his overprotective SOLDIERs tried to keep Cloud away too. If they did, it didn't work. Cloud wasn't one to cave in face of lame threats. The ex-Watcher seemed unphased by the glaring of the SOLDIERs when they meet. Genesis loved it. He loved irritating the entirety of the Soldier Department and the Turks. He loved how Cloud just talked to him.

Cloud didn't make Genesis felt like a weak little thing near death.

The Chocobo liked Loveless and literature too.

Genesis sighed in contentment.

"This is love!" he singsonged.

The odd stares he received from the people in the hall made him think twice about what he said.

"It was just a turn of phrase," he muttered, heart beating fast. "Although I am in love. With two very absent person who don't call at all!"

Great, now he was irritated by the two Firsts that called themselves his lovers.

The gym's racket reduced to nothing as Genesis entered the training area, a wide open room with a tall ceiling and mats littering the concrete floor. He paused an instant in the entryway, hand on hips and scanned the area. He saw a lot of embarrassed face, eyes coming and going from his unused arm. They knew why he didn't come to the gym anymore. As degradation settled in, proving to be a long-lasting illness Hojo could only stop but not cure, Genesis shied away from physical efforts. Remembering it made the SOLDIERs uneasy.

Genesis loved it.

He was disabled, and he was going to rub it on their faces until all traces of pity disappeared. He wanted them to see he wasn't as strong as a SOLDIER but he wasn't on his death bed. Mako still ran in his veins, keeping him as perky as a normal human. Not a dying rat.

He should thank Cloud for forcing him to come here the first time.

Spiky blond hair pointed to the man he was searching. Genesis approached and rolled his eyes. Cloud was running again.

"Are you going to try something else than the treadmill?" Genesis asked in guise of salutation. "Or are you preparing for a Marathon? If so, I need to warn you that enhanced men are, sadly, not accepted. Something about grievous advantages."

Cloud huffed and stopped the sequence so he could walk and talk to Genesis.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe a spar?" Genesis designed the two SOLDIERs not too far with stick for swords. They started fighting again at his glance. "Maybe you'll put some sense in those dense heads."

"You want me to fight your SOLDIERs," Cloud repeated slowly. He made eye contact with Genesis, searching something on his face. "When they would jump on me at the first sign of hostility."

"A good spar get you rid of unnecessary hostility," Genesis said. He sat at the hem of the practice ring the two SOLDIERs with stick where. "I know it from experience."

"But our experiences aren't the same," Cloud answered, plopping next to Genesis. "And if I go fight Sephiroth to release 'unnecessary hostility', I'm going to be beaten up too."

"I'm pretty sure Sephiroth would do it himself, beating you up I mean. But he'll be happy to have another sparring partner. Nobody wants to anymore. Cowards."

Genesis chuckled, seeing Abe – he thought it was his name – flinch at the insult. Many SOLDIERs were eager to fight with Sephiroth. The first time. Then they refused to make eye contact with the General when he went to the gym asking for a partner. Now, few were still accepting to entertain Sephiroth.

"You can fight Abe if you're unsure about your capacities, a cactuar could kill him."

Turning his head to the blond, he saw him smirking.

"Bendt, no, Richard. Wait, it is Sasha?" the second sparring SOLDIER nodded at the last name. "Well, Sasha. I could beat his ass even as a lowly human. And with one hand. If they let me and didn't treat me like their aging grandpa."

Genesis smirked at the faces the SOLDIERs in the room made. The mirrors on one wall were useful. Cloud chuckled. He put his arms around his knee and kept observing.

"Yeah, you can beat him. You still have a mean throw, do you have a perfume bottle on you?"

Cloud's eyes glinted with playfulness. Genesis gasped loudly, like it could hide his mad heart, and put a hand on his chest.

"Please don't evoke such tragedy. I use expensive perfume as weapons only for the best. None of them is going to have even a Banora apple throw at them if they don't protect their right side!"

Both Abe and Sasha moved instinctively to protect their right side, giving an opening on their left. They noticed it and both acted in the same manner again, attacking the other. It was a mess that amused the two observers. Genesis laughed outright while Cloud hide his chuckles behind his hand.

"Abe, your right foot is not firm on its base. Damn, my grandma could beat you with her cane with those awful stances!"

"My mother could too," Cloud commented in a quiet voice.

"Oh come on!" Genesis exclaimed. "I said grandma; you can find better than a mother to joke about."

The blond raised his head from his knees. He seemed surprised at Genesis' comment.

"I wasn't joking. She could do it."

"Now, that is some interesting fact. Please, tell me more."

Cloud shrugged. Genesis leaned toward him, excited by the prospect of a new story.

"There nothing interesting. In the mountains there a lot of blizzards, like at the northern area. We are often isolated and need to eat. So we hunt whatever survive there. Winter hares, deers and else. There are always Nibel wolves trying to steal from us, and we had to defend our preys. Nothing more."

"Nothing more!" Genesis repeated. "Your mother kills Nibel wolves?"

"Not really, we chase them the most," Cloud corrected. He started playing with the hem of his shirt. "She wouldn't be so good with a sword, but a simple stick or a staff, yes. We hit wolves on the head with it, and they run off."

"And they run off, he said like Nibel wolves aren't colossal!" Genesis said sounding offended.

"Less than dragons," Cloud muttered.

"Did your mother fought dragons?" Genesis asked.

"Once," Cloud answered, blushing for a reason Genesis didn't dwell on. He blinked. "Oh."

"Oh, what?"

Cloud glanced at Genesis, shrugged but said nothing. He started running his fingers on something under his shirt. Genesis saw the contours of one notepad.

So my little one just remembered that, Genesis thought.

"What happened?" he asked.

A shrug answered him. Genesis eyes were attracted by the constant movement of Cloud's hand on his stomach. An instant he thought the boy was sick, but sounds of paper being crumpled indicated otherwise. Genesis held out a hand toward the blond who looked at him without understanding.

"You're telling me and I'm writing it down, if I let you do it we'll end up with 'Mom fought a dragon, she's cool. End.' and that would be an insult toward her."

Cloud huffed and drew his knee toward himself becoming a ball. A frown marred his face and he glared at Genesis who smirked back.

"Are you forced to talk about it here?" Cloud hissed.

"You did talk about my degradation like it was the weather."

Genesis wasn't trying to guilt trip Cloud, but commenting on this little incident did make him feel better. He decided that if Cloud refused he wouldn't insist. Yet the blond didn't make him wait long. Cloud gave him the corned notepad, a deep blush on his features. Genesis couldn't discern if it was from anger or embarrassment.

"Are you fighting or gossiping?" Genesis yelled after Abe and Sasha.

"You're the one gossiping, sir," Kunsel said.

The redhead turned toward the man who was nowhere in sight five seconds ago. At Genesis constant amazement, Kunsel had his helmet on.

"I'm not hiding it," he answered. He poked at Cloud with his useful hand. "So, tell me exactly how it happened."

The blond sighed, but he still told his story with a chilling detachment. He finished by leaned on Genesis, reading what he wrote about his mother.

"Icy blue eyes?" Cloud commented.

"Did she have another eye color?"

"No, it's just..." the blond shrugged but didn't finish his sentence.

"It's more poetic like that."

"... carrying her heavy charge down the mountain-side... I was a very scranny kid. I doubt I qualify as 'heavy charge'."

"A kid of your age is heavy," Genesis sighed, still baffled by the lack of genuine awe Cloud had for his mother. "I don't know the weight of five years olds, twenty or thirty kilogrammes? It's heavy for a woman."

Cloud looked at him, a part of his weight on his shoulder, but not enough to hurt Genesis. He blinked then squinted his eyes. He leaned back to observe Genesis.

"You're serious." it was a statement. "When I left Nilbeiheim, my friend could bench press me. My mom too."

Genesis gasped loudly, his eyes going wide. Then he asked in a hushed tone, "Where you living in a sort of barbaric village where women are stronger than men?"

He planned on his question to be humorous, at least capable of making the blond's lips quirk up. Cloud didn't. The little one seemed less than amused. He frowned and glared with all his might, body tense.

"Well, you never spend time in the slums if you think so," Kunsel said. "Brendt was actually knocked out by a teenager down there. Because he commented on her when she was choosing a weapon. She tested it on him. Pretty effective."

Some snickers echoed in the room. It was a well know story apparently. Somehow their conversation prompted the working out men to share stories about their friends, or girlfriends. They actually felt relaxed for the first time in many meeting Genesis had with Cloud, under those SOLDIERs' eyes. For the first time Cloud wasn't an ex-Watcher, just another guy with stories about the women in his life. He was awkward and hesitant at first but eased himself, enjoying himself and sharing with others the little he remembered.

Genesis assisted to it with a found smile. He gave few stories, but it was mostly about Gillian. His own mother had been soft and lenient with him.

* * *

Cloud lived in a dream. It was the only explanation.

SOLDIERs had all received definitives orders about the ex-Watchers and the hostility lowered since then. Lazard told him about the results of their medical check-ups and about the lack of gratitude for his service Heigheger had. Cloud had been a infantryman and hurt during his duty, he should have received a veteran help, but the head of the Army said to all Cloud was a traitor. The Turks kept this little tidbit from leaving the PR reunions. Both by Lazard's demand and Rufus as Cloud learned by Elena. The two were up for something. Not that Tseng planned on giving this information anyway, the demand from the two others gave him leverage for the future.

Lazard then proposed him to become a consultant. A consultant. Cloud couldn't believe it. He had to give all infos he remembered on the Watchers and help to bring down their strategies.

Next to it he could find what he wanted to do.

Flore and Dirk future was clear, they refused to become SOLDIERs. Cloud hesitated. So the consultant idea came. Cloud could ask for classes to be held so he could explain Watcher's ways of fighting. He was going to have a paycheck too. Which was as surreal as being in ShinRa in general.

He still hadn't the right to go to Zack's apartment. Reno talked about sensitives informations that could lie around. Cloud agreed it was likely; Zack was prone to bring back documents to his apartment. And since the Turks couldn't enter – only because Zack had a good relationship with them – Cloud was stuck outside.

At least Kunsel snored. Till the man made sounds, he wasn't awake, ready to strick. It let it bring down his guard and sleep a little. Though, Genesis' office was the best for a power nap.

Cloud didn't accept Lazard's proposition yet. It was too strange and he couldn't pinpoint exactly why. That's why he went directly for Genesis' office. He knew the man for one week and was already trusting him.

Cloud stopped near the office. A SOLDIER he lost the name on his heels. Maybe he should just turn on his heels and stop being so friendly with the redhead. He could be on the same board as Rufus and Lazard, manipulating him into joining SOLDIERs and being tied up by ShinRa bureaucracy. Not that it would really hold him up if he wanted to leave.

"My, are you camping before my door now?"

The blond sighed and gave a blasé look at Genesis. The man closed the door behind him, a smile on his face.

"I'm going for the helipads, walk with me."

Cloud followed without complaint. He was too tired to fight the man. Who should be tired whit his degradation, but was still in better shape than Cloud. Life was unfair.

Although this week seemed to have stressed the man as he looked less and less energetic as the days passed.

For a moment only the sound of their boots hitting softly the ground was heard.

"When is Zack coming back?"

"You asked me that yesterday and the day before. Did you already forget?"

"Yes. So?"

It wasn't exactly that he forgot Zack was coming back soon, but his sense of time was off. To the point he forgot when Genesis had said Zack was coming back. Was it only few minutes ago? Or it was the day before? So asking many times a day helped him create some chronology.

"I need an agenda," Cloud mumbled to himself.

"I'll find you one."

Cloud didn't know if it was him that influenced Genesis or the inverse, but both of them were very open about their problem with each other. And since Cloud still hadn't the right to be with Genesis alone, a lot of SOLDIERs knew about their problems too. It could be a reason for the tentative acceptance the SOLDIERs had for the ex-Watchers.

"So?" Cloud asked again.

Genesis creased his brows in reflexion, trying to find what exactly Cloud was asking. Cloud gladly supplied a clue.

"Zack."

"Oh. Tomorrow evening."

Cloud came to an abrupt halt, joy was fast drown by tension as the SOLDIER behind them stopped too near from him. Genesis' hand naturally found it's way around Cloud neck and made him resume their walk. It stayed there a bit longer than one would consider usual, but Cloud soaked the touch. Even with the reduced hostility toward them, he didn't spent too much time with Dirk and Flore. Even at the Watcher's hideouts, they never had been much for grand gesture of affection. It was slight touch of the wrists, bump in shoulders or sleeping seated on cold floor, the other's back only source of warmth.

Genesis hummed taking Cloud away from his thoughts. They were at the helipads where a chopper was landing. SOLDIERs left the vehicle with eagerness but stayed around the helipads while chatting together. One kept Cloud's attention when the SOLDIER that followed him to Genesis' office went to talk to him. The man hadn't seen Cloud as he was hidden by a pillar and Genesis, but Cloud had a great view on him. The set of the jaws, the big eyes and the crooked nose. The way he stood on his left leg, keeping his helmet under his right arm.

It was familiar.

Something else caught his attention when Genesis sighed in contentment. Leaving the chopper was Tseng in conversation with Sephiroth. Their eyes meet. All the cells in Cloud froze. He took a breath. His chest didn't move at the amount of oxygen. His body minimised all movement as the predator approached. It was foolish to think the man didn't saw him, but his body stayed put. Adrenaline coursed in his veins. In a heartbeat the fear he felt was drowned by an urge to fight. Cloud's hand hitched to find a weapon.

Cloud heart stopped a second when a hand wrapped around the back of his neck.

"Breathe you idiot."

He blinked then looked at Genesis. From the corner of his eyes he saw Sephiroth stop dead on his track as he looked at them. Genesis smiled at Cloud and tapped him on the forehead. He laughed at Cloud affronted face then waited right there for Sephiroth to come. The silver-haired man resumed his walk with slower steps. He kept his eyes on Cloud and saluted him by a tip of the head.

"Cloud."

The blond huffed, crossed his arms and opened his mouth only to stay quiet. How should he talk to the man? He shut his mouth and nodded back. A laugh attracted his attention back to the guy he recalled faintly. He squinted his eyes, irritated. The man turned to them as the other SOLDIER signaled them. The guy dropped his eyes on his shoes the second he met Cloud's. The blond finally recalled him.

"A Watcher," Cloud breathed.

"I beg your pardon?" Sephiroth asked. He followed Cloud's gaze and frowned. "Clyde his a trusted subordinate. I worked with him for almost a year."

Sephiroth's voice made Cloud's skin crawl. He shuddered, hold his arms tighter around him and gritted between his teeths, "I remember him." Cloud paused, knowing it wouldn't be enough but failing to give the information that would make them believe him. "I remember him with a Watcher's outfit. He wasn't enhanced at this time. Do what you want with this information."

"Well," Genesis interjected. "You can't deny your memories are flawed."

Cloud glared at him. Irritation and tension were growing in him. He glanced a last time at the man before turning on his heels and quitting the area. Why did Genesis brought him there anyway? To confirm he wouldn't jump on Sephiroth to kill him? Only because the redhead enjoyed dragging him around?

"Strife."

The blond inhaled deeply before turning toward Tseng. The Turk came to him then stopped to observe him.

"Would you care to accompany me and talk?"

"If it's only to say my memory is shit. I already know."

"I wish to confirm or deny your intelligence in a professional way. Until we finish the investigation I will not question the stability of your memory." Tseng paused. "The contract that is proposed to you asks that you share your intelligence; we take care of proving it."

"Jeez, thanks," Cloud mumbled. "It makes me feel way better. Aren't you going to say I gave you false informations and made you lose your time if it isn't confirmed?"

"Please, we took in consideration your mental state. Rufus and Lazard thought your input would exceed the problems you could cause. Now, are you coming? I need to talk about Reno's absence too."

Tseng didn't wait for an answer to walk away. Cloud sighed but followed.

"Reno said I was boring."

Tseng glanced at him waiting apparently for Cloud to elaborate. The blond was too tired and irritated for formulating a lie for Reno. His mouth stayed clamped shut. Reno would deal with the man himself. Even if they both agreed to their parting.


	14. Ch 14

NDA - 09.10.17

listen, writing take time, you can't deny it. It's like drawing. Right. Now that this tidbit is clear let's talk about what bother me. Giving chapters to a beta need two things that you might overlook: 1. organisation skills, 2. more time to get over the corrections. Both thing I lack. Betas readers are cool! I had some both in french and english I had good relationships with! but ultimately, it's not possible for me, for an ongoing fic.

So I'm **not** getting a beta reader while the fic is ongoing! and don't come say to me the mistakes are hindering the lecture bc:

1\. I know I have mistakes, I don't care. You can read, I know it. Native english told me it's clear, if not always perfectly 'comfortable'.

2\. Either you have a fic, or you have nothing as my fic is written but not edited and not posted. I write bc I enjoy it, I'd like to share it too, but I'm certainly not trying to win a nobel prize of literature with my fic, in do the hard work for my _original french fiction_ , not for a _hobby_

also, the fic still not isn't updated regularly, or at all. Bc y'all are shouting about beta reader and it piss me off, especially when there twenty or so people who favorite the fic but don't care to say anything. That's not giving me the will to update or correct my mistakes.

end of the NDA, bye see you in months

* * *

 **Fourteen**

.

Sephiroth heard the footsteps in the corridor before the key was even in the lock.

"I'm back!" Angeal called from the entryway.

"I'm in the kitchen," Sephiroth answered without raising his voice. No need when his lovers were enhanced too.

His lover all but dragged himself in the kitchen, his feet rubbing the ground. Sephiroth recovered a cup of coffee from what Genesis left and offered it to Angeal who took it with a relieved sigh. Dark rings marred his face, his eyelids fell on his dark eyes and his face was pale. Angeal looked awful.

"Where's Genesis?" Angeal asked with a frown. "In bed? It's a bad day?"

"Not closely," Sephiroth answered. "He's in the gym, commenting the personal training of each SOLDIER with Cloud. Or they moved to the classes to comment the teachers."

"What? He's with Cloud? You let him?" Angeal asked without breathing. "Wait, sorry, I know it's impossible to stop him from doing things sometimes, but you aren't with them? Watching over him?"

Taken aback by Angeal's reaction Sephiroth blinked and searched a reason for him to be so worried.

"Didn't you see my message about the way Cloud acted with Genesis?"

Angeal waved it off, "It's not important. He may be playing to get closer to Genesis."

"Why would he do that?"

"Gain power, execute an order, I don't know!"

For all the informations Genesis drowned Sephirtoh under when he came back, only one jumped out to him which could explain Angeal's worry. He put down his mug and inhaled. He had to sort thing through.

"Why would he have been ordered to get closer to Genesis?"

"I don't know, it's just a feeling. To gain inside knowledge."

"Then he would have approached Tseng, Rufus or Lazard. Maybe even the President."

"Which is impossible like that. So Genesis it is. And maybe later he'll try Lazard and Rufus."

Sephiroth could see a convoluted logic under all but there was an edge in Angeal's voice which put a dent in his ideas. He observed the man more closely. The way he clenched his fists, how he walked few steps before coming back to face Sephiroth and his eyes flicking around them. It wasn't Angeal's usual behaviour. Wether it be sleep deprivation or long lasting paranoia as Genesis thought, Angeal had a problem and his judgement shouldn't be trusted about the ex-Watchers. Not without proofs.

"Strife wants Genesis to trust him for a reason and I'll find it," Angeal asserted. "The Watchers refused to go to the labs, it's telling, no? The reports from the bam by Zack's squad made clear Cloud was friend with a scientist. He isn't as scared as he let Lazard thought. The official report from the Turk said Strife was strong enough to make others Watchers leave him alone most of the time by _fear_. So he had a good place in the organisation too. I'm certain he's close to the Numbers. Maybe gatter intelligence in the most dangerous way is a rite of passage."

Angeal paused and turned to Sephiroth as if waiting for him to add something. But Sephiroth was stunned by Angeal's monologue. He frowned and looked around to save himself a few seconds of reflection.

"Are you joking, and you're too into it for me to realise?" Sephiroth asked.

"I know you're bad at reading the mood of people but I thought you knew me well enough for it to be over!" Angeal shook his head in disbelief. "I'm _not_ joking. Can you understand why I'm worried?"

"You are going too far, Geal."

"What do you mean? You don't believe me?"

Sephiroth liked his lips then pinched them. Angeal was too nervous and on the offensive. It wasn't good. And it wasn't a state he knew how to deal with. A spurt anger would be less of a strain simply because Angeal tended to shout and ask to be left alone must he say something offensive, but Angeal wasn't angry. Not yet.

"I wish I could but as I said, you are seeing Cloud as an enemy since the start. You didn't see anything positive in him. Which is far from your normal reaction to people." Sephiroth took a breath before finishing, "I think your degradation touches your mental state more than your body."

A roar more than a question left Angeal's throat, "What?"

Sephiroth moved away from the counter so he wouldn't be blocked if Angeal made it physical. It was the first time Angeal had been so angry and directed all of it toward him. Sephiroth kept an impassible face, as it was his protection since a kid facing this sort of outburst, but his heart pounded in his chest.

"You don't believe me!"

He closed the distance between them at Sephiroth's dismay. Angeal looked down at the General who meet his eyes even if he wanted to look away. Sometimes, just keeping eye contact made the people calm down.

Genesis said it was because gazing into a straight face made nervous people. Especially if it was the _General._ It made him look determined and immovable. Sephiroth certainly didn't felt unshakeable right now, but the face was the trick. He breathed and answered.

"No, I'm not. I will repeat you what you said later so you'll understand."

"Understand what? That you prefer to believe an enemy than me?"

"Geal, I'm not- "

"You don't believe me!" Angeal cried, tapping his own chest. "I try to protect Genesis. I try to protect everyone but you put your faith in the Strife?"

"Please, Geal. You're not yourself."

After few minutes Sephiroth realised they were going full circle without having a conversation. He was glad when Angeal finally became so angry he staled off, going for his garden. The silver-haired man hesitated for the course of action. A part of him wanted to made sure Angeal was fine, but another was too full of negative energy not to pick another fight. And if Angeal was degrading, he wouldn't risk his health only to steam off both of their anger in a swordfight.

He choose to head for the gyms and hope someone would be willing to fight him.

ₒₒₒ

Cloud was enjoying whipping the floor with Kunsel. At first. As Genesis said it differed from the treadmill and the change was good. But Kunsel wasn't an opponent strong enough for the blond. Soon he started being bored and spend most of the time correcting Kunsel stance rather than fighting him. Genesis lifted himself from the ground, announcing he was prospecting to find him a good opponent when Sephiroth came.

"I need an opponent," the silver-haired man declared.

The gym, made silent at his arrival, started buzzing anew. Genesis clapped the SOLDIERs the nearest from him, a shit eating grin on his face who made Cloud shudder.

"Cloud needs one too! It's perfect!"

The blond eyed Masamune already in the General's hand and shook his head, "I don't want to fight with swords. Only hands-to-hands."

"And I'm not inclined toward hands-to-hands if not with Angeal."

"Why don't you ask him?" a SOLDIER asked. "I heard he came back."

"I fought with him," Sephiroth said between gritted teeth.

The SOLDIER gulped and disappeared from the man's vision in an instant.

"Come on, I want to see this fight," Genesis whined at Sephiroth. "I'm sure you can have fun! From what I saw Cloud is at your level in hand-to-hand. And it's been a bit of time you didn't fight like this."

Genesis turned to Cloud and the blond knew the red-head wouldn't back down. It was certain. The simple presence of the silver-haired man put him on edge but he had spent enough time at the gym tiring himself before that to be relaxed enough. Just enough for him not to try to kill Sephiroth accidentally. He hoped.

"Really? When did you fight hand to hand for the last time?" Cloud asked Sephiroth. "Someone who wasn't Lt. General Hewley."

"Years ago," Sephiroth answered dismissively as he scanned the SOLDIERs. "So? Who is coming?"

"Years. I'm pretty sure you're rusted," Cloud teased. He wiggled his fingers to Sephiroth enjoying greatly the frown that deepened on the man's face. "I've been fighting dirty in the Watchers for years, I'm pretty sure I'll challenge you. Finding a swordman to spar with that'll be matching you, it's unlikely."

"Don't be so full of yourself." Sephiroth huffed and looked away, but there was something that told Cloud he was interesting him. "You should learn humility."

Cloud smiled with amusement. He shook his head and changed his smile for a smirk as he crossed his arms, "Make me."

Sephiroth's eyes widened imperceptibly. Next to Cloud, Genesis snickered and murmured that Sephiroth was sold. True to the redhead's words Sephiroth made Masamune disappear, which made Cloud exhale a forced steady breathe. The man approached, taking off his coat. Cloud starred at the simple t-shirt on Sephiroth shoulders. It was a perfectly normal shirt, but it was strange to see the man dressed like a sensible person.

"So... what's banned?" Cloud asked, rubbing a foot on the mat.

"Nothing. Give your all."

Cloud lifted a brow and crossed Sephiroth's eyes a second, "You sure?"

The man nodded but Cloud insisted.

"Every dirty tricks are allowed?"

"As I said," Sephiroth repeated, sounding irritated.

Cloud shrugged. He let the man warm up and looked at the way he held himself, his shorter hair and his bare feet. Little mimics helped him differentiate from the Sephiroth Cloud affronted in his mind during his mako poisoning. Sephiroth change in clothes helped the most.

Around them the SOLDIERs were flocking toward the mat, curious as cats. Genesis smiled like he had been offered a gift and his eyes glinted with glee. Cloud frowned at him and stopped himself from sticking his tongue out. Genesis met his eyes a second and the red head his smile broadened. Cloud groaned interiorly as Genesis smiled like a dragon ready to play with a running diner. He wasn't even the one that'll fight! But the man seemed really happy to put Cloud face to the great General. Cloud tried to remember if he had a petty fight unresolved with the redhead to no avail.

Genesis would be surprised, Cloud wasn't going to go easy on Sephiroth.

He breathed deeply and willed his hands not to shake when Sephiroth faced him. He wasn't sure he was doing this only to please Genesis. Deep inside there was a _need_ to prove he could surpass Sephiroth. Cloud needed to be sure he could stop the man if he tried something.

Sephiroth nodded and they started. Although they stayed immobile a long time, gauging each other. In the mean time Cloud found his breath. The mad Sephiroth never let him breath or think, he hit and hit and hit, until Cloud was only fighting by instinct. There he relaxed his muscles allowing him to be agile and quick on his feet.

The General made the first move. With remarkable speed he grabbed Cloud's wrist. Cloud's heart jumped in his throats and the next moves were more instinctive than considered. Nimble, Cloud ducked under his opponent arm. He ended in Sephiroth's back. He pulled his wrist free just enough to grab Sephiroth's. He twisted it in the man's back eliciting an inaudible yelp. Holding onto Sephiroth's wrist, Cloud pushed until Sephiroth was unbalanced. Then he tripped the man.

Cloud let go when he saw the man on the ground, holding himself by one hand. Sephiroth's hair made a shining pool around him. Silence was made around them, but Cloud kept his eyes on the actual menace. Sephiroth rose, his hair cascading on his shoulders. The poor guy looked embarrassed by his quick defeat. Although the clue about Sephiroth's mood was tiny, hidden in the downside of his mouth. He shook his head to clear his eyes from the strands. Cloud followed the movement and knew how he'd made Sephiroth lose next. The man nodded, confirming he was ready for another round. Cloud smiled.

The General seemed to have updated his approach. He went for a good punch. Cloud caught it then imitated him. Sephiroth avoided it easily, smirking at Cloud. The blond smiled back. He opened his hand as it brushed past the man's ear and grabbed a fistful of hair. With a quick pull and another tripping Sephiroth was on the ground.

"You have a very poor balance," Cloud hummed to himself.

"A poor balance? Him?" came a disbelieving comment from one of the SOLDIERs.

A choked sound came from behind Cloud who turned to see Genesis holding in a laugh. The red-head made a movement and someone gave him his water bottle. Genesis didn't lose his smile.

"Up now." Cloud ordered the bewildered Sephiroth. Genesis laugh was heard until Sephiroth glared at him and he stifled it. "Come on." Cloud pushed.

When the silver haired finally stood Cloud met his eyes as he thought. Sephiroth tilted his head to the side, realising Cloud wasn't going to fight. The blond nodded to himself and come closer to Sephiroth, yet still at arm's length. The General made a sign he was going to step back, but Cloud stopped him. He invaded Sephiroth space and if he interpreted the man's body language correctly, Sephiroth wasn't happy about it, but was still curious.

"You move like your gravitational center is here." Cloud said, pointing under Sephiroth's navel. "But it should be here." Cloud pointed higher. "It's like you had a growth spurt and didn't adapt."

"I doubt it's the reason I'm losing to you," Sephiroth said as he casually put distance between them. "I never had a problem when fighting."

"You're overcompensating with SOLDIER stamina, strength and speed. Not good. One day an opponent will find you unarmed and you'll need to win," Cloud said. "I'm going to show you."

"I'd prefer to learn who you fight," Sephiroth commented.

"When you'll have good bases. Tie your hair up; it's a fight hazard."

"Strife, I insist-"

"I'm not showing you anything till you stand correctly," Cloud hissed. Behind him the continued laughter from Genesis still resonated. He turned to him. "What?"

"You're bossing the great General!"

"He's not so great if he can't stand correctly. Did Angeal really fought with him? And he didn't saw his faults?" Cloud mumbled between his teeth. He returned his eyes to Sephiroth who put his hair in a ponytail. "No! Let me do it, you can't even tie your own hair. What's so great about you if you can't stand or tie your hair."

Cloud made the puzzled General turn so he could braid his hairs then made a bun. He kept mumbling about everything that bothered him about Sephiroth under Genesis laughter. Which calmed a second only to rise up when Cloud said something that was funny for the red-head. Cloud couldn't fathom what was funny when he talked about Sephiroth's errors which could cost him his life.

When Cloud was finished, he noticed the pleading eye Sephiroth send toward Genesis. It was kind of cute to see the great General – not so great in Cloud's opinion – search help from his lover. Seeing that only cemented Cloud's stupid implusion. An impulsion that came after witnessing young enhanced Watchers being beaten up because they didn't know how to fight. Cloud often took them to learn how the basics, until they found they own group or were send in missions for never coming back in Cloud's care. The fact it was Sephiroth didn't made his mind falter in his decision. He needed a teacher and nobody seemed to do that, not even Genesis or Angeal.

The following half hour was spent forcing Sephiroth to learn things Cloud was still baffled he had to teach the man. It was so ridiculous Cloud tried to ask Genesis if Sephiroth was playing with him. But by Sephiroth pinched and serious expression when Cloud showed him something it wasn't just a joke to play with him.

Two times Cloud spent a long moment with the man and two times he found out Sephiroth acted like a proud chocobo who tried to make others forget he had a leg stuck in a hole.

Sephiroth as a chocobo stayed with Cloud and forced him to hide his smile when the man shook his head as he said they had to go. Cloud didn't know if Sephiroth was sick of being taught like an amateur or if he saw Genesis dosing off, his healthy hand cradling his other arm. Surely both.

Looking at the time Cloud suddenly speed up. He was going to be late to the call with Zack. His shower was rushed, his hair still wet went he left to rejoin Reno. If the SOLDIERs went slack on the whole rule of following the ex-Watchers around the three of them still hadn't the right to go on certain levels without babysitters. Heavyly armed babysitters.

One waited for him outside the showers. Cloud vaguely remembered him, but his name didn't come to his mind. He shrugged the thought off. The man didn't need to be here anyway.

"I wanted to talk, Strife."

Cloud passed him without glancing at his face, but he hoped the man would be shocked, "Can't. Busy."

He moved by instinct when he heard the other move. The SOLDIERs hand grabbed nothing but air as Cloud faced him. His heart beat faster but he kept his cool and stared down the man.

"What are you trying to do exactly with the Firsts?"

"And you?"

The man made a face, "What?"

Cloud moved away, listening to the strange footsteps coming their way.

"Yo, Cloud! Zack can't talk, they're packing up." Reno shook Cloud's shoulder then went away. "Try not to kill anyone today, yo."

The blond ran his hand in his hair and sighed. Reno wanted him to be beaten up or what? Maybe the Turks had a beating poll on how long he would hold before attacking people. Or being attacked. He glanced with disinterest at the man he still couldn't remember the name. Then walked away. The man made him uncomfortable.

"Strife!"

Cloud didn't stop, "What?"

"I want to talk."

The man who's name didn't ring a bell for Cloud caught up to him and forced him to stop.

"Not me."

"I really don't like what you're doing. Or you for that matter."

"I realised."

He saw a SOLDIER – Abe he thought – leave the gym and pause in the corridor as he observed them a second. He looked hesitant to approach and step in what could escalate into a brawl. Not that Cloud wanted that to happen since he loved his tranquility more than anything. A fight would destroy the little faith on him the SOLDIERs managed to build which was little, but enough for Cloud to ignore his urge to make his conversation partner swallow his broken teeth.

"Do you want to fight?"

"You could have asked in the gym," Cloud said.

"Luxiere! You again." Kunsel voice was a relief for Cloud. "Seriously, Cloud didn't say or do something that could be interpreted as threatening. Why are you on him like that?"

Cloud observed Luxiere as Kunsel came closer with his helmet still on. Luxiere shifted his stance from one leg to another and crossed his arms defensively as he scowled at the Second coming. Cloud almost jumped out of his skin when Kunsel put a hand on his shoulder.

"He's a Watcher."

" _Ex_ -Watcher," answered Kunsel, voice icy cold.

Luxiere glanced at Cloud, his eyes carrying something that put Cloud on edge. He didn't even know what the man had against him except he had been a Watcher. Maybe it was enough to hate him so much, but Luxiere made Cloud uncomfortable which didn't stick to the man's hostility. Cloud always responded to those sort of things with calm ignorance until the first blow was thrown. Being uncomfortable face to Luxiere didn't made sense.

"He always had some sort of agenda. Do you remember him and Zack? Zack didn't know him for weeks that he changed attitude drastically toward the troopers."

"Well, he had a friend, Cloud in them, he wasn't going to keep being a jerk like you. Zack grew up. You should do the same."

Cloud inhaled. The sudden reminder about Zack's absence hurt him as much as a blow in the plexus. He closed his eyes to keep the emotional turmoil at bay. With no results. His chest heaved without helping in bringing oxygen to his lungs. He wanted to talk to Zack.

"You're such a pain in the ass, Kunsel," Luxiere said.

"Solid argument," mumbled Cloud without thinking.

Kunsel chuckled, pressing his shoulder. Luxiere glared at him with fire in his eyes. Luxiere's hand closed and opened as he thought about starting a fight. Cloud moved a few centimeters away from Kunsel. If Luxiere attacked, it was better if he wasn't in Kunsel's feet and vice-versa.

"You have nothing to give to Zack, except more problems."

Cloud kept a straight face, but the words stung. They touched a dark place in him he tried to keep confined. Being insecure could cost you your life on a battleground. His hands shook at his sides, not from the urge to fight, though. Cloud liked his lips, the anxiety building in him since Luxiere's arrival slowly became an anxiety attack.

"Let me deal with him, Cloud," Kunsel said before pushing a bit Cloud.

He hesitated, but the moment Luxiere opened his mouth to say something, he was leaving. A fist-fight would have hurt much less than the stupid accusations Luxiere threw at him. The man seemed to say exactly what Cloud's guilt had tried to convince him.

Cloud didn't know where to go. He could return to the dorm. But wouldn't people on the floor thought his return suspicious? Cloud wasn't so sure he would calm down in the room as he waited for a possible interruption. In fact there wasn't any place he could think of where he could calm down without being plagued by the thought someone would find him.

He walked past the communal showers next from the gym and continued to the little square of challway that was never passed, even if there was a door. A supply closet, surely, that no one used. It wasn't the best place to have a breakdown, but a good one to take back his breath.

He hadn't thought he would meet Angeal Hewley there.

.

.


	15. Ch 15

**Fifteen**

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Angeal juggled with the bag of compost and the new flower he brought to push the lift button. He saluted Sasha when he climbed at the next floor then stayed silent except for a few sighs.

"You look down," the man stated.

Angeal gave him a week smile, "Yeah."

"If it's about the fight with Sephiroth, don't worry too much. He didn't look too angry when he left the gym earlier."

"You know about the fight," Angeal repeated, heart thundering. "How did you learn about it?"

Sasha blinked and leaned back. Angeal noticed he had raised his voice. The fact someone outside of his soulmates knew about the fight put him on edge. He had been certain they were watched and Sasha knowledge confirmed it.

"It's okay, sir. It happens." Sasha said. "Sephiroth entered the gym to find a partner for a spar. Someone proposed you, since you came back and- well, Sephiroth said he fought with you."

"Oh, I see." Angeal nodded. He moved his load in his arms so it wasn't slipping anymore. With a little push he forced himself to ask on a lighter note, "Did he found a willing partner?"

Sasha chuckled. They shared a knowing smile, yet Angeal was searching proofs in the man demeanour that Sephiroth didn't say more. The silver-haired man tended to let slip honest, but harsh comments and SOLDIERs were not the gentlest men alive. They joked about inappropriate things and sometimes went too far with their teasing. Angeal had tried to drill honour in those men, but he knew some of them hated his demeanour and weren't against slandering him.

"Actually one of the Watchers challenged him. Well, it's more Genesis who challenged both of them to fight against each others."

The First breathed as anger rose in him. Sephiroth had said Genesis was with Cloud and rather than coming to find him he went to their lover and the Watcher. It was pretty unsettling.

"Cloud- er Strife, spent the rest of the hour trying to correct Sephiroth's stance," Sasha continued.

"What?"

Sasha seemed a lot more uneasy now. He chuckled nervously, moved his weight from one foot to another and scratched his nose without looking at Angeal.

"Strife said Sephiroth had a very poor balance and decided to correct that." Sasha glanced at Angeal before look straight before him. "Er- did you know, sir? About Sephiroth unbalance? I should say I never realised until Cloud pointed it. But the General is way faster than me and I'm not a match so it never came to mind he was-"

"Sasha." Angeal groaned. He gained the man's silence and breathed. "I knew. I tried to correct it subtly."

Angeal paused. He tried for his help to be unnoticed because he knew how anxiety inducing being told he was wrong made Sephiroth feels. He had noticed a change, until he was too accustomed to it he statred forgetting it. Then problems pilled up and Angeal stopped trying to correct Sephiroth's stance. The man was already the strongest.

He made a mental note to ask Sephiroth about his feelings about it. He hoped he didn't felt so down.

The lift rang announcing their arrival. Sasha dashed out of the lift and joined his friends in the lounge. Angeal went his way toward the end of the corridor but still heard Sasha said something to his friend.

"Dude, I crossed Angeal. He was pretty weird!"

"Yeah, happened one time to me too. Maybe stress-"

Angeal didn't hear the last of the sentence but enough had been said. He inhaled slowly to calm his heart, an uneasiness creeping on him. But his eyes caught the silhouette of one Cloud Strife leaning near the door of his personal local. Strife had his eyes shut and kept still yet his sole presence irritated Angeal. He exhaled, and the blond startled, jumping into a focused stance.

The First frowned and shifted his hold on his things, so he had a hand free. The blond kept his eyes on him, following each of his movements like a hawk. If he wasn't in a defending position, he was still taut.

"What are you doing here?" Angeal asked.

"Hiding." Cloud answered before shifting his stance from one foot to another. "Althougth it didn't last long."

"Hiding from what?" Angeal persisted.

"Witnesses."

All sort of terrible things flashed in Angeal's head. Mostly the Watcher attacking him and going for the kill. Cloud's stance, the dilated pupils, his heart speeding up and the fact he breathed more slowly. Strife was preparing to attack. The First clenched his fist. Strife looked at it then crossed Angeal's eyes.

"Mental breakdown are best deal alone in the Watchers if you don't want to be attacked." Cloud said, his eyes still in Angeal's. "Seems identic here."

The words struck Angeal hard. Dumbfounded, he looked as the blond moved from the wall, eyes never leaving Angeal. Cloud went to the other side of the corridor in a way to put space between them. Angeal stayed mute. Mixed feelings were breaking hell in him. His brain still didn't trust Strife but the way Cloud acted showed fear. Angeal wasn't accustomed to people seeing him as a threat outside of a battlefield.

"Wait!"

Angeal grabbed the blond's arm. Cloud jerked away and knocked against the wall. The First could hear the shortness of breath Cloud was hiding seconds ago. He gritted his teeth, cursing softly at his own idiocy. The blond had a hesitant move which looked more like a spasm than something else. Cloud kept his hand still hovering above his chest in a defensive manner, but seemed frozen on the spot.

"Sorry," Angeal said with the low voice he used naturally for freaked out SOLDIERs. "It's my garden here. The place is calm. If-"

He didn't finish his sentence. The blond wasn't going to jump on the proposition. Not after the way he had acted with Strife all along.

"Sorry, again. I'm not holding you here." Angeal murmured.

Cloud didn't move. He stared at Angeal.

Angeal opened his mouth to add something but kept it shut as he looked at the man's face. Fear made Cloud's pupil as little as the end of a pin, making his eyes huge. They were a pretty sky blue, which explained his nickname in the Watchers. For a brief second Angeal saw an apparition of green but the moment passed. The fear displayed by Cloud made Angeal uneasy, he wasn't trying to be intimidating. Yet his stature and his creased brown seemed to have worked against him again. His mind corrected him, a few seconds ago he had been ready to hit. Cloud noticed it.

Angeal deflated on himself. He had attributed ill thoughts to the ex-Watcher before Cloud had showed any signs of aggression. In fact Cloud had reacted to Angeal's own aggressivity. This thought calmed his paranoia. Cloud blinked and all fear left him letting the First caught off guard.

Laughs at the end of the corridor made them look. The blond sighed and made a hand move toward the door next to Angeal.

"It's still-" Cloud started before coughing on his word.

Angeal was taken aback by the ask. He thought the boy would run from him at the first occasion.

"Come in."

He opened the door with his free hand, still glad he chose never to close the door and turned on the switch. The light flicked on revealing his garden in good shape. Angeal forgot who he put in charge during his absence but he made good work.

The room wasn't very big. Angeal had to play with the shelves spots to save the more room possible. Genesis often joked Angeal had spent much more time arranging the furnitures positions rather than tending to his plants.

Angeal had found true wood for his shelves rather than cold metal and adapted lamps for plants growth. He didn't have a big collection for now, only common plants from around Midgard or some he had managed to take during a mission, without them dying during the transport. SOLDIERs always snickered when they saw him with a tiny green thing on his lap as they returned home.

Angeal turned toward Cloud. The boy entered the room then didn't move. His eyes were lost somewhere else than the tip of his boots.

"So, what's happening to you?"

Angeal put his hands on his hips, waiting for the answer.

Cloud lifted his eyes and crossed Angeal's. He seemed blank, "I can't talk to Zack."

"Is that-"

Angeal was cut off by a sob then a stream of tears on the blond's face which didn't move from its blankness. Angeal was a bit impressed to see Cloud cry but stay mostly composed, yet a bit afraid too. The only reason would be that Cloud was still holding himself, which was heartbreaking but understandable. They were not friends and Cloud wasn't feeling at ease with him. Which prompted the question: why did Cloud accept to come in a little room with a guy that had been hostile toward him a second ago?

"I can't talk to Zack," Cloud repeated. "I'm always watched. I can't sleep. I can't- I want Zack."

The blond dissolved into tears as he tried to talk again but failed miserably. He breathed in quick, swallow burst. Cloud pushed his palms againsit his eyes, like he was trying to hold the tears, the breakdown, back. He let himself slip in a crouched position, holding on his head which protected it from any possible hit. The only word understandable was Zack's name between bouts of another language.

Angeal closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to calm the guilt building in him. Obviously Cloud could be dangerous, but he was also a victim. Or he was a good actor, a little voice commented. Which made the First pinch his lips and shook his head. He wasn't going this road again, not till Cloud didn't give him a reason to.

He walked up to the ex-Watcher who curled on himself. Cloud's sobs were quieted by the position. They were stopped entirely as Angeal stood next to Cloud. He thought he had been cheated, that Cloud was playing with him, until Angeal realised the blond had stopped breathing altogether. He extended a hand, worried, but it was batted away by a trembling hand. Angeal fixed the ex-Watcher and noted the swollen and red eyes. For a second Cloud seemed to have stopped crying but he blinked one, two times and more tears hurtled down the scrunched face.

"I'm going to find a drink for you," Angeal said, removing his sweat-shirt. "Cry all you want, but not on the flowers. Salted water isn't good for them."

He smiled hesitantly at Cloud who gazed at him blankly, not even quirking up his lips at Angeal's joke. The First let fall his sweat-shirt on the blond head and took off. He saluted some SOLDIERs hanging out in the hall rather than the lounge for the, mostly, quiet space then entered the communal room. He wasn't here for two seconds that a young Third Class came to him shyly.

"Er, sir, can I talk to you?"

"I'm sorry, kid," He clapped the boy's shoulder and smiled, "but I already have someone to take care of right now."

"Ah... I understand, sir. It can wait when you're in your office."

"Good." Angeal smiled at him again before the boy returned to his group of friends.

Angeal had worked hard for not being seen as harsh like Genesis or stone cold like Sephiroth. Obviously they weren't so one dimensional, but the lower ranks and younger soldiers seemed to ignore that. With his perpetual frown, gift of worrying too much for his troublesome friends and lovers, people had assumed for months, maybe years that he was the worst of the trio. Genesis still teased him about the rumors which were started in the past. That why Cloud's fear had hurt so much.

Yes, Angeal didn't trust the man. Yes, he was jumpy and uneasy around the ex-Watchers, but making them fear him when they were already mentally scared didn't make Angeal feel good. Far from it.

Feet dragging with the heaviness of his unbelievable behaviour, he went to the table in the corner. The cafeteria wasn't far. He would just have to continue and turn at the first angle, but warms drinks weren't the cafeteria speciality. Plus the SOLDIERs were lazy, so they put some homemade drinks available for all in a corner of the lounge.

He looked at what left and rolled his eyes at the badly hidden bottle of whisky behind the coffee machine. He could take it and offer it to Cloud but somehow the blond didn't stuck him at a guy fond of alcohol. Angeal took a cup of coffee for himself and one of hot chocolate for the blond. You couldn't do wrong with hot chocolate, he learned.

When he returned to his garden, he paused a second behind the door, listening. Ragged breath then sobs immediately muted by a hand or something else to the point Angeal doubted and instant the blond was still breathing but a long exhale reassured him. Angeal pushed the door with his shoulder, stepping inside he took a good look at Cloud. The ex-Watcher was still curled on himself and tried to hold himself from making too much sounds.

Angeal put he chocolate mug next to Cloud's feet, he lingered a second as he tried to see Cloud's face but it was securely held between arms and knees.

"Wait a second," Angeal murmured as he crouched down.

He took his PHS and tapped Zack's number. His movement had the avantage of making Cloud lift his head. Angeal's heart sank at the fear still present in Cloud's features. He returned his attention to his PHS in part to escape this expression and made the call.

" _Yo, Angeal!_ " came the puppy's answer.

Angeal smiled derisively to himself, he had Cloud full attention now. He was certain the boy would have wiggled his tail if he had been a puppy. Maybe he should nickname him like that too.

"Hello, Zack. You can talk?"

He heard a lot of winds and the palms of choppers.

" _Yup! I'm in the chopper though. Texts would be better._ "

"I'm with Cloud, apparently you couldn't talk before and... it upset him."

" _Cloud!_ " Zack yelled with delight. " _Pass him, pass him!_ "

Angeal chuckled and gave his PHS to Cloud who took it hesitantly. He looked at Angeal with a questioning look. As Cloud hesitated, Zack tried to grab his attention.

" _Hey, chocobo-head! You hear me? Chocobo?_ "

Cloud made a noise that sounded a lot like a chocobo affronted wark.

The First returned to his plants, glad he had helped another SOLDIER in pain. Maybe Cloud wasn't SOLDIER, but he was enhanced and his experience had similarities with SOLDIErs. After all the garden existed solely for him to have a 'base' for those type of crisis. SOLDIERs became more calm when they helped him work too.

Althougth he had dealt with Cloud without yells and trashing. Which made him one of the easiest man to take care of.

He repoted a little tree he was trying to turn into a bonzaï and pampered it, but he couldn't help himself from overhearing Cloud and Zack's conversation.

"Hey, buddy," Zack cooed. "How's my lovely tiny chocobo? What did you do today? Did you annoy Genesis for me? Or Geal?"

"Zack," Cloud grumbled, his nose in the crook of his arm. He took a breath then said, "Not okay."

There was a pregnant pause before Zack emitted a long whine. Angeal closed his eyes, sure the boy would make Cloud more twitchy without wanting to.

"Cloud?" Zack called softly. "You're here buddy?"

"Yes."

"What do you really need?"

"Don't know," Cloud mumbled. "Just. I wanted to hear you."

"Well, I sure can talk until your sick of me if that's what you want!" Zack chuckled, yet Angeal was pretty surprised by the way his ex-mentee reacted to Cloud ask. He himself had trouble to understand why Sephiroth preferred method to calm down was to be silent and alone, or just listening to others.

The boy started telling Cloud about some fall Sebastian had, that lead to a series of falls in the others, like a giant domino. Peter complained loud enough for even Angeal to hear, while the others laughed. Stories about the squad were told one after another until Zack ran out of steam and started talking about banal, but annoying problems when cleaning a camp.

Apparently it was enough for Cloud to calm down. At the end he was still crouched on the ground, head on his knee, but played absent-mindedly with one of his boots' lace, a small smile on his lips.

The call finally ended as Zack hadn't more things to tell, or even battery on his PHS. Cloud stood up, he fumbled with the PHS before handing it to Angeal with a thanks. He always ran away from the room, taking his drink with him.

"Cloud," Angeal called. The blond turned toward him. "Why did you accept to come in when I had been aggressive just before?"

Cloud titled his head to the side, "One-on-one are easier than fighting against a group. Especially if I don't have all my head in the fight."

Angeal nodded, yet his heart clenched so painfully he had to take a second to retrieve a normal breathing. He didn't say to Cloud that he still had his sweat-shirt on him.

* * *

Cloud wasn't sleeping. Not at the moment at least. He hadn't a full night of rest since he left Zack. Back then it had been a novelty after years in the Watchers where he feared an attack during his sleep. Even making friend with Kunsel didn't give him the trust necessary to go into a full cycle of sleep. He took naps or dozed off without sleeping. Which was the cause of a great tiredness somehow worse than in the Watcher group. The lack of Dirk, Flore or Lydia next to him was what troubled him the most.

Lack of sleep made his mind fuzzy and slow. He hated that and really tried to sleep a bit more. Sometimes it worked, he could shut of his brain. But mostly his body was conditioned to wake up anytime someone approached him in his sleep, breathed to loud or moved. If he was alone, defenseless.

Cloud had been glad when he returned to the dorm to find it devoid of Kunsel presence. It was the only way he could sleep more profoundly. And he did. But even after his breakdown Cloud couldn't fight against this reaction. When he heard the door he woke up from his uneasy sleep. His eyes still felt heavy from both sleep and his crying not long ago, even closed. His ears were listening intently.

"He's sleeping."

Cloud's heart jumped in his chest. He turned toward the door and blinked at the silhouette cut in negative by the light behind him. He would have recognised Zack anywhere.

The First saw him awake and hummed as he swallowed the space between them.

"Hey, buddy!"

"Hey, Zack."

Zack hummed again, rocking back and forth on his heels to contain his energy. His voice dissipated the anxiety Cloud had started feeling when the door opened.

"So, want to crash at my home?"

Even in the dark Cloud see Zack's smile. He returned the smile then tried to lift himself in a seated position even if his body felt heavy and wrong. He breathed and closed his eyes to calm down the wave of nausea.

"You don't look well, buddy. Need a lift?"

"What?"

Cloud opened his eyes to Zack extending his arms with a smile broader than before. He looked like he wanted Cloud to accept the offer. Which was exactly what the blond wanted.

He opened his arms too, and Zack jumped on the tacit answer. Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack's shoulder as the dark haired lifted him with a pleased sound. Cloud nuzzled against his soulmate neck a bubble of happiness expending in his chest. He trusted Zack more than anyone, being held by someone else would have panicked him but Zack was warm and safe.

"Thanks for taking care of him, Kunsel."

"I did my best with what he let me do and what didn't felt too overbearing. Well, I'll be putting myself to bed too."

Zack's chuckle vibrated into him, jolting a bit Cloud, but he was already half asleep and didn't care. Zack's smell and the natural way he held Cloud remembered him the full year in Mako coma he had been taken care of by other-Zack. Evidences suggested it was a fantasy. Zack hadn't been here to take care of him during his Mako poisoning. But his brain had been right in the way Zack hold him. Maybe because Cloud, in his Mako coma, had remembered Zack holding him when he was still an infantryman. After all, Zack loved to hold, hug and touch him.

Cloud let himself being lulled by Zack's slight balancing as he walked and his comforting smell. He didn't felt the need to look around for threats even when he heard people in the hall.

He woke up disoriented when Zack's hold loosened around him. Cloud tightened his hold on Zack's neck, a desperate noise escaping him.

"Oh!" Zack emitted at the strength of Cloud hold. "Hey, it's okay. I'm just undressing, babe."

Cloud looked around, not recognising the place even if he felt the bed under him. A caress on his forehead brought his attention back to Zack, half on the bed. The SOLDIER held himself above Cloud since he had a vice grip on Zack's neck. His warm hand mapped a path on Cloud's face with featherlike touches.

"Hey," he murmured. "You're safe here. You're fine."

As the time passed without Cloud letting go, Zack removed his boots. He rolled over Cloud, dragging his lover in the movement and flopped on the bed, Cloud on him. Zack nuzzled Cloud's neck, holding his waist with a firm grip. He kept giving reassurance and telling Cloud how glad he was to be back, to have Cloud back. Ultimately, Cloud fell asleep, someone ready to protecting him near.

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End file.
